Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To expect more???

1 reply

ficklemissfickle · 07/10/2019 12:27

Firstly, I know I am blessed in countless ways but can I just have a little rant??!! I'm off work today because I've just had ENOUGH!! Love my job but lots of issues currently re management, work load and general relentless pressure, I've been aware recently my work/life balance is a bit askew and, combined with waking up 5am every morning with a pit of despair in my stomach, just couldn't face going in. Could probably cope with all of above if didn't feel so put upon at home, have two secondary school age kids who are good kids generally (they are the things I worry about the least) but I seem to have to be constantly on at them to remember to do things, take things in to school, keep rooms tidy blah blah blah, I do have a husband but pretty much EVERYTHING falls to me, I realise I have created this life as have a need for control and order but I am worn out. Physically I am exhausted & there doesn't feel like much joy or light in my life, neither home or work are a respite. My husband is fundamentally a good man but also very self absorbed and can be volatile verbally & prone to depression, consequently I try very hard to keep the peace but at cost to myself. Re support outside the home? I have friends but tend to be the one supporting them, my one very good friend is all loved up in a new relationship & I feel, perhaps doesn't have time for me these days. So, sorry, long post & am clearly feeling pretty sorry for myself.

OP posts:
hazell42 · 07/10/2019 13:07

You need to put yourself first more.
Start today.
Your children will benefit by learning to be more independent. If they have to suffer the odd detention at school first, look on it as a learning opportunity.
Say no to people. you dont have to allow others to dump on you. That goes for work and friends and family
Dont be the one who volunteers. If no one else puts themselves forward, do your bit, but only your bit, and then call on someone else to take a turn
Tell your husband to step up. he is a parent too. I'm wondering if you are down playing his bad qualities, because 'volatile verbally' sounds like a synonym for verbally abusive, so you may end up tolerating his shit for a quiet life

The problem with that is that eventually you crack. People pile more and more of their crap onto you till you cant take it any more and then the repercussions can be disastrous
I speak from experience

Dont wait till you are at the point of telling your boss to shove his job, your husband to leave, and your kids... well, you cant easily get rid of your children but you can end up saying things in the heat of the moment that will never be forgiven or forgotten.

Looking after yourself is important for both you and your family
If you crack under the strain what will happen to them. Will your husband check their homework and pack their bags? Only you know how un/likely that is.

It's hard to turn the ship around, and people will resent you for it, at least for a while, but the alternative is to carry on as you are until you break

Which is what I did.

Good luck

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.