To not get involved in other people's domestics in the street?

[MaryLane93]

As it says really. I have witnessed a few domestics lately (definitely verbal, possibly physical abuse) and not got involved because I had my kids with me (including a baby). I feel dreadful afterwards for not sticking up for the woman (one had kids with her too) but I can hardly bare look or listen. I didn't ring the police either. I've been feeling really shitty about it but not sure what the right thing is to do. I don't want to stand there watching and gawping, so I just leave ASAP. There have been other people around at the time. I hope they did something, but I wouldn't count on it. If I didn't have the kids with me I'd be more forthcoming, but I end up thinking "my role here is to get the kids home safe." I have been in an abusive relationship and had rows in public and it's just horrible. But it didn't help me when people got involved, ultimately I left when I could but not in the street. AIBU to just hurry on my way? Or WIBU to get involved with kids with me? I have PTSD so a door slamming can trigger me, so I'm not sure how helpful I would be, but I feel dreadful afterwards anyway.

I would call the police but not intervene.

My exh once tried to pull a man off a woman in our city. He had hold of by the scruff of the neck. Exh confronted him, the woman gave exh a mouthful and then they both set upon him. Not saying that happens, but it the reason I wont.

I also have ptsd so understand you wanting to remove yourself. I would just walk further away then call the police.

You're probably right. It's just so hard in the moment to know what the right thing is to do

I used to work for the government in a job that involved dealing with many 'undesirable' types. Our training was to NEVER get involved in any 'domestics' as they usually would turn on you!!!
So I would suggest never to intervene but there's nothing to stop you from contacting the police if you think it necessary.

I think you are completely reasonable to prioritise the safety of your own children. Call the police if you are concerned about the safety of anyone involved.

I’ve posted this on another thread that was something similar but please if you witness what it clear to be domestic abuse/violence please call the police as soon as you can. So many people would have heard/seen things between me and my now ex P and I used to pray someone would call the police and they never did. I am very lucky to be out alive with my children so please call the police next time as you don’t know what is going on behind closed doors and you could be giving a woman her life back x

A man down the street came out of his house when ex was shouting and being nasty to me... I said I was ok. Thankfully he didn’t believe me and called the police.
My life change 100% better that day. I often think of him and how grateful I am to him.

That's the thing, I don't want to risk it getting turned on me but also feel like if I do nothing and just assume somebody else will then I am complicit in the abuse or something. It seems to keep happening and honestly it's putting me off going out at all. Always different people on different streets. Maybe I'm just more aware of it because of my past experiences? I do sometimes wonder if it's just a normal argument and I'm leaping to thinking it's abuse, but surely normal people don't argue in the street badly enough for people to stop? Maybe I just live in a rough area for it. I think I will start calling up if it might help somebody, but I feel a bit silly when it's a few minutes later and I don't even know if they are still arguing or even on that street. It's not neighbours, it's people going past. If it was a neighbour it would be easier to know what to do.

DP once intervened in a man attacking his partner and they both turned on him and the man attacked DP with a chain and knocked his tooth out.