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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Please help me sort my house out!

118 replies

elprup · 07/10/2019 18:03

My house is an absolute mess. The kitchen sink is full of dirty pans, the cupboards have loads of sauces/tins etc that are years out of date, the surfaces are dirty, the oven is filthy and the fridge is in serious need of organisation.

The dining room and lounge are covered in dust and the floors are filthy. There are piles of crap everywhere (I even have Christmas wrapping paper from last year stuffed in a corner!) The bathroom fixtures are covered in limescale marks and the sink is dirty. The bedrooms have become the unofficial storage areas for all the junk that I don't know what to do with.

I have family coming round on Saturday and the house is a tip - I'm so embarrassed. I'm working during the week so no idea how I'm going to get it in a decent state before they arrive.

Of course, I've just finished work and am sitting on Mumsnet when I could be making a start. I'm just so tired.

A cleaner's not an option due to budget constraints unfortunately.

What can I do?!

OP posts:
BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 07/10/2019 18:29

Get dp involved. Yes he works longer hours than you but you both live in the home and you are growing his child!

Go do the dishes now.

VincentVanGoughandhisear · 07/10/2019 18:31

P.s, I do find that the less stuff you have, the easier it is to clean and be tidy. Get chucking!

VincentVanGoughandhisear · 07/10/2019 18:31

Is booking a day off an option?

Marshmallow91 · 07/10/2019 18:31

I do bits and bobs as I go. As I have an 8 month old, it wouldn't get done otherwise. After you next go for a pee, wash the taps/sink then wash your hands.

Next time you shower, beforehand clean it free of limescale, then after your done it'll just need a quick wipe down from now on.

Each time your making a cup of tea, take some rubbish with you and put it in the bin. Then while your boiling the kettle, wash two more things than you will use (spoon and mug, so four items)

For the record, I'm disabled and easily tired so that's how I get through stuff

LakieLady · 07/10/2019 18:32

Imo, the bathroom is usually the quickest/easiest to clean, as there aren't lots of surfaces to get cluttered with shite. Remove everything that is not in a cabinet, chuck the towels in the washing machine, and get cleaning. Start at the top and work down, doing the floor last.

When it's all shiny, reinstate only the clutter that actually gets used, but organise it neatly (my bathroom has a nice deep window sill where all the things like cleanser etc live), put clean towels in there and admire your handiwork.

Kitchen is a bigger job, but start with the washing up. While it's draining dry, clear the work surfaces and put stuff away. Clean the hob, the surfaces and the cupboard doors, then put the dry dishes away and do the sink (usually, leaving a strong solution of bleach in there to soak the stains away is all it needs, you can get on with something else while that's working). I doubt if anyone is going to check your oven, or the best before dates on the contents of the cupboards, so leave those till the end and crack on with another room.

What works best for me is is to do rooms in sections, ie tidy the furthest corner and dust/hoover it, then move on to the next bit.

If you do a bit of polishing, ideally with a beeswax spray polish, just before your guests arrive, it makes the house smell like a clean house.!

Alternatively, read the "slattern" thread and then you won't actually care! They're coming to see YOU, not carry out an inspection of your housekeeping.

LakieLady · 07/10/2019 18:35

If you are local to me I would come and help! I love a good sort out.

Not in Sussex, are you, @VincentVanGoughandhisear? I've got enough "sorting out" to keep you busy for a year! Grin

Stampy84 · 07/10/2019 18:36

I always find its best to start upstairs- if I do downstairs first, I simply can’t be Arsed to do upstairs and as it’s not where people go, and more ‘hidden’ I gets left if I don’t do it first!

Reallynowdear · 07/10/2019 18:37

One room at a time, op.

Wash dishes, then clean benches.

It will take time but one job a day soon adds up.

Throw out all out of date food/store cupboard ingredients. Don't replace them, you didn't use them.

Get rid of multiple cooking equipment, pants, utensils etc.

Cook from your fridge/freezer/cupboards, concoctions of food never harmed anyone.

Put your family off or ask them to help? I would help a loved one in a heartbeat.

One job at a time, otherwise you'll be overwhelmed.

Decluttering is great but it takes time, good luck.

