To consider counselling?

[mnthrowaway2099]

Just posting for traffic, anyone find it useful? To set expectations, it is it likely the clinician won’t comment/give advice and instead just ask lots of questions on how that made you feel etc?

Whilst I am a functioning adult, I’m not particularly happy. I’m not depressed but I am definitely holding onto negative memories and really want to unpack it all.

I am NC with my “family” who are verbally (sometimes physical too) abusive. It’s hard to understand their actions when I have my own DD! It’s hard not to compare my life to my friends who have lots of family support etc. Also I was bullied at school so whilst I have since done well for myself, I still have residual confidence and self esteem issues that still impact me, no matter how hard I try to move on. It definitely holds me back & I just feel like I’ve reached an impasse with self help

I’ve had counselling - one experience was unhelpful years ago but then about 2 years ago I tried again with a different type of counselling and it was very helpful. I would just say there are many different types of counselling so persevere until you find the right counsellor for you - someone you feel comfortable with. Maybe try ‘person centred’ counselling first as they will adapt their approach to fit your needs. Good luck. I hope it helps. A counsellor isn’t there to give you advice but through talking they will guide you to discover your own solutions and how you really feel about things and how to move forwards.

Is no one else posting comments?

I was in counselling since my teens for anxiety and depression. I found it very helpful. I think the thing that helped me the most was having someone outside my social circle to talk to who I knew wouldn't judge me. It's definitely worth looking into, and as PP stated sometimes you just need to persevere until you find the right one for you.

You sound very strong OP, goodluck

Counselling isn't for advice, it's for coping mechanisms and working through complicated experiences and memories. It's definitely worth it, but if you don't click with your first counsellor keep going, you'll find one!

I have had counselling for a long time and am a trainee counsellor soon to be qualified.
Every counsellor has to undergo a huge amount of personal therapy during training.

From a personal experience, counselling is the best thing I've ever done. It helped me understand so much about myself and where my issues were stemming from. Once I understood that, with the help of my counsellot I was able to put in place coping mechanisms to deal with them and move forward.

From a counsellor perspective, I think you need to determine what you are hoping to get from counselling. We cannot tell you the answers or solve your problems for you, but we can truly listen to you, and help and support you on your journey.

A person centred approach will show no judgment, lots of empathy and unconditional positive regard, but focus more on you where you are now.
Psychotherapy looks to understand your past and sub/unconscious to help you move forward.

Both are very useful depending on your needs. I practice integrative which is a mix of the too, with a little existential thrown in.

I should also add, find someone you feel comfortable with. Don't be afraid to meet with a few, many offer free initial sessions, to find the right counsellor for you