To give up

[wineconnoisseur]

Breastfeeding.. Had my DD two weeks ago and I'm struggling really bad with breastfeeding. It's like no matter how long she feeds for or how often, she's never satisfied and it's got to the point where I'm feeding her for an hour, having a half an hour break whilst she naps and then she wakes and wants to be fed again for another hour and then in the end I give in and give her a bottle of formula which she will guzzle down and then fall straight to sleep for hours. Giving her a bottle of formula is the only thing that seems to work.. My nipples are so sore from feeding her constantly and I dread her waking up for another feed because it feels so pointless when I've just fed her already for ages! I feel like I'm not producing enough milk. I'm not having to use breast pads because I've not once leaked.. the breast pump only gets about half an oz out of each boob after pumping for nearly an hour.. is this normal? Should it really be this difficult? I just feel like I've not heard of anyone else struggling this hard after 2 weeks..

I so wanted to breastfeed and managed to do so reasonably successfully, from my point of view - her latch was good, she drained each breast and fed well. But... she hated it. She was never relaxed and it was a constant on off. And she didnt gain weight, so I tried her on formula - she was like a different child. Gained weight quickly and by 6 weeks would grab the bottle and hold it herself. She just dropped me!! I reluctantly gave up, cried, etc but she was thriving, so had no choice. You have to do what is right for you both.

OP please stop torturing yourself.

BF is making you and your baby unhappy
Formula is making you happy and settling baby

Don't feel guilty. Breast isn't always best and I wish this wasn't rammed down women's throats when they're feeling so vulnerable!

Do what make you happy OP. A few baby is best be that formula or breast!

OP I believe the best thing for a baby is a relaxed happy mum. Clearly you can’t be that with this struggle. I found breast feeding really painful- and more so with one of my three kids than the other). I switched to formula having combi fed my son at three months. With the benefit of hindsight I wish I hadn’t waited that long. Once I knew he was getting well fed everything fell into place.
And I WISH I could show you my happy, funny, super sporty, smart 9 year old now to show you that there will be so many more decisions you make in your little ones life and that you have to trust your gut.
It’s such a hard time please do the right thing for both of you. Good luck.

Don't feel guilty. Breast isn't always best and I wish this wasn't rammed down women's throats when they're feeling so vulnerable!

Agreed, but at the same time we also shouldn't be ramming 'switch to formula' down women's throats at the the first sign of difficulties. If a woman wishes to breastfeed (and if she doesn't, that's fine) then how will we ever get proper support and information in place if we just go 'oh, put them on bottles'. Formula isn't always the answer, we need better support for women who wish to continue BF. It makes me sad when women give up on BF because they didn't have the support or information to make a proper go of it. If you give up because you don't want to do it or it's not right for you, that's absolutely fine, of course it is, but if you really want to crack it and you give up because there's no support or advice there, that's such a shame.

Is your supply different at different times of day? Or if you give a bottle feed are you then full by next feed?

I found I had plenty in the morning after a few hours rest but by afternoon, and definitely evening, I didn’t have enough.
I started pumping 20 mins after morning feeds and that gave me enough to top up the evening feeds.

TBH 10 days is still early days. My milk came in properly after 3 weeks.

@M0reGinPlease couldn't agree more, I so wanted to breastfeed and really struggled, was determined to persevere and went to support groups etc ran by local HV. They advised trying the rugby hold (great unless you're out in public place as its so exposing!!) ... but when that didn't work that was it. It was other mums who helped me, their support and advice was invaluable and sorted me & bub right out. So glad we persevered.

I did run into numerous issues with relatives, friends etc who any time I dared to say I was having issues at any point (its all on me as bub won't take bottle, sore, tired etc.) they all just told me to give up and go on bottles. Felt so unsupported and it got to a point where I felt I couldn't utter a peep of complaint or voice any issues or struggles without the 'well just go on formula if its hard' being used at every turn. BF isn't for everyone but if you want to persevere, practical advice and emotional support are so critical.

Hi OP

If you think you might be having issues with the latch have you had her assessed for tongue tie? Not by the midwives at the hospital who arent fully trained, but by a qualified tongue tie practitioner?

Both mine had TT, both were given the all clear from the hospital, and after the first time I asked for a second opinion from another midwife who told me there was definitely no issue. They just have a quick look though whereas a qualified practitioner does it mostly by feel etc.

So many of my friends have had the same issue with undiagnosed tongue tie so I'd advise anyone with breastfeeding issues to rule this out

This is really normal. Most breastfed newborns feed constantly, it generally stops when they’re around 6-8 weeks old and their stomachs expand so they can hold more milk. It’s completely normal, it does pass and get easier. Use lansinoh nipple cream, your nipples get used to it after the first few weeks anyway.

Trust me, I’ve breastfed four babies to between 6 and 16 months. They’re all like this in the beginning and it is relentless but it does get much easier.

it takes around 10 days to get the hang of it

Three months. It takes three months to get the hang of it. Stick with it, don't worry too much and in three months it will be as easy as can be.

Three months. It takes three months to get the hang of it.

That was my experience too. At the end of the day, it's as much about your baby as it is about you - you could be doing everything absolutely perfectly, but your baby needs to develop the necessary skills! Nipple shields were a life saver for me - my daughter couldn't latch at all without them - and can also help when you are sore.