Fridaysgirl · 07/10/2019 18:37

So you've finished work and are home by 6pm? And no kids to feed, homework to do, story to read etc etc??
Plenty of people work far longer hours than this and are perfectly able to keep a house clean and tidy. Yes it's hard work but to maintain normality takes a minimum of 45 minutes each and every day after work. Simple stuff like- washing up, laundry loads, taking bins out, wiping down surfaces, cleaning one area of the house. If you aren't doing simple basic chores every day you have no hope.
Cruel to be kind but you simply sound lazy to me.

slipperywhensparticus · 07/10/2019 18:38

I can clear anyone's clutter but my own

karalou2 · 07/10/2019 18:40

Oh how I feel for you! But there is a way out. I had a gas boiler check las week so had no option but to clean!
As others have suggested, start in the kitchen with the washing up. Wipe the surfaces and by then, you'll want to clean the floor!
Don't even try to do it all in one go. Your pregnancy is probably draining you, so clean one day, rest the next. And make your end game, bringing the baby home, not having visitors.
Explain to them that you're struggling and are mortified that the house is a mess, but you really want them to visit but won't be able to do everything beforehand.
Hopefully, they'll offer to help, offer ongoing help. Let them help!!
If it helps, remember you're not on your own. It's not pure laziness, some people thrive on cleaning, some don't. Think of me tomorrow, I'll be tidying for a couple of hours. Doesn't mean I'll enjoy it though! But I will feel better once I can see space... Good luck. And don't be too hard on yourself....

Branster · 07/10/2019 18:40

The best motivation in this case would be to watch an episode of Hoarders. If that doesn’t get you going, nothing else will!
I think you might have to stay up very late a few nights though to finish everything by the time your visitors arrive. Have an early night just before they come so that you feel refreshed.
Lots of useful advice on here. Good luck! You’ll get it done an feel really good about it.

Branster · 07/10/2019 18:41

PS listen to music or a good podcast whilst cleaning - it makes it less boring

SuchAToDo · 07/10/2019 18:43

Op it is doable,

If you have any dirty clothes to be washed gather them up and get them in the washing machine...

Fill sing with hot water and washing up liquid and leave the dirty plates, cups etc to soak so that it's easier and quicker to wash

Now grab three black bags

One bag is for keeping things you want

Second bag is for donating stuff to charity shop

Third back is for rubbish and things to throw away

Now start in living room (turn TV on so you can watch TV ...it doesn't seem like work as much if you have something to watch at the same time)...now start at one end of the room and pick each thing up one at once....and decide, keep, throw away, or donate ....and work your way around the room...

Do the same in other rooms with the three bags (start at one end and work your way across picking up one item at once and put each item in one of the three bags

Now go in kitchen empty out the cupboards onto the table....

Have a box or bag ready...anything expired throw away...wipe out the cupboard...then put the rest back in

Now do the same with other cupboards if they need cleaning/organising

Empty out fridge and give it a wipe down, anything expired gets thrown away...everything else gets nearly put back.

Now go back to the sink, drain the water, put more warm water and soap in and scrub the plates, cups etc, dry, and put them away

Wash down the kitchen surfaces and top of cooker

Now sweep/mop the kitchen floor

If you have carpets in other rooms run a vacuum cleaner over them...

Anywhere that needs dusting run a wet cloth over it

If your family are sleeping at your house change the bedding in the rooms they will be staying in so that it's at its freshest and cleanest ..

If your bathroom needs cleaning then do that next, start with toilet and then sink and bath/shower

You can do it op...promise yourself a treat that you will give yourself once it's done...then let the thought of the treat motivate you

Op is there a reason you can't meet the family away from your home?(so you don't have to rush around cleaning )

Reallynowdear · 07/10/2019 18:44

Op, you don't sound lazy to me, you sound overwhelmed.

Routine is boring but is your friend.

Put some music on and just start clearing.

If you get a chance, watch some decluttering videos on youtube, this may give you inspiration.

The more crap you have, the more this crap requires tidying.

kiki22 · 07/10/2019 18:45

Bin all the rubbish
Collect everything that needs put away in a box
Dust everywhere - get a pledge fluffy duster or the like
Hoover every floor.
Get in the kitchen and wash dry and put away every dish then scrub all the surfaces. Some zoflora and boiling water in the sink to get rid of any smells
Bathroom spray everything leave it (while you strip and remake the beds) then go back and scrub it all.

