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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed at this teacher?

27 replies

Buddha123 · 08/10/2019 17:06

My 12 year old DS is in 1st year of secondary and today came home a bit upset because of a teacher. So basically there was a boy missing in the class who was to bring in some items for a group that my DS was part of. The teacher asked my son what was this other boy to bring in, so my DS started to explain but because he was slow in explaining to her, she started to mimic him-speaking in the slow way he was talking so then he stopped talking, then she told him to 'get on with it' (as in his explanation) . My other DS his twin is in the same class and he also said that's exactly what happened. The general consensus I gather is that the class don't like her which generally I wouldn't pass any notice of as there was loads of teachers I didn't like at school. But my DS felt belittled in front of others, background to my son is that we spent the last 2 years of primary doing CBT with him as he suffered from anxiety but thankfully is going great over the last 6 months or more. He's a quiet child generally and takes everything to heart. Should I pull the teacher up on this at a parent teacher meeting or leave it for now and hope it was a one off from her. I know it's not a major thing but in my job I wouldn't mimic someone if they were talking slow so why should a teacher do it to a pupil?

OP posts:

KatyCarrCan · 08/10/2019 17:10

I'd mention it. In a 'you thought DS was slow giving an explanation but just to make you aware he suffers from anxiety, etc'. It lets her tell you what happened (in case her version is different from your DTs) and lets her know that you know she mimicked him without directing having to address it.

Birch67 · 08/10/2019 17:40

This isn't ok and you are right that you certainly wouldn't treat another adult like this. The teacher sounds extremely emotionally immature which would be my main concern. I like the idea above of mentioning it indirectly so they know you know. Then if it something similar happens again I would go in with my full story and be asking what can be done to improve the atmosphere.

73Sunglasslover · 08/10/2019 17:49

That's disgusting behaviour. I'm not surprised you're cross. I'd make a formal complaint if it were me.

lemonloaf · 08/10/2019 17:51

YANBU and id be straight in for a meeting with her and head of year/tutor

Mrsthomasshelby1 · 08/10/2019 17:53

I would send an email to the school, YANBU

IncrediblySadToo · 08/10/2019 17:54

Bitch.

Head Teacher needs to be told.

That’s horrible whether a child suffers from anxiety or not and I’m not precious! I’m normally the one defending teachers teasing/calling them daft etc

AufderAutobahn · 08/10/2019 17:55

I wouldn't leave it. I was a very quiet and anxious child and if a teacher did this, it would have upset me to the point where I would have avoided speaking to them at all. This could impact future learning. You at least need to get an explanation for this from the teacher and escalate it if needed, this is absolutely not OK.

BedraggledBlitz · 08/10/2019 17:58

I'd complain now. She sounds like a bully.

Drogosnextwife · 08/10/2019 18:03

It doesn't matter what your ds has suffered with in the past, she has no right to belittle and embarrass your child like that. I'm having the same problem with my ds at the moment. He seems to be having problems with a teacher he gets once a week. Apparently she has singled out a few of the kids to pick on, including an autistic child. It's not ok, I would complain. Couldn't care less how bad her day is going, it does not give her the right to belittle a child.

firawla · 08/10/2019 18:03

I’d complain about that, it’s bullying behaviour. If a child did that to another they would expect to be told off. I’m not really a complainer, but wouldn’t be happy with this! That’s a horrible way to treat a student especially a new year 7.

Redspider1 · 08/10/2019 18:08

Problem is with these things is it’s all about context, tone, facial expression. When you didn’t witness it how can you be sure? I’d try to build resilience in your son rather than challenging a minor thing.

Redspider1 · 08/10/2019 18:10

It’s not bullying. Bullying is repetitive negative behaviour towards a child over a period of time.

BeanBag7 · 08/10/2019 18:14

Ask your child if he wants you to raise it with the teacher, if he is anxious he might not want you to make him more of a target. If he is happy for you to do so, I would definitely raise it with her or the head of department.

FrancisCrawford · 08/10/2019 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rachelover60 · 08/10/2019 18:39

The teacher was wrong to mimic your son, I would say something to her about it.

Yummymummy2020 · 08/10/2019 18:52

I’d be livid over this one!!! Very unprofessional of the teacher and you would not be at all unreasonable having a word. I wouldn’t be up at the school for every little thing by any means but to me that’s a perfectly valid reason to go up there.

BoneyBackJefferson · 08/10/2019 19:07

If you are going to report this you either need to go through senco, talk to the teacher or possibly form tutor.

If you ignore the process it will just make it a much longer process.

Ispini · 08/10/2019 19:29

That is so unprofessional and frankly outrageous! Please explain how you feel to your son so that he is reassured that she was in the wrong. I have over 20 years experience and can say I’ve never heard a teacher being so awful.
Your poor boy, keep encouraging him. 💐

CAG12 · 08/10/2019 19:32

Christ this teacher needs to be told her mistake so she doesnt do it to any of the other kids.

Im 33 and remember when I was 14 and belittled by my French teacher in front of the entire class. She was a twat.

Chloemol · 08/10/2019 19:47

I wouldn’t be leaving it to a parent evening, until she is told the issues she is likely to continue. I would be talking to the hoy

Original poster

Buddha123 · 08/10/2019 20:17

Thank you all for your replies. I will contact the Head teacher regarding this. The parent/teacher meeting isn't for ages yet so no point in waiting that long. I'm not precious about my children and if they do something wrong they take ownership of it, but my DS felt like he was made a fool of. I know there are 2 sides but my other DS2 is in the same class so he witnessed it. I asked him on his own what happened and he told me the same thing so DS1 had not picked it up wrong.

OP posts:

Original poster

Buddha123 · 08/10/2019 20:25

My ds's also told this evening that she speaks to all the class in a 'mean' way. She's quite young it seems and this maybe her 1st teaching job. It's a pity as they love the subject but feel that they're not enjoying it as much as they should because of her.

OP posts:

FlamingoQueen · 08/10/2019 20:38

Is there a Head of Year? Probably better to speak to them and then it can be escalated to the Head if needs be. You are absolutely right to complain.

Original poster

Buddha123 · 08/10/2019 21:36

There is a year head FlamingoQueen, she's very approachable. I just read there in some school literature that any issues should be brought to the year head first. Again thank you all, we spent so long working on his anxiety and building up his resilience in primary and I wouldn't like him to start feeling anxious about going into this particular class.

OP posts:

gingerbiscuits · 08/10/2019 21:40

Speaking as a teacher myself, that's NOT ok & you need to raise it ASAP - don't wait for parents evening.

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