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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to have said something?

2 replies

Fluffsmum · 10/10/2019 15:53

My mum has form for getting offended by the slightest thing. Anything she considers a negative comment on her is immediately denied, she becomes defensive and offence taken.

She came over yesterday to help with some decorating. Throughout the day she was having some word finding difficulties. I only see her every 6 weeks or so and she wasn't like this last time I saw her. Today she forgot a word when asking me to pass something. I waited for her to remember but she didn't so had to acknowledge she couldn't find the word. I told her I'd noticed it a few times yesterday as well and suggested she may want to see the GP as it can be a symptom of vitamin deficiency (b12, and mum is vegan which increases b12 deficiency risk). She's now offended and upset with me because everyone forgets things occasionally (they do, but this was noticeably an issue and more frequent than normal), veganism is very healthy (yes, it can be, but mum has recently been on a very low calorie diet to lose weight and I'm concerned she isn't getting sufficient nutrients). So now she is in a huff!

AIBU to have said something? I literally said "I noticed you do that a bit yesterday, you might want to get your B12 and folate levels checked"

So as not to drip feed, my nan died of dementia, as did great grandma. Mum would be v.young to have it though.

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 10/10/2019 15:58

There's nothing wrong with what you said, at all. If she chooses to have a tantrum about it, let her. My mother is like yours and she can't tolerate ANY criticism. Behaves like a petulant child if she's challenged by me. It's so ridiculous, and I know how frustrating it is.

Yummymummy2020 · 10/10/2019 16:00

I would have said it too! She might be offended but it’s something you noticed and was said with good intent not to be mean. You could well be on to something and if you hadn’t said it but only thought it and something came of it after you would be kicking yourself!!!

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