Don't stop til it's done.

RoLaren · 07/10/2019 18:46

It doesn't sound like a safe, hygienic environment for a baby. The health visitors/midwives will think that to. Just do it. You're only going to get more tired as your pregnancy progresses.

Ohnoherewego62 · 07/10/2019 18:53

Do a job. Report back here. Then do a bit more. Report back.

Dont shower or get into your pyjamas yet as it will put you off.

Rubbish cleared first. Clean items away. Wash dishes. Get your limescale cleaners or whatever you use steeping in toilet and bath etc before you wash the dishes. Then as soon as the dishes are done, go straight to the bathroom and get it cleaned.

Loud motivational music is your friend.

DelphiniumBlue · 07/10/2019 18:58

You're pregnant and working full-time. That makes some women really tired, exhausted with nothing to spare kind of tired. If that's the case with you,then DH needs to step up, even if he does get home later.
I used to find having an hour nap when I got home made me able to function for the rest of the evening.
Meanwhile, tackle kitchen first , then make sure the room where your guests will be sleeping is clean and bed made up.
Clear surfaces as much as possible. Spray everything in the bathroom with flash or similar and let that do its stuff while you crack on with something else.
Get DH to do the heavy work, e.g. carting charity shop bags/ recycling/ rubbish out of the house, and the hoovering and floor washing, while you focus on clearing .

PhilCornwall1 · 07/10/2019 19:00

The next thing you could do is get off here and your phone and get cracking.

Youseethethingis · 07/10/2019 19:00

Another vote for the black bag here! First thing I’d do is take a walk around the house with a black bag and gather up the general crap lying around. Once you see the immediate difference that makes, it should hopefully spur you on!
I sometimes like challenge myself to see “how much can I get done in a 15 minute burst” if things are starting to pile up. That seems easier to handle than staring up at the mountain that is your messy house and wondering how you will ever conquer it. Did it this morning at 5am when baby DS woke me up with his sleepy chatter (but not himself Confused) - got loads done in time for DH auntie coming to visit this afternoon Smile

MitziK · 07/10/2019 19:01

Ten minutes at a time - just chuck crap into a bin bag, fill it without engaging your brain much - if you wouldn't take it with you if the house was on fire, you don't need it. Tie up the bag, put it outside, sit down with a cuppa. Odds are that you can do several of them without even moving that far from a chair.

You need to be able to see your sink. Take the time to stack pans, plates, bowls and gather all the cutlery in a baking dish - on the hob is a great place, as you aren't cooking right now. Knock any lumps of food out/off them into a binbag.

Clean the sink and drainer. And the bowl if you have one. You have somewhere clean to clean your stuff now.

Do one load - plates or bowls. Don't leave anything in 'to soak' as that really means 'to forget about it whilst it festers away, slowly gaining sentience in a grim smelling soup'.

Have more tea.

Put those plates/bowls away. Do the next load - cups and mugs?

Walk away from the washing up. And sit down again. Use the time sitting to chuck whatever rubbish is nearest you into a carrier bag or bin bag. Knot it and put it into the wheelie bin.

You'll most likely find some random plates or crockery around the settee. Take them out, wash them up - lots of fresh bowls of hot, soapy water here. Leave them on the drainer, empty the bowl, wipe the sink and go and do something else.

How about cleaning the bathroom sink? Have a carrier bag with you and chuck anything that is used up, looks manky or you just don't really like, into it. Shove any loo roll inners, contact lens packets, random bottle caps, etc, in the bag. Tie it up, get it out.

Squirt the sink with cleaning stuff. Clean with something scrubby, do the inside, the top, the taps and wipe over the outside of the bowl. Job done. Squirt the cistern and the outside of the toilet, wipe over with bog roll, chuck in bog, flush. Shove some bog cleaner in the bowl, shut the lid and walk away.

Go and lie down. You've done a hell of a lot already.

