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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU MIL & SIL

44 replies

Doozy1991 · 10/10/2019 18:54

So my MIL offered to store baby clothes and a few other small bits at her house as we haven't got space at the moment and they have lots! (her words not mine).

Today I picked up a little jumper and asked her to add it to the bag (it's a large toys r us bag) she said sure and went upstairs.

My SIL said oh gosh more stuff, you have to stop, no one else will be able to buy anything for the baby!

She then went on to say "poor mum bought a new coat that wouldn't even fit in her wardrobe because of all the baby stuff thats in there, imagine not being able to hang your new coat".

SIL has just moved in to MILs for 8-10 weeks with her husband & 3 kids due to having house done, so I don't think my bag is the thing taking up space Tbh.

AIBU to just take all the stuff back to my house even if we don't have the space to store it atm? Am I being petty because MIL hasn't directly said anything?

I feel so upset over this... The joys of being pregnant & hormonal!

OP posts:
Original poster
Doozy1991 · 10/10/2019 19:32

@Teachermaths I'm almost 20 weeks & it's 1 bag.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 10/10/2019 19:33

Isn’t it a bit early to know it’s a boy?

Newbie1981 · 10/10/2019 19:33

Can't believe people are saying it's too early to buy stuff, missing the point much!??Congratulations by the way OP! Ignore the grumps!!!

ineedaholidaynow · 10/10/2019 19:34

x-post

NoSauce · 10/10/2019 19:34

MIL has said she has lots of space so I don’t understand how one bag is causing SIL so much angst. What else is there? Is SIL normally a bit of a stirrer?

NoSauce · 10/10/2019 19:35

Isn’t it a bit early to know it’s a boy?

No. My friend found out for definite she was having a boy at 12 weeks from a scan and blood test.

Teachermaths · 10/10/2019 19:35

OK but still very early to buy stuff.

I'd stop buying much until you move. Then it won't be a problem.

Whoops75 · 10/10/2019 19:35

Leave the bag where it is and store future purchases at your own house.

SIL is being a bitch not MIL

Original poster
Doozy1991 · 10/10/2019 19:38

@ineedaholidaynow no not too early 🤔

OP posts:
PurpleCrowbar · 10/10/2019 19:39

'Oh MIL I've just thought. We've been parking our baby stuff on you & actually you might be a bit short of space since SIL & family are staying with you now? Is it in the way? Can take it now if so?'

MIL: either 'yeah, actually - sorry but would you mind? It IS a bit in the way, especially if you're planning on buying more stuff?' OR 'eh? No, it's fine, it's one bag, I'd have said if it was a problem?'

Cut out the middlewoman ie SIL - your arrangement is with MIL. Who is free to offer accommodation &/or storage space to whomever she likes.

Original poster
Doozy1991 · 10/10/2019 19:39

@Newbie1981 thank you 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
Doozy1991 · 10/10/2019 19:41

@PurpleCrowbar I think you're right. I'll approach her next time we're over & when SIL is out.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 10/10/2019 20:48

Do you think SIL may be a bit upset if there is great excitement that the new baby is going to be a boy, as she has girls?

Wonkybanana · 10/10/2019 21:06

I'm guessing that the SIL is marking her territory. She's moved in with her own mum, and resents you having even the slightest claim to a bit of wardrobe. If she, her DH and three DCs have moved in for 8 - 10 weeks, there's a great deal more of their stuff at MIL's than there is of yours.
I wouldn't be surprised if MIL knows nothing of SIL's conversation with you.

It may even be that MIL has had difficulty getting her new coat in the wardrobe because of all their clothes, has had a bit of a sigh, and SIL can't comprehend that it might be anything to do with her, so she's decided it's all because of your one bag.

Original poster
Doozy1991 · 10/10/2019 21:09

I really hope she isn't. There's nothing to suggest she is, she made a few comments about how hard it'll be to have a new baby... We both have kids so don't really know why it was said. But that's it 🤔

OP posts:
EKGEMS · 11/10/2019 00:11

it's not "too early" to buy baby items-end of summer season sales are fabulous currently. The SIL however needs to STFU and back off

Piffle11 · 11/10/2019 03:36

After what your DH said, I think maybe MIL did say something to SIL. My parents are very passive aggressive, and this would exactly what they would do. I borrowed something off my parents once: Told me to keep hold of it, they didn’t need it… Then a couple of months later my sister mentioned that they were cross because I hadn’t given it back. I confronted them about it, and they were ‘oh no it’s fine if you’re still using it’. But apparently it wasn’t fine. They came and took it back a couple of weeks later!

Monty27 · 11/10/2019 03:48

Make a point that in the circumstances you will take the stuff to your house as mils is full up now.
It's really not difficult.
And your mil gave sil ammunition to have a little dig at you out of territorialism. Most probably unwittingly.

0lapislazuli · 11/10/2019 05:00

A Toys R Us bag? Aren’t they a collectible now? Grin

I would put the clothes in a vacuum bag, saves tons of space. Just check with MIL whether she’s still ok with storing it, or if it’s better to take it back with you due to the current circumstances of your SIL living there temporarily, who is obviously taking up much more space and should keep her mouth shut. I’m sure MIL could hang many more coats up in the space SIL’s taking with her whole family and a few baby clothes don’t make that much difference.

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