AIBU to not want to put my 3 year old back in nappies?

[Jods1982]

Hi everyone,

So DD2 turned 3 end of July and potty trained a few weeks later. But over the last few weeks is suddenly having accidents, sometimes just once but can be 2-3 times a day. There have been no major stresses as far as I'm aware, though I had a miscarriage a couple of weeks ago but only went to a couple of appts that were mainly on her nursery days.

Nursery are now asking to put her in nappies which I really don't want to do. She is completley dry at night and has been since August. Any advice/tips of how to get over this?

Definitely dont put her back in nappies. I think it's bad that nursery are suggesting that tbh.

I would just go back to basics. Ask her if she needs the toilet more regularly.

Tell nursery no if that's not what you want. Are they reminding them frequently enough to go to the toilet? Is she in a new room now that she's older? It may all be a bit new for her or just a bit exciting (hard to remember boring stuff like going to toilet).

I think they often revert, it's common don't worry. DD who had always been super reliable since 2 1/2 suddenly went backwards on a holiday aged five. It's just one of those things and I wouldn't make a fuss or DD might become anxious.

Odd that nursery are saying that unless they feel she is upset by the accidents and needs to regain her confidence. Also, are they saying nappies or pull ups?

What’s actually happening? Is she asking to go to the toilet and not making it in time? Or too distracted and not even asking? I would get her checked for a uti and then go back to basics first of all - so sit her on the toilet and give her a sticker or praise for going. My two year old only does about four wees a day so it sounds like your DD is having lots of accidents and might benefit from a bit of refresher of toilet training.

No way would I go back no nappies. Can you ‘reset’ things? Go back to a day naked/ no pants/ whatever you did on day 1?

^ ‘to’, not ‘no’ 🤦‍♀️

2-3 sounds like quite a lot. It is be reluctant to go backwards like you say. My 3 year old is prone to accidents if she’s tired but it’s the odd time now really. Has her sleep changed at all?

I wouldn’t at this stage. I would start reminding her even if you haven’t had to do so in the past. Sometimes they get so engrossed in what they’re dot that they forget they need the loo.

I definitely wouldn't put her back in nappies either. I would just keep persevering. My son has taken about 6 months to be properly reliable - he is now 3.4. He still won't use the toilet though only a potty. I know lots of people say it only took their child a few days to train but it does take some children a lot longer than that.

My three year old has been potty trained for a few months now and no longer has accidents at home but will often have 1-2 a day on nursery days. I put it down to them not being able to pay as close attention to him as I do. They haven’t ever suggested putting him back in nappies again. Think your nursery should be more supportive. Does she have accidents just as often with you?

Have you taken her to the doctor to check she’s not got a UTI ? My daughter had problems with daytime accidents for years, turned out there was a small issue with the tube from her bladder to her kidneys, which caused backflow, and caused infections. There was none of the usual stuff you would expect like burning. She would have no warning that she needed to go, and just wet herself.
She was on medication for a few years, but, with age, the problem has resolved itself.

It’s fairly normal to regress a few weeks after initial training. It’s as if they get lazy with it! Don’t put her back in nappies but maybe do a reward chart for dry days at nursery? She’ll get over it.

I can understand why nursery want her back in nappies. If every child had 2/3 accidents per day that would take up the majority of the day changing them and sanitising the area

@OneForTheRoadThen I had to re read your post. I thought you said your son was 34!!

@AllFourOfThem , she went up to the bigger room a month ago. She can get upset when she wets herself. Hubby picked her up from nursery and apparantly today she was refuisng to go to the toilet, whereas at home it seems more distraction. I know I've got lapse in reminding her and will look at stickers. She is home with me Weds and Thurs so might try a refresher and see how we go.

@Userzzzzz no changes in sleep

@Hugsandpastries.. her accidents at home vary, i think she only had 1 over the whole weekend, but 3 or 4 before days beforehand, she had 3. She never has them when we are out and about at all.

@Latersxx haven't taken her to doctors, but if we don't get much improvement this week I will take her next week

Hopefully with a few days at home she will back to normal. It might be worth checking whether she is now expected to take herself to the toilet, has fewer reminders or else there are bigger children freely in the toilet cubical area which is intimidating her.

Also DD1 has had a few utis and they always present with a few accidents.

My DD has done this a few times. She been potty trained about 8 months now and last month had a phase of having accidents every day. I just started asking her more often and when she said "no" I took her anyway. About a week later she was back to normal and no accidents.
I wonder if sometimes they're feeling a bit under the weather or have something on their mind and forget about weeing, but then get over it.