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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Harvest festival.. expected to take more in. Surely not??

26 replies

GADA9215 · 08/10/2019 20:22

Hi all, DC’s school is holding a harvest festival this week, for the local food bank. I always donate a few items. This year they sent a letter home late last week and they were asking for specific items such as uht milk, tinned meat and fish, toilet roll, washing powder, cleaning products, toiletries etc.

I had already bought a few bits before the list was sent out. I get my shopping delivered once a week so I ordered some bits In in my last shop knowing the festival was coming up.

Today I sent Dc in with two cartons of uht milk, fruit juice, jam and some tins. Seemed okay to me.

DS is coming home saying he has to take more in! I’m not sure if he is just confused. But he told my that his teacher told him he had to take in toilet roll, washing powder etc.

This won’t be happening as it’s late and no shops at open where I live past and I cannot travel as Oh is working til late.

I’m not even sure my budget would stretch to buying things like Toilet roll, washing powder, shampoo for the food bank this month. We are on a tight budget atm due to a very heavy financial few months so I spent around £3 on a few items (uht milk was one of the things on their list anyway and we took that in).

Aibu?

OP posts:
EskewedBeef · 08/10/2019 20:24

The teacher had probably just spoken about the need for those items, in the hope that the children who haven't yet taken anything in might be able to bring some of those things. I doubt she'll have asked those who've already given to bring more in, that isn't how it works.

Theimpossiblegirl · 08/10/2019 20:24

I'm hoping he has got the wrong end of the stick, I can't imagine a school expecting all of that from one family.

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 08/10/2019 20:25

YANBU - you have made a donation to the harvest festival as requested. The matter is now closed. If your son mentions it again, remain him you already donated and quickly change the subject to Halloween/Fireworks plans.

Oriunda · 08/10/2019 21:21

I suspect that each class has been asked to bring in certain items to endure that there’s not a million tins of baked beans and nothing else. DS school does this. As you’ve already bought your items just ignore it.

WorraLiberty · 08/10/2019 21:23

YABU to start a thread asking if you're being unreasonable when you've already said... I’m not sure if he is just confused. But he told my that his teacher told him he had to take in toilet roll, washing powder etc.

Just find out.

formerbabe · 08/10/2019 21:52

We are on a tight budget atm due to a very heavy financial few months

This is why these charity collections often run by schools really piss me off. The irony of asking cash strapped parents to donate to a food bank ffs. How do they know if parents are rolling in money, fairly comfortable, on a tight budget or living in poverty? Some of these parents could be the people who need food banks. Donation should be strictly optional with no pressure. Anyway, hopefully your ds got his wires crossed somewhere...if not, tell them to fuck off in politer language!

saraclara · 08/10/2019 22:15

I'm 99% certain he's misunderstood. The whole class was probably told that the collection was short of washing powder etc. It will have been aimed at those who might not have brought anything yet.
In any school I've worked in, your contribution would have been generous.

raspberryk · 08/10/2019 22:18

Very unlikely you have been asked to donate more, it is probably a reminder to those who haven't donated and letting them know which items are most needed.
I only found out about our collection last minute last year and we luckily have emergency supplies in for if I am ill and can't get out, so I raided it for a bag of uht, value pasta and sauce, tins of beans, tuna, potatoes, sweetcorn etc etc and felt bad that it was all very basic and wasn't very much in value. The teacher was completely overwhelmed and said most people only brought 1 tin and was I sure it was OK to give so much. I highly doubt they would ask for more than you already gave.

MrsLJ2014 · 08/10/2019 22:25

As a teacher I don't even keep track of who brings in what - anything sent in is gratefully received and sent with the child to the hall display for the harvest assemblies before being sent to that year's charity. The teacher was probably just doing a general reminder. We know some families can send lots, some a bit and some nothing.

BritWifeinUSA · 08/10/2019 22:40

I’m not surprised that toilet paper and washing powder haven’t been donated yet. They are expensive items (especially washing power) and not everyone can afford to donate a box of Ariel. Surely any donation is more than they had beforehand?

