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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Time off for operation the sequel

22 replies

PrincessHoneysuckle · 08/10/2019 08:21

Sorry I dont know how to link my previous thread as I hid it after I had a lot of comments.
I'm having an operation in january,I was unsure if I'd get into trouble as it's in term time and i work in a school as a lunchtime supervisor,I'll need 2 weeks off.

After umming and aahing I decided to e mail the head on the internal system to inform her of my situation and if she would like to discuss this with me in person that would be fine.
I haven't heard anything back and sent the email on Wednesday.Obviously shes a very busy woman which is why I've messaged her first.Im now worried she didn't get the message although it definitely says sent.
Would you just assume shes busy and doesnt think its important as its so long away or would you also be thinking she didn't get the e mail?

OP posts:

onanothertrain · 08/10/2019 08:29

Are you the OP that's getting breast implants?
Why is it her decision what happens? Are you asking for unpaid leave? Can you not have your surgery during school holidays?

Original poster

PrincessHoneysuckle · 08/10/2019 09:32

Yes I need them replacing for medical reasons.The surgeon isn't available during the holidays I've asked repeatedly.I was politely letting her know and giving her notice.

OP posts:

onanothertrain · 08/10/2019 09:39

So get signed off sick

Original poster

PrincessHoneysuckle · 08/10/2019 09:47

Yes I will do I posted to see if others thought she was being u bit U by not replying or if I was by expecting a response

OP posts:

SoundsAboutRight · 08/10/2019 09:50

I would think she is very busy, it hasn't even been a week since you emailed. She may also be seeking advice as you were very vague in your last post and didn't answer the multiple posts asking whether the breast implant surgery was for health reasons or cosmetic reasons. That of course is your business (and certainly not ours, but you did ask for advice and that info would have people helpful for people to give more informed opinions) but it would definitely make a difference to whether you would / should be allowed to take time off during the term. The headteacher maybe asking for advice on her legal position before she speaks to you.

Obviously if there is a problem with the implants that would affect your health, then of course you should have time off whenever. But if it is for cosmetic reasons then no, you should have them done in the holidays by another surgeon. Which I understand is an option, you just wanted this particular surgeon who has children and takes school holidays off. I can only guess from your other thread that this is not an NHS operation as if it was a health issue, you would want it done as soon as possible by any competent surgeon suggested to you. (Do you even get to choose a surgeon on the NHS and do NHS surgeons get to take all the school holidays off?) Which would point to the surgery being non-health related and elective, therefore not eligible for paid sick leave.

Original poster

PrincessHoneysuckle · 08/10/2019 10:00

No it's not NHS,I had them checked at the hospital I went to originally and was advised to replace.Nhs can remove implants but wouldn't replace which is the right thing as the NHS is for much more important things.

OP posts:

Countrylifeornot · 08/10/2019 10:28

She probably has a huge workload. Do you report directly to her or do you have a supervisor?

Original poster

PrincessHoneysuckle · 08/10/2019 10:29

@Countrylifeornot I have an office manager but we go with big things to the head.I think if I haven't heard anything by next month I'll speak to the manager

OP posts:

SuperLoudPoppingAction · 08/10/2019 10:35

Have you had a second opinion?
Strikes me that is a good way to make money for a private hospital

Original poster

PrincessHoneysuckle · 08/10/2019 10:43

@SuperLoudPoppingAction no I haven't but I'm happy to pay to have them replaced,I trust his opinion.I just dont want my job to be at risk which is why I was anxious for a reply.I really dont expect to be paid for the time off but I'd like to know either way.

OP posts:

Russell19 · 08/10/2019 10:47

I think she should have replied by now. Especially about being off. If I was you I'd just knock on her office door or if you see her in passing say 'did you get my email?'

Original poster

PrincessHoneysuckle · 08/10/2019 10:52

@Russell19 I'm worried that shes seen it,hasn't had a chance to reply and I'll look like a pestering cow

OP posts:

Russell19 · 08/10/2019 10:55

Give it a few more days then and then I would ask her. A week to respond to one of your staff's emails is enough.

SquirrelsInJune · 08/10/2019 11:01

I haven't seen your previous thread but it would make more sense to contact the office manager about the op. If there's a problem or something needs clarification, they can then pass it on to the head.

NWQM · 08/10/2019 11:01

Personally I'd have sent you a reply to acknowledge the email but whether you'd get a full reply would depend on what you've said. You've given her the option to speak to you about it. Has there been that chance yet and you've both not brought it up?

You are asking for a decision about time off quite in advance. She may not be able to give you an answer as would depend on if other people are off etc.

Original poster

PrincessHoneysuckle · 08/10/2019 11:02

@NWQM no opportunity as yet I don't see her often as I'm out with the children or in the dinner hall

OP posts:

Countrylifeornot · 08/10/2019 11:25

You've bypassed the chain of command, kindly OP you having a few weeks off will just not be on her radar.
Go and speak to your manager, they are the correct person, not the Head.

RainyG · 08/10/2019 11:37

How did you word the email? Was it 'would it be possible..' or 'I won't be able to..'
Have you explained why only term time is possible?

Many people on your last thread suggested you ask the clinic for a Friday before half term, then it would only need to be one day off and you can recover in holidays.. did you explore this option?

If I was the head I would want to see you have tried everything possible to avoid term time.

siriusblackthemischieviouscat · 08/10/2019 12:19

Check with PA as she might have missed you email. I would expect a response.

Is it a primary or secondary you work at? If a secondary she might have sent it to one of the slt who deal with lunch time supervisors.

Check your policy as ours doesn't allow paid time off for cosmetic surgery so it would have to be unpaid. The delay could be because she is taking advise on this.

kjhkj · 08/10/2019 12:21

generally you have to take unpaid leave for elective cosmetic surgery but could potentially be signed off as unfit to work (and thus able to claim sick pay) for some of the recovery time.

NWQM · 08/10/2019 18:36

Personally I wouldn't worry yet about no reply then. You said she could speak to you but there hasn't been a chance. You are not due to be off for some time. In her world this isn't urgent - quite the opposite really.

I get though that you probalay need to book in etc and don't think you'd be out of order just checking that she got your message.

grumpypug · 08/10/2019 18:39

I would imagine there's a different way to go about asking for time off than an email to the head. There should be guidelines in the staff handbook. At my school, we ask the office staff for a form to request leave and submit it through the office.

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