Had another "lovely" weekend away at MIL's house.
This weekend was special though because I also got the pleasure of the company of SIL, FIL and MIL's sister (not to mention MIL's best friend).
I will try to be short...
DH parents had an acrimonious divorce many years ago and his mum is still immotionally challenged over it all. FIL has moved on and has a new wife, but MIL is still very bitter.
We have a very tense relationship because I don't think she feels I am good enough for her son, even though we are quite happy. My dh and I now have 2 children together, but I had 2 children when we met. MIL was not pleased, even though SIL had a child when she met her dp. I guess things are different when it is your child!
She constantly makes comments like "any other mother would get upset by..." or "as long as he is happy I don't mind who he is married to". Some comments made are just snide and I do try to ignore them.
She lives 100 miles away, so we don't go up very often, mainly at Christmas. A few Christamases ago we had a dreadful time. She behaved like a madwoman and was constantly being horrible to me and my ds (not her grandson) whom she has said before that she dislikes. Not nice eh?
We had not been back since this and I was hopeful all would be well. We visited everyone and mostly had a lovely time. The other night we got into an arguement because she mentioned in a conversation that her oldest grandchild (SIL's dd) was "slow" and a "bit thick". I found this very offensive!! I really feel for her as she is a bit older and left in the shadow of her baby sister with SIL new partner.
It all kicked off and my ds who is 20 months and still not walking was brought up. She is very critical of this. Despite doctor saying he was physically fine, she feels that there must be something wrong. She sets the bar so high and it makes me furious!!
If anyone criticises her in the slightest she gets really upset and tries to have my dh (and everyone else) on side..."how can you let her speak to me that way??".
I am not a mean person and I do respect that she is his mother. Most of the arguement was her reaction to me telling her that was a terrible thing to say. After having words spat at me for a good few minutes, I finally said a few regrettable things. But I really do try to contain them. She is just so bitter and hides behind this hurt act. I am amazed that she has managed to convince so many people that she is a darling, because she is so terrible to me.
Sorry for the rant, but I am not sure what to do. We got alot of things out the other day, but nothing resolved because she doesn't take responsibility for anything she does. I know it is a 2 way street and I have tried so hard for my kids sake and especially for dh. But she makes it hard for us to see FIL because he packed up and left her out of the blue (dh even admites that the relationship was strained for years!). She loves calling him a b@stard in front of my dd!!
My dh sees her behaviour and he can understand how I feel, but I do honestly think he is a bit scared to say anything. He could get venom or floods of tears and he is quick to avoid both.
Do we spend this year at home?? What in the world can I do??? All of my dh's close friends, FIL and extended family are there, so it would be sad to miss seeing them. But if I mention a hotel she gets the tears out and acts like I hate her!!