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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for your interesting and shocking overheard conversation experiences?

320 replies

AlternativePerspective · 09/10/2019 09:38

On a train yesterday.

Three other people several rows in front having a very loud, and very explicit conversation. The girl using the f word like it was punctuation and going on about how when she got money on Friday she would be buying some weed because all she needed was a spliff. Shock then telling one of the blokes to be grateful because “Well I gave you two blowjobs yesterday so shut the fuck up.....”. Shock Shock. Man came by with a bike and one of the blokes shouting out to him that he was stealing his bike. He wasn’t and just ignored the bloke.

They were the types that IMO if you approached them you would be asking for trouble. I was both horrified and amused in equal measure...

I’ve come across all sorts on public transport but these were a revelation even to me. Grin.

So anyone else want to share their overheard conversation stories?

OP posts:
Blibbyblobby · 10/10/2019 20:32

I was on the tube a few hours after work and sitting opposite was a slightly drunk barrister or similar in his robes. An American tourist got into conversation with him and asked about his outfit. He explained he was a prosecutor but she somehow heard it as prostitute! She expressed surprise and a little scepticism so he proudly got out his wig and put it on to prove it :)

stereolovely · 10/10/2019 20:36

Overheard on the train, about 8 years ago, so adjust for inflation - "two adults for a 3d movie, 2 popcorns and 2 drinks, £31 - you could have sex for that in some places." "aye, but you'll not get the popcorn" "sure, and it'll no last 2 hours either"

Greenkit · 10/10/2019 20:37

lol loving these

chrisie16 · 10/10/2019 20:45

I saw it with my own eyes - as opposed to seeing it wiv me sister's, muvver's, et al.
What a silly thing to say. Not you, obviously xx lol xx hilarious x

Mammylamb · 10/10/2019 20:51

Next door neighbors had a few kids between them (and I think different dads/ mums) so it was unusual for them to get a night alone. But when it was “date night” DH and I were always chuckling that we’d need the ear plugs.

You could hear them very loudly shagging. Afterwards my husband gave a wee cough, and then we heard them giggling as they realised we could hear them.

iklboo · 10/10/2019 20:52

In hospital after having DS, queuing for lunch. The lady in front asked if there were any vegetarian meals left. Server said:

'Sorry love, they've all gone. I've got a halal lamb curry if that's any good?'

MayorMumbum · 10/10/2019 20:54

In hospital years ago getting a cut stitched up, I overheard the woman in the cubicle next to me begging her nurse not to tell her husband (who was in the waiting room I think) that she had HIV. That they'd been married for years and she had never told him.
I always wondered what the nurse would have had to do in that situation.

flyingspaghettimonster · 10/10/2019 21:08

Once on a bus through Brixton some teen girls got on and were having a loud discussion ablut how they planned on beating the shit out of some poor girl from their school because she had been chatting to the ring leader's boyfriend. Details including which bus stop to get off and the alley way they could run away down and cut through an aunt's house to avoid getting caught. I wanted to follow them to figure which school they were from to report it, but I had my baby with me and they were so scary... and I honestly didn't have anything concrete to report... no names, not enough details. I hope they didn't go through with it. Horrible kids.

Mariamaria71 · 10/10/2019 21:17

On a bus on the way to college one morning. 2 teenagers behind me loudly talking about how one of them had 'accidently' lost her virginity the night before. Apparently she was fooling around with her bf and they didn't realise it had slipped in! I didn't know whether to feel more sorry for her or her boyfriend!

SchadenfreudePersonified · 10/10/2019 21:19

I ever heard was the young man explaining to his friends how he’d attempted to pierce his own ear. He’d got a carpet tack and a hammer, put his earlobe against the wooden bed head and hammered the tack in.

You mean there's another way?

strongteawith2sugars · 10/10/2019 21:28

Funniest thing I heard was a woman speaking with her partner to her parents in law.

They both travel a lot, constantly in other countries.

Randomly (no idea why) they asked where baby had been conceived.

The women replied ‘the dining table’ 🤣🤣

They meant what country!!

iklboo · 10/10/2019 21:38

@SchadenfreudePersonified - of course there's another way! I stood on the school playing field during the javelin competition to get mine done Grin

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 10/10/2019 21:38

BarkandCheese... hammered his ear to the bed and had to call for his mum to help...

That is the funniest thing I've read in ages. Grin

Fuckenstein · 10/10/2019 21:54

I love this thread. I wish I were billingual, I would love to catch out the rude people.

