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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DD 4yo called me ugly out of nowhere

38 replies

Fedriteup · 09/10/2019 18:44

Just that. Nearly 5. Washing her in bath. ‘Mum you’re ugly’. Me: Do you know what that means? Not nice to look at?. ‘Yes.’ I know she’s tiny but I’m really upset! Old enough to know what is kind and what isn’t. I never had an opinion on my parents looks that I recall. Feel shite.

OP posts:

dontgobaconmyheart · 09/10/2019 19:42

ahh don't worry- she's 4 OP , if she 'meant' it its only in so far as she barely has a concept of what it means and it isn't based on an awful lot - at the end of the day pretty to a four year old is probably a Pixar princess, the facial dimensions of which in real life would be nothing but deformed to the rest of us- I imagine its a shock to hear the words direct is all- it isn't often in life that you get directly told " you are ugly" is it.

I would inform her that that isn't a kind thing to say though, and that she musn't say that to other people, especially if it cropped up on a loop. My nephew is really rude to my DP often as regards his weight and hair loss- drives me up the wall that his parents sit there and awkwardly laugh but don't say anything. He did grow out of it and is very polite and lovely now at 12 but it used to be awful, sounds bad but i'd dread them coming over.

tinyvulture · 09/10/2019 19:46

My dd has told me several times how pretty my boyfriend’s ex wife is, and that he has downgraded to be with me! Thanks, dd! 🤣🤣🤣 She’s only joking (I like to assume).

B00kworm86 · 09/10/2019 19:48

My nephew told me yesterday "Auntie BookWorm, you've got a big fat bum" I told him it was for sitting on my nephews.

FlowersInThePot · 09/10/2019 19:49

Tell her she takes after you

Jent13c · 09/10/2019 19:55

My DS2 is a lot more specific. Currently pregnant and whale like and he said today "mummy you are huge". Then last week I had a dress on, actually felt pretty nice for the first time in 25 weeks and he said "what's that dress mummy? Are you going swimming?" Cheers son

LittleAndOften · 09/10/2019 20:05

My ds3 keeps telling me he doesn't love me. I'm trying very hard to keep it in perspective but it does hurt sometimes so you have my sympathies!

Original poster

Fedriteup · 09/10/2019 21:13

Thanks everyone/you’ve cheered me right up.

OP posts:

Noodledoodledoo · 09/10/2019 22:16

I was taking my nearly 5 year daughter out for a special treat a couple of weeks back, a late night on a school night as a birthday treat!

I was informed as I picked her up from school I had to make sure I put some pretty clothes on and some jewellery! I asked if what I had on wasn't ok and was told no!!!

babbi · 09/10/2019 22:19

I was all dressed up and I thought not looking too shabby one evening and my then 4 yo said I looked like an old hag 😱😂

TanyaChix · 09/10/2019 22:24

At least you weren’t called an ugly smelly poo, like I was Honestly, she’s just testing out the effects of words, same as they do when they call people Mr Wee Wee Pants and Stink Bum.

LemonPrism · 09/10/2019 22:42

She's 4 they do it. She's just pushing boundaries

Dustybun · 09/10/2019 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Skittlesandbeer · 09/10/2019 23:13

My DD’s new little friend asked me if I was her granny. I tried to laugh it off and said ‘Um, no, I’m her mum.’

He looked at me with the perfect sceptical face and said ‘Are you really sure?’

Wish I could say it was like water off an (old) duck’s back, but I did put everything I was wearing in the charity donation bag that night!

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