DM babysits for me while I work. It was her suggestion from the day I told her I was pregnant. I have suggested nursery but she was insistent that she wanted to babysit. Told me I could go back full time but I decided I only wanted to do 3 days. My shifts are usually between 9 and 12 hours long and I am a single mum so I'm very grateful of my DMs help. Recently though she's made comments about how difficult DD Has been or how she can't wait for her "days off" which I get. DD is 17 months and can be a handful, much like many toddlers her age. Next week the kids are off school here and my work asked me yesterday if there's a chance I can pick up an extra shift next week, I said I'll asked my DM. So I asked her yesterday, she told me yes that's fine as long as it wasn't Tuesday as she has an appt. So I told my work yes.
Rota was posted today (they're terrible for late posting of rotas but good for me another ways) and I'm working an extra shift on Monday. I usually work Fri, Sat and Sun. Told DM this morning when rota was posted I am working Monday. Her face changed, I said is that ok? She stalled a little and said "i think I have something on" so I asked if she was able to check and she said she'd have to check her phone which was upstairs so she'll text me as I was leaving at this point. She never usually keeps a diary or anything, and never writes anything in her phone either. So anyway as I was leaving she asked if I was annoyed, i said a little bit because i made sure it would be ok with you before telling my boss anything and now I have to mess them about when they're short staffed, otherwise they wouldn't have asked me to work extra in the first place. My mum started yelling at me and saying I had no right to be annoyed as she's doing me a favour. But I tried to explain that it was annoying that I made sure it was ok with you, less than 24 hours ago, and now it's not. She said some nasty things, told me I need to find other childcare from now on.
Yesterday also she made a "joke" DD was crying because I wouldn't let her play in the cupboard under the sink (terrible mother lol) and my DM asked what's she crying for, I replied "as usual she wants things that she can't have" to which DM replied "like a father?" And laughed. DD'S dad decided when she was 11 months old that he doesn't want anything to do with her anymore and I haven't seen or heard from him since. So this really hurt me and I actually cried. But I'm on my period right now so might be being overly sensitive. But also I don't know if this is clouding my judgement of today's situation.
AIBU or is DM?