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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be frightened

40 replies

Seablueeyes · 08/10/2019 22:16

I was the victim of road rage today. Someone pulled out sharply as I was driving along a busy road- I beeped my horn to alert them I was there and then drove round them.

I realise I should have probably slowed down to let them out but there we go, I didn’t.

They proceeded to tailgate me for a good few minutes beeping, swearing and driving so close to my bumper. It was quite frightening. They then obviously got bored and drove off.

My car is parked in front of my house 5-10 minutes drive away from where it happened.

I feel frightened that they’ll see it and break in and hurt me or my son. I do t know if they can find my address using my number plate.

Am I being completely over the top? What can I do? I didn’t get their number plate as it was only me and my baby son in the car and I was concentrating on driving.

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 08/10/2019 22:22

Yes you’re being OTT. You were the initial aggressive driver, should they be worried about you too? No of course not. It was a momentary bit of road rage, over and done with now.

DeepDarkWoods · 08/10/2019 22:23

They have probably forgotten about it now.

Icyblonde · 08/10/2019 22:32

I doubt that they are going to come after you.

It sounds like you beeped at them because you got angry rather than to alert them you were there. You were both in the wrong.

I will never understand why people get so angry and aggressive in their vehicles, driving around beeping at each other.

Bringmewineandcake · 08/10/2019 22:35

How was the OP aggressive?
The other driver was completely in the wrong and then compounded it with the idiotic stunt afterwards.
It's highly unlikely they got your number tho, OP. They reacted in the moment and probably wouldn't think to intimate you after the initial incident.

Bringmewineandcake · 08/10/2019 22:36

Intimidate...sorry.

Casmama · 08/10/2019 22:40

If they were going to do something they would have done it this morning.
Think about how many houses would be in a 5-10 minute radius from where it happened - probably loads.
They sound like a bit of an arsehole but I'm sure were satisfied with the tailgating so i wouldn't worry

Original poster
Seablueeyes · 08/10/2019 22:41

Obviously I know that everyone has different opinions, but I genuinely didn’t beep because I got angry. I don’t get road rage and I think I’ve maybe used my horn twice in total this entire year when I’ve been worried that there could be an accident. I saw the car pulling out, I was going at 30mph and didn’t think they saw me. Again, I’m aware I could have slowed down but my split second decision was to go round them as the other side of the road was clear.

Sense is telling me they’ve forgotten but I think it just shook me up. I’ve never been followed like that before.

OP posts:
Branster · 08/10/2019 22:47

You are over thinking this.
If they were going to do something in anger, they would have done it there and then.
Road rage is instant not planned. I expect you’re not the first car they though cut them off or didn’t let them go first.
Unless you both belong to competing criminal gangs, nothing will come off it in the way to envisage.

Original poster
Seablueeyes · 08/10/2019 22:51

I certainly don’t belong to a criminal gang 😂 that made me laugh!

OP posts:
Dollymixture22 · 08/10/2019 22:53

They won’t come after you. They had initial rage, and probably saw your beeping and driving round them as a aggressive act.

They will have moved on to the next hing that irritates them by now.

Short fuses tend to burn out quickly.

Majorcollywobble · 08/10/2019 22:55

You did nothing wrong . Had you slammed your brakes on to let them enter the flow of traffic another vehicle could have hit you from the rear .
There is no way the other driver can discover your details from your number plate without wrongful access to DVLC records so put your fears aside . It was an isolated incident for you and for the other bad driver maybe a daily occurrence and they will have long forgotten it . It’s impacted on you so badly as you had your child in the car which made you feel very vulnerable .

Notthetoothfairy · 08/10/2019 22:56

It was a man, wasn’t it? (Bet he wouldn’t have dreamt of doing that to another man). No, if he was that psycho, he would have followed you home, just have a nice glass of Wine and forget about it now.

