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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to wonder why...

2 replies

littleorangecat22 · 07/10/2019 03:49

... every time mental health issues come up in the media (if a prominent celebrity commits sucide etc) everyone is quick to jump on the "why didn't they ask for help?" bandwagon YET when actual mental health issues arise in peoples' lives, when they do reach out for help, the people they ask say 'no' to offering support?

I am personally fine but have a friend who is struggling to find anyone but me who is willing to be supportive of their mental health struggles. It is heartbreaking to see. They feel like they don't matter enough to be listened to. They have asked many people who are important in their lives for support and have been turned away because "I'm not a qualified professional" or "you need to talk to a therapist instead" etc. and... Friend IS seeing a therapist. Friend needs friends, real people who can support them and be there for them alongside their therapy.

They have me. They will always have me. But I don't take away the heartbreaking reality that all of the other close ones in their life have shut themselves off because 'they don't feel qualified' when all my friend needs is love and reassuracne and care from those they love.

It's so sad. And it makes me so angry because if Friend had committed suicide, these peopel would all be asking... "why didnt' they ask for help?"

We need to do better.

Please don't turn away people asking for your support.

OP posts:
FriedasCarLoad · 07/10/2019 04:10

Couldn’t agree more.

My closest friend turned out to have been manipulating and abusing me for years. He would send regular threatening messages apparently from the man who raped me. All to keep me emotionally dependent on him.

When I realised what had happened, I turned to the other in the friendship group. Several of whom had posted articles about always listening to and believing abused women.

Nope, they sided with the bloke.

Very much my experience that those who say they would be there for anyone are often not, in practice.

Thank goodness your friend has you.

EmancipateYourself · 07/10/2019 05:13

Mothers don't ask for help because of the fear of social services involvement and what that can lead to - children removed, loss of livelihood, mark against your name, etc

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