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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think if you don't RTFT do you feel a bit silly...

37 replies

LaMarschallin · 07/10/2019 10:34

...when you castigate someone and they say "But I apologised 2 pages back"?9

OP posts:
FoldenHoard · 07/10/2019 11:45

I automatically read it as Read The Fucking Thread anyway, not full.

Ginkypig · 07/10/2019 11:47

It depends on the thread and how much time I have to be honest.

If I have time or if a thread is very interesting to me I'll read all of it.
Or
if I post without rtft I generally don't post anything that would need any of the extra detail or that extra information would cause the post to change. but I very rarely do that.

Or and this is probably what most people do on really long threads,
I might not read every single post but I definitely read all the op's posts and if one of them reference another post il try to quickly find that too and skim the rest and then if I have time or the inclination to read more of it especially if it catches my eye in the skim and on certain threads posters will write their own experience (to help the op) which I normally read and have learned a lot from that.

PlasticPatty · 07/10/2019 12:32

It is not perfectly reasonable to not read the OP's updates
Bollocks. It's a message board. People can do what they like, and you can't make them do any different. Grin

WonderTweek · 07/10/2019 13:06

@FoldenHoard Same! It never occurred to me that it would be "read the full thread" until now. 😂

QuimReaper · 07/10/2019 13:16

This is about the stinky grandad thread. The OP posted something strange and then a load of people went "eh?" And carried on doing so after she acknowledged and apologised.

OP I think you're taking it to heart a bit and should probably just let it go!

amiapropermum · 07/10/2019 13:26

I saw that thread and get why you were irritated, OP. However, posters were probably responding to other people who mentioned the age of parents/GPs, rather than just replying to your initial comment, that you apologised for. That's the nature of a group discussion.

LaMarschallin · 07/10/2019 14:54

QuimReaper

This is about the stinky grandad thread. The OP posted something strange and then a load of people went "eh?" And carried on doing so after she acknowledged and apologised.

OP I think you're taking it to heart a bit and should probably just let it go!

That's the one Smile

Except I wasn't the OP.

It's a shame though because it made me feel apologising is pointless. I said something silly, retracted it, acknowledged I'd been wrong but kept getting castigated.

So what's the point in trying to be nice?

OP posts:
QuimReaper · 07/10/2019 16:53

No, you're the OP of this thread! There will be lots and lots of posters who did see your redaction and didn't post because of it.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 07/10/2019 17:57

I only read the full thread if I want to, if by some chance it has become interesting. Usually, I'm interested in the opening post and my response to it. I don't actually care what a load of randoms think, so why would I read?

You do realise that, to everybody else, you are also another 'random', don't you? Are you expecting them not to care what you've written and thus not bother to read it?

If you only ever want to see an OP and then consider your own instant response to it, without bothering about other people's opinions nor expecting them to bother about yours, then why ever would you consider posting at all? You might as well just lurk, read the OP (or anything online) and then keep your thoughts about it in your own head - unless you assume that anything you might have to add must automatically be of huge interest to everybody else, who themselves are all without a doubt posting what must surely be meaningless rubbish and guaranteed not to be worth a moment of anybody else's time?!

The whole idea of MN is for 'random' people across the world to discuss a whole variety of issues and to interact with each other. If a thread gets (in your perfectly valid opinion) too long to be of interest, then just keep on scrolling. By adding your own comment, all you're doing is making it even longer.

Sparklingbrook · 07/10/2019 18:03

Well said WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll, I assume those posting without RTFT expect their posts to be read by everyone else, or why post at all?

SnuggyBuggy · 07/10/2019 18:08

I always imagine people who don't RTFT are people who love the sound of their own voice pontificating in real life.

I've also changed my mind about drip feeding, some is obviously goady but a lot of it is just an OP posting, a replier questioning something leading to the OP thinking of something relevant that they didn't think of in the first post. In real life this is called a conversation. People who object to this are probably the people in real life who talk in long boring monologue

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 07/10/2019 20:32

If you think of a thread as the online equivalent of a multiway conversation....

If you like people to listen to what you say and then you listen to what they say and then move the conversation on based on everybody's contributions, that's the same as reading (or at least scanning through) the FT - or at the very least reading all of the OP's posts.

OTOH, If you're one of those people who only ever talks about themselves, blusters straight in to loudly (wo)mansplain without listening to what others have to say, never lets anybody else get a word in edgeways, and then marches importantly off as soon as you've said your piece, then that's pretty much the same as ploughing in after ignoring 463 posts that developed, discussed and expanded upon the original OP, whilst assuming that everybody is desperate to hear your personal take on the very beginning of the conversation.

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