To be terrified of weaning?

[BeverleyGoldbergInc]

DS is almost 17 weeks and showing signs he’s ready for something more substantial than milk. He was a huge baby (over 11lbs born) and is still off the charts in height and weight. Milk is just not satisfying him anymore - he has 8oz every two hours during the day. He does sleep through from 7-7 though.

Anyway, I am absolutely terrified of weaning - he’s my pfb and I don’t know what to do . There is so much contradicting advice online and I’m in a constant state of panic about it.

Was considering starting him on porridge for breakfast and a meal of the evening.

What did you do? And were any of you scared of this too?

I will add, I realise it’s irrational but what can you do?

You’ll get all sorts of conflicting advice.
We follow the Nhs bitesize guide to healthy weaning.
Our boy was premature and we were told to not start weaning until he is 6 months corrected. He’s 5 months corrected (6.5 actual) and he also wants 8oz every 2.5 hours (same - sleeps 6.30-6.30). He’s only on the 25th centile though so I think he thinks he has to catch up!! Anyway the HV said to start with an mouthful of baby rice on a morning for a few days - he hated that (gagged and vomited) so we changed it to mash potato mixed with his milk. Gagged the first time then took to it ok. After a couple of days I have him carrot, then broccoli. That was last week. This week we added fruit to the afternoon. So he has an ice cube of veg on a morning and then some fruit in the afternoon.
After next week we are going to start porridge on a morning, veg at lunch and fruit in the pm. We’re giving him as many different tastes as we can (even the ones we aren’t keen on or don’t usually eat) Once he’s used to it we’ll move to other things like eggs and weetabix and then try some finger food and chicken etc but that’s a way off yet. There’s no rush. It’s very exciting and he’s taken to it great.

He’s still having all of his 8oz bottles at the moment.

Go to your local library/get on the kindle store, and download Baby Led Weaning and also the Annabel Karmel book about weaning. Read both and then pick one of the two methods and stick with it? At 17 weeks you have loads of time until you need to start so I'd delay it as long as possible if you're feeling unsure. It's fine just to offer more milk.

There isn't really a right or wrong - OK, there are a few total no-nos - don't wean massively quickly, it's totally fine for it to take 6-12 months to have shifted from mostly milk to mostly food. Don't start before 16 weeks. Don't wean onto a diet heavy in junk food, lots of salt or sugar. Avoid choking hazards (both of these books have different approaches but either is fine) - apart from this it is totally up to you and just whatever preference you have. Sometimes people find that freedom helps them relax about various advice/getting approaches "wrong" but sometimes people find that they would much prefer to have a set plan of offering this in week 1, that in week 2 etc and Annabel Karmel is very good at that kind of thing. At the same time hopefully the idea that it doesn't really matter is a bit of reassurance if you think actually - I don't really like courgette so I don't want to use courgette in week 4, I'll try brocolli instead.

I've weaned a baby in the UK where there's more of an "anything goes" approach and in Germany where there are set guidelines explaining exactly what to do each month :o and honestly babies are exactly the same in both countries - so pick a haphazard or a structured approach, whichever appeals to you more.

Food is less nutritious than breast milk/formula.

So you're better to offer more milk if he's hungry.

The hungrier milk just makes the poor lad constipated for a few days - to the point of crying whilst pooping. When I switch back to normal milk he is back to shitting with a vengeance.

Honestly, I think part of my worry is the health visitor was so unhelpful and I just feel like I’ve been left to figure it out. Will up to 9oz from tomorrow and see how he gets on.

Thanks Bertie that’s very helpful advice. Will download those books ASAP.

If you’re nervous, get the Annabel karmel book. I think she’s great, very clear what to give and when. He’s probably a little bit young but spend a couple more weeks reading around the subject and then you’ll probably feel a lot more confident too.

Also I would agree to wait until 6 month - our HV only told us to go ahead because he is actually 6 months but slightly behind because he’s prem and they wanted us to wait (he can’t sit up properly etc yet and it’s better if they can) if we could. I would definitely speak to your HV, ours is actually really helpful.

It's very counter-intuitive to mix veg/fruit in with milk.

These are all foods adults eat when they want to lose weight. And you want babies to gain weight. And we stop having full fat dairy.

So although you feel like it's "more substantial" you're actually taking up space with in their tummies that could be filled with more nutritious milk.

Sorry I just read that your health visitor is not helpful!!

My HV told me the guidelines for weaning are going to be changed to fruit and veg from 4 months as there’s now evidence early weaning prevents allergies in later life and it will bring the UK in line with other European countries

When you say he "isn't satisfied" what do you mean? I assume you are bottle feeding, are you pacing the feed properly or is he downing it like a pint? Think about when you eat, if you shovel in a huge meal quickly it takes time for your tummy to send the message to your brain that you are full. If you wait 15 or 20 mins after the bottle does he calm a little?

Babies also like/need to suck non nutritively, a bf baby can suck in this way naturally without taking milk, in a bottle fed baby this need can be met with a dummy.

