He hurt me several times with his behaviour. He tried to be unfaithful a few times and I found out. As far as I know, he wasn’t successful, but he did try. He thinks it’s ‘ok’ because nothing ever happened.
Fast forward to a few months ago. I was in a very bad place. I felt invisible and worthless in the relationship(wedding was booked and we were working hard to pay for it). He assumes that because we had a wedding booked, that was enough and I should have just known how he felt about me, even though he rarely showed it. I felt like a cook, cleaner and a single parent.
I kissed someone I met in work and told him straight away. I wanted the relationship over. I also wanted to hurt him so he finally knew what it felt like to have your heart ripped out of your chest.
He was devastated. The relationship was over but I had to stay living with him as I didn’t have anywhere else to go. In the 7 weeks we still shared a house, he became the person I’d wanted him to be all along. He talked to me rather than at me, he was coming to all the children’s school presentations, even picking them up from school, which he hardly ever did as he was always working. He suddenly had time for me and the kids. It was nice. We spent time together again. Nothing sexual happened until the night before I moved out.
So, I left. I’m renting a house in the same town. We started dating each other again after I left. I wanted the relationship back. So did he. But I felt a bit used at times. I put a stop to this and now we’re nothing.
I go from being blissfully happy with my new life, new freedom, independence, to being desperate to have him back.
Do I want him back though?? It’s driving me to despair trying to work out what I want!