Does it seem like my friend has fallen out with me ?

[French8312]

We used to work together in a school. She's quite a feisty person by nature; she had run-ins/bad things to say about a few of our colleagues and massively clashed with a guy in her department.
I thought this was just her character, but she seemed to always have my back and we all have our bad points, I definitely do.
Anyway, we used to talk a lot about our love lives or lack of and had a good laugh. I'd like to think we were both straight talking people.
She was seeing someone who wasn't very nice and she vented a lot about him, even à few months after they broke up but I didn't mind. I told her to try and forget him and that he wasnt worth it.
Anyway I recently had a bad situation with a guy id been seeing a couple months (and it ended 2 weeks ago) wont go into detail but what he did was quite bad.
Anyway she's been a good shoulder to cry on and has made me feel better about the situation.
About 5 days ago through another friend I found out a new piece of information about the guy which left me pretty gutted.. It had been less than a fortnight so I wasnt fully over it at all.
I text the girl saying what had happened and she replied, 'sorry but it's life, just get over it. Really no point talking about him'.
I saw where she was coming from but I did find it a little blunt and harsh. As i said she often talks about the guy it ended with 3 months ago.
I said that she was surely right and that we were both guilty of it, and put with a laughing emoji that it went for her as well as me.
She said that she only brought him up when i talked about mine and that she didnt 'randomly spew out info' like me.
I said fair enough but hers was quite a long time ago anyway, but that if she did want to talk about him I would always be happy to.
Anyway since then shes been very off with me. Barely talking or just replying one word answers. Ive just left it a couple days and she hasnt messaged.
Does it sound like shes angry or annoyed ? I can understand she was annoyed with me talking about the guy, but it wasnt constant, it's only very recent and as I said she did too.
As i said she tends to hold grudges and Im worried shes just decided she's not interested anymore, even though I have been a good friend and always made the effort to see her where she lives etc.

I think you may have bored her to death with too much relationship info.

Maybe but as I said I had stopped talking about it and we have also talked about hers to death. I did change the subject, and as I said hers was months ago yet she still brings it up. I can understand but Id be pretty gutted if she decided a year's friendship was over because I talked about a guy a little much.

I think she's a shit friend and too much hard work and drama!

I don’t think you’ve done much wrong here. I think you’re discovering why your ‘feisty’ friend has a history of run-ins with people.

I talked about it a lot the week it happened because it had literally just happened ! If it had been 6 months and I was still on about it I can fully understand someone saying get over it. I have a friend who was with a guy for 9 years, 2 years later she says she isnt over it, it occasionally comes up in conversation and I fully understand that it takes time.
She is flaky and frequently cancels at the last minute but Ive let her off. She asked if we could meet in her area simply as it was easier, I went once to be kind but I will not be going again if she cannot meet in the middle.

I don’t think you’ve done anything that most of us haven’t done at some point. Your friend is being a bitch and I would not be chasing her.

I do wonder if she didnt like me telling her that she also talks a lot about her ex. I didnt say it in an angry way at all, more a jokey way but was honest. And I even told her I didnt even mind that she did and it's true, id never tell someone to just get over it etc.
Anyway it's a shame if she has gone funny with me over something so little.

If you think your friend is going on about something a bit (not saying you were), you try to subtly change the subject or find a tactful way to say they seem a bit preoccupied with that topic, or whatever. To say that someone is ‘randomly spewing out info’ is weird and bitchy. She’ll have lost other friends in a similar way. If she’s cooled off with you, I wouldn’t make any effort with her either.

Yeah I agree. I know i was talking very often about it but it was because it had just happened, and I did really appreciate her advice, I talked about other stuff too.
Since she said that I hadnt mentioned it at all either.
I just find hard to keep stuff bottled inside tbh.
As I said shes got a history of clashing/falling out with people and hasnt nice stuff to say about others so perhaps it was just a case of it being my turn :/
Ill stop making effort, if I truly thought someone was a friend Id never fall out with them for something so minor.

My friend has been through a lot this year and I am always a willing ear. It’s worse than petty relationship dramas but even if it were just that, I’d listen to her because that’s what friends do.

I don’t think your friend is a real friend. Drop her and find someone less melodramatic.

Yeah I agree. A guy had been basically stringing along me and someone else at the same time and trying to keep us both secret from one another. Im more over it now and can even laugh about it, but was pretty cut up at the time.
But yeah, not worth it :)

She sounds horrible. Move on, you'll find better friends. No friends is better than this drama queen.

Yeah, i'm sensitive by nature and really considered her a friend so it hurts. Given that she's confrontational i'd have thought she would say something rather than being off and distant, so maybe it isnt that.
I don't know whether to ask her or just leave it. I asked her to meet this weekend, she just replied i'm busy sorry, hasn't given an alternative or messaged otherwise.
Maybe best to just not bother with her from hereon.

The drama, the bitchy, fiery stuff can be so fun and attractive. I know. Been there. I always hoped that I was a special enough friend to be exempt. If this is how a person is then nobody is exempt from this. You may not be sensitive but just really liked her and was hopeful you were different.

I agree with what you say. We used to text all the time and have a good laugh. I did think she really liked me but maybe friendship is disposable for her and she just thought 'cba' so I should now do the same.

Should I bother messaging asking if everything is ok or just forget her ?

No I wouldn’t message - that gives her another chance to ignore you. Leave the ball in her court.

True.. I was just hoping she may at least give me an explanation. I know for a fact I haven't done anything horrible or hurtful..

So, if you haven't done anything bad (which is true) then what do you want from a message from her? Ideally an apology. What are the chances of that? Slim. Do you just want things to go back to how things were? You're worth a whole lot more than that. And don't give her another chance to ignore you.

Don't let her off the hook for this shitty behaviour and if that means letting her go, do it for your own peace.

Yeah she still hasnt messaged anything at all so. It's hurtful but based on her track record I guess I should have maybe expected it. Clearly was never a true friend and i'm better without.

She sounds awful. You don't need her as much as you think, just leave it well alone.