Doilooklikeatourist · 10/10/2019 21:55

On a train last week , luckily across the aisle and not next to me
Woman ( 40s? ) I’ve just been to an eco activity camp
Older woman ( politely ) oh how interesting
W continues in great detail how they thanked the world for the greatness and wept together for the damage we’ve all done to it
OW I’ve just been to a church leaders meeting
W I’m an atheist ( then in long detail said how the Nativity story revolted her , God raped Mary , forced her to give birth in danger etc )
OW oh , goodness
W more long self indulgent drivel about how wonderful her Eco activity is
Luckily for the OW she changed trains after about an hour and I got off at the same stop
I wonder if she just waited on the platform for the next train to avoid any more lecturing

Proseccoagain · 10/10/2019 22:14

DH and I living abroad at the time, in a restaurant having lunch. Older coup!e came in, chatted away in perfect English, then the husband ordered their meal in English. The wife then said something in the local language to the waiter, who went away looking slightly shocked.
The couple chuckled, then noticing us looking bemused explained that the wife had told the waiter not to give them any of that crap food they give the tourists. She was a local, and her husband was English.

carlywurly · 10/10/2019 22:29

Had to take ds to a and e the other day. Sat on a bench outside the waiting room to eat my packed lunch (was prepared for the long haul) and a chap with some clear walking difficulties struggled past me on crutches several times on his way to various x Ray rooms. He spoke to me every time he passed. Mainly about what I was eating.

He eventually came out of x Ray and sat down with me, we got into conversation about why he was there and this quickly led to him hoiking up his trousers and showing me the scar from when he'd once attempted to cut off his own leg with a chainsaw.

I'm not easily fazed and we ended up just chatting for ages. He was lovely. When he left, I noticed that people nearby were looking at me like this Shock

BlueJava · 10/10/2019 22:32

I was really early for a flight from Beijing airport and whilst sitting in the corner behond some large plants (so hidden) i became aware of a Chinese woman trying to extort several thousand yuan out of an American guy. He had been shagging her, tried to dump her and go back to his wife in the US. She was threatening to tell his wife whilst he was flying back unless he paid. Would love to knoe how that played out!

Whycantibeapuppy · 10/10/2019 22:39

Lovely neighbours who would not be out of place on JK (constant arguments, really loud sex with the windows open etc) split up. Girl has new boyfriend and old boyfriend cake round going mad shouting and banging on the door...favourite line was ‘you know she’s got herpes right’ every neighbour on our quiet culdesac heard that. Poor girl

carlywurly · 10/10/2019 22:39

Just remembered the other bit from the a and e story. He was telling me about his partners xh who had taken her for a country walk to a local lake in her wheelchair, then tipped her out and left her there.

In fairness, it must have been quite the conversation to overhear.

Dp likes to mouth things at us all while the blender is on and then cut straight to "and that's why I killed her" or the like, when the noise stops.

joinedjustfordw · 10/10/2019 22:43

Span1elsRock I could be a bit late but why don’t you report her? No point waiting for someone else to do it especially if you’re (rightfully) so upset by its

Edda09 · 10/10/2019 22:52

@WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll
Even more history to it, the stew, and name, came over with Norwegian sailors. It’s called lapskaus in Norway. 😀 Yum!

OneSliceIsNeverEnough · 10/10/2019 23:01

A girl at the toby carvery asked the waitress for a wine with soda.

The waitress asked her what colour wine.

The girl found this hilarious and recounted it to her friend as though the waitress was stupid- who drinks red wine with soda?!

Well, the Spanish.... a simpler and less touristy sangria

thekarmabus · 10/10/2019 23:02

.

Shefliesonherownwings · 10/10/2019 23:06

I'm pregnant and a couple of months ago went for a Glucose Tolerance Test at the local hospital. You have a blood test, drink a sugary drink then wait for 2 hours before your blood is taken again to check your glucose levels.

I was on my own but there was another woman who was also having the test, who was with a friend. They spent pretty much the whole two hours talking about various friends and friends partners who were in prison, including for rape and sexual assault. Then as we were coming up to the 2 hours she kept saying 'oh c'mon, it must be two hours now, I'm dying for a cig'. Her friend then agreed and said 'yeah me too, soon as we get out we'll have one'.

Even if she wasnt aware of the very well known adverse effects of smoking whilst pregnant, we were sat facing a huge 6 foot sign all about the dangers of smoking whilst pregnant and how to access help to give up. I was Shock the whole time.