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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think we should be able to move house whilst pregnant?

35 replies

DisneyMadeMeDoIt · 09/10/2019 08:57

DH and I want to move, it seemed straight forward UNTIL I fell pregnant. Suddenly the mortgage company want THE WORLD.

I can provide maternity pay details and my due date but they want written confirmation of maternity leave/return dates and how many hours I will return on!

I was 8 weeks when they asked for this and (rightly so) my company HR said ‘ridiculous’ to putting that in writing so early on. It’s not something they CAN provide yet. They’ll do it in line with HR/GOV timeframes and IF I do go PT it won’t be confirmed until I’m almost returning from mat leave! So we’re stuck until then.

I work in finance and understand the need to evidence ability to repay/ responsible lending. However, I have a FT job and at the end of maternity I will STILL have a FT job. Going PT is an assumption they seem to be making 🤔 based on my pregnancy.

Regardless of pregnancy I could get a mortgage and then decide to drop hours at work! Child free friends of ours recently did this, got a mortgage on FT salary then dropped to 4 days each, and had no repercussions!

We are lucky enough to have free childcare in place so that’s not an expense and DH and I are very financially responsible (high credit scores, excellent financial record - including with this mortgage company... and no debt) whatever choices we made would be in line with what we could afford at the time.

AIBU to feel like we’re being sort of ‘blocked’ from moving house simply because I’m pregnant? I’m just a bit miffed 😔

OP posts:
Original poster
DisneyMadeMeDoIt · 09/10/2019 08:59
  • Just to clarify we’ve been with this mortgage company for 5 years already and want to move home (so it’s not a first time mortgage application)
OP posts:
lakequeen · 09/10/2019 09:00

You shouldn't have told them..

Robs20 · 09/10/2019 09:01

Yep agree. Next time don’t tell them. I am 8 weeks pregnant and we’ve just had an offer accepted on a house. I won’t be telling the mortgage co...

Hahaha88 · 09/10/2019 09:01

I mean you don't have to tell them. Can you go with another provider and just not tell them

Original poster
DisneyMadeMeDoIt · 09/10/2019 09:02

@lakequeen
I wouldn’t have but they asked if we had any children/were expecting any 🙈 and I was already being treated by my GP for Sickness so there was a paper trail. They could have proven we lied - had to be honest

OP posts:
museumum · 09/10/2019 09:03

Just tell them you intend to return full time.
That’s a perfectly reasonable intention.
Things change - but that’s not their business after the fact. Right now tell them you intend to work full time.

ItsOnlyBloodyBread · 09/10/2019 09:04

They wouldn't have requested your medical records. You definitely shouldn't have told them.

AlexaAmbidextra · 09/10/2019 09:06

Why on earth did you tell them?

AlexaAmbidextra · 09/10/2019 09:06

Sorry, Cross-posted.

Amanduh · 09/10/2019 09:07

Yeah, you shouldn’t have told them. They can’t access your medical records. You’re only 8 weeks.

Jollitwiglet · 09/10/2019 09:09

I moved when pregnant. My company provided a letter saying something along the lines of 'jollitwiglet currently has a full time contract working x hours with a salary of xx. She is expected to return x date' I did in fact drop my hours on return to work but at the time they requested the letter HR would only provide them with factual information they had available at the time. And at the time I was still on a full time contract

NearlyGranny · 09/10/2019 09:10

Go back to HR and explain your house purchase is held up for want of a bit of paper from them. Yes, it's ridiculous, but can they please oblige and unblock the jam for you?

Worth a try?

Original poster
DisneyMadeMeDoIt · 09/10/2019 09:13

Damn it! I had a feeling we shouldn’t have but DH gets anxious lying and fretted we’d be ‘caught out’ think we’re a bit too straight laced for our own good.

This has been going on for weeks and I’m now 15 weeks, so not sure I can get away with going to a different lender and not saying anything now.

It just frustrates me that they seem to assume I’ll go PT and are reluctant to accept otherwise. They’re also reluctant to accept free childcare from grandparents 🤔

OP posts:
LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 09/10/2019 09:15

Agree you shouldn't have told them, our fixed term came to an end while I was pregnant and we used our IFA to get a new deal, he must've thought it strange that he didn't see me at all this time and DH dropped off all the paperwork, he agreed to e-signature from me as he's met me plenty before and I could provide all the up to date documents, we just said I was working away a lot. The mortgage company can't ask to see your medical records! It's essentially discrimination because they are assuming a woman will forego her career because she's had a baby. I bet no one has asked if your husband will be working full time after your maternity leave. I felt comfortable doing this because I knew I'd be going back full time so the affordability questions were all accurate. Our IFA didn't explicitly ask either.

