Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

AIBU to be thankful for a manager who understands?

18 replies

WhateverHappenedToMe · 10/10/2019 12:15

Background: I work in a team of three managers and three staff. I am one of the two without children.

I requested two half days off in half-term week, which my manager approved. When another manager commented "But WhateverHappened doesn't have children" my manager responded "No, but she volunteers for an organisation which provides daytime activities for children".

OP posts:

PurpleDaisies · 10/10/2019 12:18

It would have been better if your manager had replied “whether or not she has children is irrelevant to her request for annual leave”.

incontrolofmyownlife · 10/10/2019 12:20

Agree with @PurpleDaisies . You not having children is neither here nor there 🤷‍♀️

thecatsthecats · 10/10/2019 12:20

It would have been better if your manager had told them to shut their face, but sadly it's not that kind of world.

I don't have any hobbies relating to children, I don't volunteer for any sort of charity, I don't provide care for anyone.

But somehow, the law still allows me Annual Leave.

anyoneseenmykeys · 10/10/2019 12:23

PurpleDaisies is spot on.

Northernlurker · 10/10/2019 12:23

Not having children would be neither here nor there if a) childcare for holidays was free and b) parents could take kids out if school for family time without penalty. Neither of those things are true. The OPs manager may 'understand' but I bet her colleagues don't. Not being able to take time off in school holidays makes the lives of working parents significantly harder.

Fiacla · 10/10/2019 12:24

It would have been better if your manager had replied “whether or not she has children is irrelevant to her request for annual leave”.

This.

constantlyseekinghappiness · 10/10/2019 12:28

What @PurpleDaisies said.

You shouldn’t have to justify why you want leave during school holidays.

You’re entitled to bloody leave. Having a child doesn’t trump everyone who is child free.

I wouldn’t be happy with your managers response.

Does that mean someone who doesn’t work with children should have been refused a similar request.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/10/2019 12:30

You're quite right to be thankful your manager's got some sense and that you're not working directly for the other one

It's lovely to make things possible for parents if we all can, but the expectation that it'll happen sometimes gets a bit much ... and all too often they're nowhere to be seen when the favour needs returning

neverornow · 10/10/2019 12:32

What @PurpleDaisies said

It shouldn't matter if you have kids or not. That other manager is an arse!

OakElmAsh · 10/10/2019 12:35

@Northernlurker what do you propose employers do ? Only allow people with children to take time off in the school holidays ? That's quite a significant portion of time to favor one group of employees over another, and it contains all the holidays that people may wish to spend with family & friends, even if they don't have kids

AliceLittle · 10/10/2019 12:35

Doesn't matter what your activity was the answer should have been what Purpledaisy said.

Dodoluded · 10/10/2019 12:38

I have just had a long post on this last week. The over rising consensus was that people should be able to take leave whenever they wanted (apart from operational reasons) regardless of whether they did or did not have children.

Northernlurker · 10/10/2019 12:43

People always say everybody should take leave when they want, regardless of circs, right up until they themselves want leave in school holidays and can't have it. No I don't think parents should have rights in excess of other employees but let's not kid ourselves that it makes no difference when people take leave. For a working parent being in a team with people who are allergic to leave in school holidays is a boon.

anyoneseenmykeys · 10/10/2019 12:47

People always say everybody should take leave when they want, regardless of circs, right up until they themselves want leave in school holidays and can't have it.

not true.
I haven't changed my opinion since having kids, I don't considerate my case a priority to have Christmas off because I have little ones. It's great when I CAN, but being a parent is absolutely irrelevant.

NiceLegsShameAboutTheFace · 10/10/2019 12:48

Also agree with @PurpleDaisies

I have no children. My annual leave time does not involve child related activities. Surely I'm still entitled to time off?

InsertFunnyUsername · 10/10/2019 13:00

YANBU OP 🙂

Puzzledandpissedoff · 10/10/2019 13:17

For a working parent being in a team with people who are allergic to leave in school holidays is a boon

Of course it is, and it's lovely when it works out - but that still doesn't mean parents should expect to get priority

As said, it's great that OP's particular manager understands this; I only wish more employers (and more employees) did the same

incontrolofmyownlife · 10/10/2019 15:20

@Northernlurker but it is neither here nor there - the law allows for people to take annual leave in school holidays regardless of whether they have children I'm not saying OP's colleagues will like it, but her boss isn't doing her a favour by authorising that holiday despite her having no children.

I have 2 children and work full time, I have colleagues who have no children and work part time. They're still entitled to time off during school holidays whether it makes my life harder or not - I don't begrudge them it and the Managers don't look for reasons ('volunteering with children') to give them it off, it's their entitlement.

Flip