Day two. What else is annoying you particularly? Are the still dirty pots bothering you placed neatly on the hob? Could you get a takeaway tonight? Anyhow, maybe it's a messy bedroom that's bothering you. Open the windows, dark or light, a bit of air will help. Strip the bed off, chuck the linen into the washing machine on the hottest wash it can take and make the bed properly with clean sheets/cover/pillowcases. It'll feel amazing tonight. Maybe once you've loaded the machine, you could wipe over the thing with a damp cloth with some spray cleaner. Just the bits you see, the door, front and top. Before you go to your awesome bed, take the washing out, hang/dry it and wipe over the inside of the door and the seal. Partners quite like helping with folding sheets. I think it's a childhood thing to help or do it at camp, and it's not drudgery. You can ask him to take it upstairs or do it yourself (and not come back down again because you have the clean bed to yourself).

Day three. OK, you're going to have to deal with those pans. There's no law that says you have to keep the one that always sticks. Wash them up and whilst they're on the drainer, lift the supports up and clean the hob. Put the supports back and put the clean pans back on it. Deal with anything in terms of plates from the last two days, make sure the sink is clean and you're done there.

Make a cuppa. Could you wipe over the fridge, freezer or table whilst you're waiting for the kettle to boil? As you sit down, is there something like the Christmas paper visible from your seat? Plan, pick what pisses you off the most. Once you've had your tea, get up and get that annoying bastard into a bin bag and tie a knot in the top. Shove it in the wheelie bin and take your mug back to the kitchen for a quick clean.

Day four. Now what's annoying you? If you aren't sure, just do a bin bag banishment. Make sure your bed is straightened, as it's going to be great coming back to it.

Could the shower/bath plughole need dehairing? Yes, it's gross. Pull the hair spiders out and shove them in the loo. Flush them away. If getting rid of that pleases you, how about clearing the end of the bath of the half bottles that you don't use? Any chance of squirting the end, taps and sides and then rinsing with the showerhead? Stick some fresh towels in and take the existing ones down to the washing machine. Bung them in on a hot wash (chuck any that look manky into a binbag).

Do a couple of ten minute bin bag banishments and get some sleep.

Day Five. Floor. Scoop up anything not nailed down or frightfully expensive and banish it. Get vacuum cleaner and do the 'open' bits, empty vacuum cleaner. Could you go from the living room to the hall? Feeling brave enough to do the open bits of the dining room? Good. Time for a cuppa. Try cleaning a countertop whilst waiting for the kettle. The one where you chop up food would be best.

You've then got time to consider what is most important to you to get clean next.

Limescale marks are nothing compared to dirt where you prepare food, but wiping over everything makes it look clean with limescale marks, compared to filthy. Having a clean sink helps. Stacking things helps. Doing short bursts of activity in between cuppas really helps.

Being brutal, as in 'I don't want to look at that shit anymore, much less deal with it' really, really, really helps. Gradually, the amount you do increases and the amount you have achieved builds up so that the 3 hours of washing up becomes five minutes of two plates, done as you take them out in the first place. The floorspace increases and gets cleaner. You don't have a billion bits of crap yelling at you for attention, as the moment something catches your eye, it vexes you and you banish it.

It didn't get like that in a day, nor will it be perfect in one. But you can make far more progress by doing short bursts of activity than looking at the overall picture and giving up in despair.

IVEgottheDECAF · 07/10/2019 19:02

Op it might be worth getting your iron levels checked as well

Times10 · 07/10/2019 19:02

Do as much as you can tonight, but I second a PPs suggestion to utilise the time you have the most energy. For me, that’s the morning. I’m up 1h30 before I need to leave the house every morning, and put on a wash straight away, so it’s ready to hang out before leaving (you could set up your washing machine to come on early in the morning instead). After breakfast I make sure the kitchen is clean, by doing all the dishes that I didn’t get done the night before, and cleaning all the counters. And if I have time I hoover downstairs. So my «daily» jobs are all done before I leave the house. Later in the day, I tackle sorting/decluttering jobs, but only 20/30 minutes at a time, so even if I don’t have much energy I know I can do that, and on days I can’t, I’ve at least sorted the daily jobs first thing so the house doesn’t get worse. (Who am I kidding, I have DCs, so obviously things get worse, but the basics do get done)

neonglow · 07/10/2019 19:06

The organised mum method has ‘boot camp’ week to get a chaotic house in order to be ready for starting the method.

I’d say go out and get some strong coffee, kitchen roll, micro fibre cloths, cleaning sprays, bleach and strong bin bags. Set a timer and turn up the music. Begin by chucking a load of stuff out and work through each room.

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