Baby shower gift list

[amazonazing]

Have named changed just in case however want people’s thoughts on this. A friends daughter is expecting her first. Df is organising a baby shower (which is a while off and very much yet to be organised). Friend has just emailed me a link for an amazon gift list for baby stuff. Aibu to think this is veering on cf territory. Would not mind so much if an actual invite had been sent. She has also posted the link to the link on Facebook (pubically), tbf - I have only known her daughter a few years and while of course I’d give a present - everything on the list ranges from about £30 - £100! Quite a bit for a friends daughter

Sorry forgot to ask.. Aibu to think this is a bit grabby

I agree, baby shower gift lists are beyond tacky.

YANBU. I certainly wouldn’t be spending minimum of £30 on a friends daughers baby. I’d just take a little bag of Johnson’s baby bubble bath and lotion. A couple of vests. A set of baby grows and a small cuddly toy.

Very grabby indeed

Phew glad it’s not just me! Would spend it on a family member - but it’s also the fact that I seemed to get a vague “are you around in January for a baby shower” and then a link to a list.

I didn’t have a baby shower with either DC and neither did any of my friends - we visited once the baby was born, and brought a gift and food etc, but I must admit I don’t see the point in a baby shower unless it’s just a way of getting gifts from people? So, yes, a gift list feels tacky to me - but so do baby showers in general!

To be fair I’ve only ever been to one baby shower - it wasn’t so much a thing when I was younger and everyone had kids.

I wouldn't be buying off a baby shower gift list, and I wouldn't be attending the baby shower. If invited!

YANBU. Tacky.

I dont hate baby showers unlike a lot of MN and I've enjoyed the few I've been invited to but a gift list is a big No No.

I think lists are unnecessary, because showers would normally be small gross close friends/family, and the host can discretly coordinate to avoid excessive duplicates.

(So unlike a wedding, which is larger and may well include distant relatives and slightly random acquaintances from work, clubs etc)

Also 'shower-type gift' is an idiom for an inexpensive but useful present. Over £30 seems like a heck of a lot, and I would expect to spend rather less

YANBU at all.
I can't get my head round baby showers generally. Sadly, there are still things that can tragically go wrong and I don't like to celebrate the birth of a baby until the baby is actually safely here.

Even putting that aside, it is incredibly rude to ask for presents when you haven't even been invited to something.

It is incredibly rude (even when occasions might warrant a gift list) to assume people would be going to spend such large sums of money on a gift.
As you say, your friend's dd is not exactly a close relationship. If you happened to be a knitter you might knit a hat or a cardi or something, but there should be no expectation that you would be getting anything.
She's incredibly lacking in manners

I'm suspicious. My amazon list fits this bill and I am sure I have a surprise baby shower coming up.

Note: I have not asked for anything but I was told to put one together when I hit 12 weeks pregnant so I just put random stuff on there.

I wouldn't spend that money on a friends daughter either - you're not in the wrong.

@MoaningMyrtle96 if it’s you - I’m afraid the £90 leather maternity bag it out

@amazonazing oh thank god it's not me - I asked for a rucksack maternity bag at a cost of £25!

Very grabby and cheeky .
By all means take a gift ( to suit your pocket and friendship) after baby is born.
Now there seems to be gender reveal parties, then baby shower, then present after birth. What next?
Crazy.

I'm in america and I know registries are common here, but this year was the first time I encluntered someone who has repeatedly posted their registry on facebook and insisted people buy off the list. I am not close, but had considered making a gift... it put me off. There were items listed in the hundreds... several car seats, a nearly $200 dad themed camo nappy bag. WTF. So grabby. And the friend who volunteered to host the shower backed out so not even a shower now... just the repeated list thrust in our faces daily. It is a 3rd baby too.

She posted the link 'pubically'?

I don't think you're being unreasonable but, for what it's worth, I had a baby shower forced on me by family * and a gift list was sent out without my knowledge or input. Some mums-to-be just check out of the process and their family and friends get carried away.

• I didn't want one because I was very anxious about the pregnancy and had irrational fears about "jinxing" it. However, I had weeks of emotional blackmail from my mum ("you must be ashamed of me if you don't want me to meet your friends. I don't know why you should be ashamed of me when I've done everything for you", invented threats that my not having a baby shower would cause us a permanent family rift and DSIL would never "let" us see DB ever again if I didn't have a baby shower, etc).

DD had a list on amazon. Just made it easy for family who offered to buy certain things and wanted to know what one she wanted. It was open to everyone else too. I think £30 being the minimum amount is steep DD had plenty of items at £10/15 like little rattle bracelets and a car mirror etc

Baby showers are a vulgar Americanism

Pubically is a great typo