Dollymixture22 · 08/10/2019 23:07

It usually is a man😊

I changed lanes last week, perfectly in line with the Highway Code and a man sitting at a junction Hung out of his car and made a very aggressive wanker gesture. I did absolutely nothing wrong.

I slowed down and laughed at him.

pallisers · 08/10/2019 23:11

This is quite funny

OP
I beeped my horn to alert them I was there and then drove round them

PP
It sounds like you beeped at them because you got angry rather than to alert them you were there.

They'll have forgotten about it OP. People get incredibly angry on the road. Best thing to do is ignore.

springydaff · 09/10/2019 00:02

I've had a road rage incident and it frightened me very much indeed. It is terrifying.

So I understand you feeling frightened and unsettled. I actually called the police while I was driving I was that frightened - shaking! - and burst into tears. The police were brilliant They told me to go to a petrol station bcs CCTV will record the bastard.

You'll get over this but not straight away. Go easy on yourself. They won't know where you live - but I do understand the fear of it 🏵️🌷🌹

user764329056 · 09/10/2019 00:04

It’s always men that do this to women drivers, dickheads

Try to relax OP, the idiot will have forgotten all about it by now

VenusTiger · 09/10/2019 00:15

Op, been victim twice. Been driving for 20 hrs - first time, car followed me into Tesco and whilst I was shopping, he keyed all around my car!! Stupid Tesco’s said they didn’t have any footage from cctv!! I was shaking like a leaf!
Second time was recently, before the summer, big 4x4, blacked out windows followed me right up my arse for 10 mins or so and when I neared home I turned off as I didn’t want them to know where I lived. I asked my son who was in his seat in the back to wave his arms around (he didn’t know I was being followed) and the car backed off.
Point is, if they were going to do something, they would do it there and then, it’s called red mist. By now, they’ll have calmed down and probably feeling embarrassed that they acted the way they did!
Stop worrying yourself and get some cctv in your car if you think you need it.

VenusTiger · 09/10/2019 00:17

*years! Not hours! Ffs stupid bloody autocorrect Hmm

giantwatermelon · 09/10/2019 00:17

@VenusTiger what the hell happened to get that type of road rage, I'm
Intrigued?

@Seablueeyes don't worry. It was just a misunderstanding and I'm sure they've forgotten about it now. I don't get road rage in general. Arrive alive is my motto.

Original poster
Seablueeyes · 09/10/2019 01:27

Thankyou all for your reassurance. It was a man with what looked like two more male passengers.

It was scary and think that’s why I’m still thinking about it. I don’t know why some people react like that.

@VenusTiger and @springydaff

OP posts:
Original poster
Seablueeyes · 09/10/2019 01:29

Oops!

@VenusTiger and @springydaff, both of your experiences sound scary too. It’s the being followed that’s horrible- you feel under attack and vulnerable. Can’t believe he keyed your car.

OP posts:
Toodeloo · 09/10/2019 06:57

Happened to me, too. I drove right to the closest police station (only into their car park) - the look on the guy’s face when I indicated to turn in there. Priceless :-)

Dollymixture22 · 09/10/2019 07:45

I have found flicking on my hazard lights will often make someone who is driving too close back off. It’s like a little reminder they are doing something dangerous, and it gets the attention of other drivers,

BlackeyedGruesome · 09/10/2019 07:53

Listen lovely, you did well to avoid a collision. They were twats, they are going to have a shit life being so angry all the time.

By tomorrow your reaction will be wearing off. It is normal to feel as you do.

Honestly these guys are going to have been twats so often that they are not going to remember everyone they have intimidated.

Also, you kept the most important thing safe,byou and baby. Your car is precious to you, but is just a car and can be replaced.

BlackeyedGruesome · 09/10/2019 07:58

I beeped an artic that was about to pull out of a roundabout in front of me. He pulled out behind me and beeped loudly, now I hat is scary. If you look across the top of my car you can see I have two lumps sticking up. Inside the car are two pinkish bodysuits.... this is where DD and I jumped out of our skins hitting the ceiling!!!