Babies can fuss for many reasons and aren't always hungry, if he is gaining weight & staying on his centile why do you think he needs more?

He may not actually need more milk. If he does, the sorts of food you would wean him on to are lower calorie than milk and won't fill him up any more, in fact the reverse, they will occupy space in his tummy, reducing his appetite for milk, and he may actually seem hungrier as a result.

Are you doing paced feeding? If not, baby might be draining the bottle as gravity is 'helping'. Paced feeding would give you an idea of how hungry baby really is as they dictate the pace

I like a book because at least it's one point of view. The problem with starting a thread is that you'll get 1000 different approaches and realistically all of them are fine but you can't do them all at once because they contradict each other.

Invest in some laundry stain remover and show your washing machine some TLC. Get the ikea antilop (or fisher price booster seat) and while you're at ikea, buy a cheap shower curtain (to protect the floor) and about five of their coverall bibs. That will set you for any approach.

Also when you start weaning - the baby doesn't get much food or nourishment from it for a while. Lots is spit out or dropped on the floor. At the beginning it is about getting used to things and weird textures in their mouth.

For baby constipation - which often comes with any change of diet as their digestion adjusts - I used to use a little very watered down apple juice, which worked well.

My dd had no interest in baby rice, purer food etc. I felt. A failure. One of my df came over and suggested blw. Seriously life so easy afterwards and dd eats everything (but mango) now aged three. Just go with it....its fun, messy and remember food before one is just for fun so dont worry if they eat nothing. Milk is what a baby needs.

He takes around 20 minutes to finish the bottle - he stops himself for little breaks, but likes to keep the teat in his mouth.

It’s hard to explain but when he is full, he is a bit more docile for 15 minutes, sometimes even falling into a quick nap, but recently he is wide awake as soon as the bottle is finished. This was my other worry with upping the milk, I don’t want to over-face him with milk.

when he is full, he is a bit more docile for 15 minutes, sometimes even falling into a quick nap, but recently he is wide awake as soon as the bottle is finished

This could just be developmental! So he's alert to the world around him, he should be :)
As they get older they do stop just nodding off any time a dummy or bottle is put in their mouth. I wouldn't say you have any signs here that this baby is ready to be weaned, I would wait at least another month. There is really no rush.

Also.... i overeat at Christmas dinner and then I nod off. It doesn't mean I need to eat like that at every meal.

People think you can't overfeed a baby....you can't overfeed a breastfed baby. You can overfeed formula and people do. I've seen people give 14oz in one go. That's nearly a pint, it would make plenty of adults feel over full to drink a pint of milk in a few minutes and a baby is a fraction of the size.

If he's gaining weight at the same pace then the milk he's taking is enough. It doesn't sound like he's ready, watching/reaching for food is just curiosity rather than a 'sign' of being ready for solids.

However- i hate the 'food before one is just for fun', it's bullshit. Guidelines are not laws, follow your gut but do read up on signs of readiness before weaning (NHS is a good start rather than some of the sketchy and outdated advice out there). I weaned DD1 at 17/18 weeks on advice of HV and she did fine, but could sit unaided by then and didn't drop any milk from feeds.

I weaned my LB at around 18 weeks, with the advice from my HV. He was a hungry baby. She rather I started to wean than put him on Hungry Baby milk . We started with an afternoon meal, what ever we were having but blended.. he is 5 now and still eats like a bloody horse...One meal for a 2 weeks then introduce another ie breakfast, the another 2 weeks lunch.

when he is full, he is a bit more docile for 15 minutes, sometimes even falling into a quick nap, but recently he is wide awake as soon as the bottle is finished

This is likely to be developmental... all of mine were about 4 months when they stopped dozing after a feed.

I agree with everyone else who's saying it's too early, wait another month or so. To refer to the part of your post about being a bit nervous about weaning, my advice is to dont think about early weaning as 'feeding'. You're months away from food replacing milk as a meal, just focus on having fun with new textures and tastes and how exciting for him it will be. If he doesn't like something, fine try it again in a week or so. It really doesn't matter if you chose baby led or traditional weaning, the only wrong way to wean would be giving too much sugar or salt or only giving the same food as you know they'll eat it. It's an exciting time for both of you when hes a bit bigger x

As others have suggested, I would wait until he is 6 months (or close to) but in terms of being terrified, if it is choking you are worried about I found a baby first aid class really useful and also watching some videos on YouTube showing the difference between gagging and choking (if I hadn’t done this I would have definitely panicked that our LO was choking). Good luck, and don’t worry too much!

Personally I’d wait until 6 months, the evidence shows it has the best long term impact on the risk of allergies. Big babies don’t need to wean early
No it doesnt

Op your sensible and reading up and considering advice... Put all of that into the melting pot and then consider your personal situation and baby.

Personally I wish I'd weaned mine sooner and listened to instincts. First was only bf for short time and utterly desperate for food when she first had it.. Second no. Bf for a few years.. She was different but first.... I really wish I'd trusted myself.