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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends weird holiday behaviour.

22 replies

Skyejuly · 10/10/2019 12:58

I dont want to write an essay but I will try not to drop feed too.

Just got back from a holiday with friends. We have all been friends about 3 yrs. One of the friends had been very distant and only started talking to us as the holiday got closer. On holiday she was really quite quiet and distant and just didnt seem happy. We tried talking to her about things but nothing seemed to be up. On the way home she barely spoke to us. We found out she was slagging us off to another friend while away. Would you say something or shall I just leave it and walk away? Confused

OP posts:
BloggersBlog · 10/10/2019 13:03

What have you got to gain by saying something to her? I'd just leave it if I wasn't going to continue the friendship anyway. Nasty people out themselves

SunglassQueen · 10/10/2019 13:04

I'd probably leave it but it depends on what she was saying

Original poster
Skyejuly · 10/10/2019 13:04

I dont think I will...but it's just so confusing why she has lied throughout the trip so much. 🤐 I guess I wont bring it up and just leave it be.

OP posts:
Original poster
Skyejuly · 10/10/2019 13:07

She said that 2 of us were pissed off with another lady for phoning her husband and kids a great deal (not true.)

She told her husband we all got drunk and lost and left her (absolutely didnt happen, we didnt even have any alcohol).

She told another friend that we didnt want the other friend to go and it was nothing to do with her( this was a mutual decision of ALL of us based on other friends health at time and wasnt as simple as not wanting her to come).

I don't know. Just out a negative on the whole thing.

OP posts:
Fiacla · 10/10/2019 13:10

She told another friend that we didnt want the other friend to go and it was nothing to do with her( this was a mutual decision of ALL of us based on other friends health at time and wasnt as simple as not wanting her to come).

That sounds like the kernel of it -- she wanted someone else to come and the group decision was that the other person not be invited? Hence her distantness on the run up to the holiday and unhappiness during it?

SunglassQueen · 10/10/2019 13:13

As long as the people she said you were talking about know it's not true I'd still leave it
People who lie get caught out eventually

MySonIsAlsoNamedBort · 10/10/2019 13:16

I'd definitely ask her what the fuck her problem was and why she was talking utter crap about you all

PrettyPurse · 10/10/2019 13:17

How did you get to hear about what she was saying?

brusselsprout5 · 10/10/2019 13:17

I would say something! Let her know you know what she said. I guess you can't be friends but why let her slag you off, OUT her! I hate people who make stuff up & lie. Can't even understand why people do it?

Straycatstrut · 10/10/2019 13:31

Why did she go if she was going to be unhappy the whole time? No one forced her. Did she plan to go so she could spoil it for everyone else? That kind of behvaiour is childish and selfish and she needs speaking to about it. No one will invite HER next time.

Sunshineonleith12 · 10/10/2019 13:34

Yeah, how do you know what she said to her husband and to another friend?

Tonnerre · 10/10/2019 13:45

If you tried to talk to her about what the problem was and she wouldn't respond, there's nothing more you can usefully do. Time to walk away.

Instatwat · 10/10/2019 13:50

How did you find out what she’d said?

grumpypregnanttired · 10/10/2019 13:51

I’d ask for sure

Boysey45 · 10/10/2019 14:40

Unless she was a really close friend, I'd just drop her and say to the friend who was telling me all this that I didn't want to hear anymore. In my experience the friend telling the tales is often as bad or worse than the person slagging you down. They get off on you being upset and exaggerate things.

Aquamarine1029 · 10/10/2019 14:44

I wouldn't bother asking because anything she would say would just be bullshit. She's a liar and she'll just lie some more, so don't lower yourself by confronting someone like that. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

Original poster
Skyejuly · 10/10/2019 14:56

We saw screenshots of various things. The friend at home was physically unable to come so it was a non discussion really in the end. She was so miserable most of the time. I just dont know why she has lied...

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 10/10/2019 14:59

Who screenshotted it and sent it to you? That seems like a shit stirring thing to do,

LagunaBubbles · 10/10/2019 15:01

I would speak to her. But then again I'm not generally a fan of "leaving things" becayse this generally means people can think they can walk all over you, say what they like and treat you how they like. All the whole pretending to be friends. Nope don't think so.

walkintheparc · 10/10/2019 15:15

They both sound annoying and bitchy. Let her fade out of the group and don't waste more time thinking about it.

shearwater · 10/10/2019 15:16

Just leave it and don't contact her. She sounds like a frenemy.

Rachelover60 · 10/10/2019 15:59

That is horrible. When I started reading your opening post I was thinking the woman may be depressed, perhaps something bad has happened in her family or at work and she's preoccupied. Then you said she was slagging you off to other people!

How dare she. Do you know what she actually said? It's such a sly thing to do, bitchy. I wouldn't expect that of a grown woman.

With friends like her who needs enemies.
Wine

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