Although at my niece’s school one family donated 4 cans of lager when the teacher sent a letter asking for “canned goods”.

Cherrysoup · 08/10/2019 23:01

Although at my niece’s school one family donated 4 cans of lager when the teacher sent a letter asking for “canned goods

😂 brilliant!! I only took in one big jar of French mustard a mate fetched over for me (massive bag of shopping, all my favourites bar this mustard, which I hate!) Thing is, it’s a very well off school, some parents donate hundreds of items. If it’s not an obviously well off school, teachers shouldn’t be asking for more.

BeBesideTheSea · 08/10/2019 23:17

I am impressed by your organisation. I had to go through cupboard to find some tins that were not out of date! (I am happy to eat out of date tins, but am not sending them to a food bank). Was a v random selection Grin

ElizaDee · 08/10/2019 23:29

You've done better than my primary school, everyone went through their cupboards and sent in whatever was out of date. In our nicely decorated baskets.

Schuyler · 08/10/2019 23:32

YABU to start a thread when it’s more than likely you’re son misheard the message. I doubt this was the case but if it was, that’s a different story.

Leeds2 · 08/10/2019 23:39

You have donated more than enough, OP and I would agree with previous PPs that DS has got the wrong end of the stick!

Fwiw, I volunteer for a charity who receive harvest festival donations. I had to sort some today, and there were quite a few Heinz products with an expiry date of October 2019, presumably resulting from a last minute search through the cupboards! I hope my charity can find a home for these, but please don't donate stuff you know is out of date - we can't distribute it, so it just gets binned.

Rachelover60 · 09/10/2019 00:23

it's not the end of October yet, the goods will still be alright for another three weeks.

JollyHolly30 · 09/10/2019 02:26

Positive your DC must have got the wrong end of the stick. If you're worried for whatever reason - as you certainly shouldn't be, a quick email to the teacher will put your mind at ease.

Monty27 · 09/10/2019 02:29

He's probably misunderstood. Id leave things as they are. Explain to DS of course.

shearwater · 09/10/2019 03:14

it's not the end of October yet, the goods will still be alright for another three weeks

Exactly! More likely to be used now donated than it was sitting at the back of someone's cupboard.

ElizaDee · 09/10/2019 08:38

@Leeds2 That will be a best before date, not a use by date. Food banks shouldn't be wasting perfectly good food, no one should. Tins last years and years past their BB date as long as they aren't damaged.

KUGA · 09/10/2019 09:10

Wheres the Harvest Festival idea gone ?. Its supposed to be about fresh food ,veg/salad/fruit etc.
Not food bank items,if that`s what the school want they should have a food bank day.

ineedaholidaynow · 09/10/2019 09:18

But where does the fresh food go? Surely better that food is used for a good purpose and not wasted.

DS queried why I sent him in with shower gel as well as a food tin, as not related to a harvest. So we had a chat why foodbanks provide other things than just food.

Ragwort · 09/10/2019 09:24

I am sure he misunderstood, I help at a Food Bank & we get inundated with donations from schools at the time of year (far too much at once if I am being honest, no space to store it). Just ignore it, you have sent in a couple of items, that is more than enough. We do send a ‘suggested list’ to schools, just to try and avoid the inevitable pasta & tinned pulses mountain Grin. But most people ignore it and send what they feel people using food banks ‘ought’ to eat.

Ragwort · 09/10/2019 09:25

KUGA, that is a very out dated view of Harvest celebrations, most schools & churches ask for tinned goods for local Food Banks. We do accept fresh food but few people actually want it Sad.

stillhavenoidea · 09/10/2019 09:30

@ElizaDee I don't know about every foodbank of course but the one I volunteer at is not allowed to give out stuff past a best before. We can offer it separately (if it is just a best before and not a use by) but as a kind of 'bonus' item and have to make the date very clear. It absolutely can't be put in someone's food parcel.

We're lucky in that we have an organisation close by that will collect the stuff past used by and put it to good use but not every foodbank does.

Please can everyone stop with the 'beggars can't be choosers' crap? Even people relying on foodbanks deserve some decent food and a choice