Teacakeandalatte · 09/10/2019 09:17

I'd give it a try with different lender just to spite them for being so difficult.

june2007 · 09/10/2019 09:19

Well I got a mortgage when pregnant and my oh was unemployed at the time. Baby was born on the day we mooved. So it is possible.

Original poster
DisneyMadeMeDoIt · 09/10/2019 09:24

@LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook

NOT ONCE did they ask if my DH would be returning FT, or whether he’d be taking shared parental leave (which he is and unlike me does not get full pay for his share!)

They did ‘helpfully’ suggest that since my DH is the ‘main’ earner they could simply not take my wage into account - which would make it ‘much simpler’ not having to account for childcare costs (obvs my responsibility) and other child related expenses 🙄

  • very helpful of them. Unfortunately DH and I are not moving to the 50’s

😂

OP posts:
LouLouLoupee · 09/10/2019 09:34

With an attitude like that I’d direct them towards the protected characteristics and ask if they wanted to reconsider their offer or release me from my current deal so I can go elsewhere. Wouldn’t be giving them another penny if I could help it!

Original poster
DisneyMadeMeDoIt · 09/10/2019 09:41

@LouLou

I wasn’t pleased actually got a bit upset after
the call but was emotional anyway due to extreme stickiness 🤢 (it’s just about stopped now thank god)

But they’re a ‘really good’ provider, one that are very popular and actually do think one of the best on the market for us. We chose them initially as they offer things others didn’t. I was just taken a back by the change in attitude once they knew I was pregnant

OP posts:
kenandbarbie · 09/10/2019 09:41

Just go to a different lender and say nothing. They can't check your medical records. It's not insurance, it's not invalid if you don't say you're pregnant.

Or get hr to write a letter saying you're on a permanent full time contract and are intending to return on x date. My hr usually got me to draft the letter myself then they signed it off. It's not a contract, you don't actually have to go back full time if you do that.

MintyMabel · 09/10/2019 09:45

Is the mortgage affordable if you drop your hours? That’s what they are trying to work out.

If it is, there shouldn’t be a problem with providing the info based on that. If they don’t accept it, start with another provider.

I agree, it seems pretty discriminatory. Would they ask to see the health records of a male employee in case they go on long term sick? Have you pointed this out to them?

Veganmedic · 09/10/2019 09:54

Another vote for not telling them although obviously bit late now. We are moving, am currently 6 months pregnant, started the ball rolling on mortgage agreements when I was about 3 months. I disclosed to my broker the pregnancy and he said they cannot ask if you are pregnant as it’s discriminatory, only relevant information is children already born. We based our affordability calculations on my anticipated reduced salary but just sent normal wage slips to the mortgage people. The only caveat is, if you end up having baby before the move you would then have to disclose a new child which would cause issues having to redo all the financial evidence last minute. So if you are early on not telling is fine. Can you approach a new lender instead or even better a broker who can base calculations on mat leave pay if needed?

MintyMabel · 09/10/2019 09:56

They did ‘helpfully’ suggest that since my DH is the ‘main’ earner they could simply not take my wage into account - which would make it ‘much simpler’ not having to account for childcare costs (obvs my responsibility) and other child related expenses

If that’s a solution, and you want to stay with this lender, why not just do it? You can always write to complain about their outdated practices but to refuse to do it on principle is surely cutting off your nose to spite your face.

We had an issue where the mortgage provider spotted DD’s DLA in as part of our income when they saw our bank statement. Our mortgage is well affordable without it and as it is her money, not ours, there was no need to declare it as income. They then wanted all sorts of medical paperwork to prove her disability and that she was a long term recipient. We told them they weren’t getting it but they refused. Eventually they accepted her proof of receipt letter. We could have dug our heels in and slowed the process even more but we chose to give them the letter. We then lodged a formal complaint with them and they came back agreeing their advisor had made a mistake and shouldn’t have done what he did. They waived the fee because of it.

stucknoue · 09/10/2019 09:57

If your dh has sufficient income they can disregard your salary, it's still in joint names, it's just they do the multiple/affordability on his sole income. It's also a safer way for you to ensure affordability, nursery is very expensive, plus not everyone wants to return full time (even though they thought they wanted to at 15 weeks, it might be your dh who goes pt ). Swallow your pride on the calculations and get the house

Kanga83 · 09/10/2019 09:58

Ah next time don't tell them! We moved when I was 36 weeks pregnant and we didn't tell them. I've not gone back to work so it's a whack for the mortgage but I asked this same question and was told not to disclose.