Miffed about being the giver all the time

[SunshineFlower]

AIBU
In 9/10 of my relationships with people (so family, work, friends) I am ALWAYS the person who gives the most. Im the person who contributes to group discussions, the organiser, the practical help, the shoulder to cry on. My ex manager once called me a people pleaser and he was probably right.
A friend of mine has just randomly passed me in the street to accuse me of not telling them what they have done wrong as "it must be something because we haven't spoken for ages". They were really quite rude but have clearly no idea that their phone can make outgoing calls and texts to mine. I was sick of doing the running so simply didnt and now I'm getting flack for it.
AIBU in feeling basically let down by people? (And what can I possibly do about it?)

You’re not unreasonable to feel miffed and let down.

The answer? Well, for me, getting seriously ill worked a treat at getting people to do the running for me

Not sure otherwise!

Thanks.
Not sure illness is a viable solution for me, and I'm not exactly in the best of health as it is!

Start thinking about the things you do because you want to do them and the things you feel you should do. Start saying no sometimes

You're right Shoxfordian. I have been thinking about that and it was a bit if a mistake because I was driving and ended up crying and had to pull over!
Its one of the reasons I just sort of stopped doing the running with this (and other) friends. I literally wrote a list of the things I do for people. (You'll laugh but I have written a list that literally includes delivering a friends baby in the middle if the night, to repeated lifts, delivery of cakes, birthday cards and presents, thoughtful texts, childcare, asking about their life, supporting their job, helping out their partner with a medical issue and the list literally goes on!).

I didn't mean to make you cry!
Yeah think of how much you do and then think of who you could definitely rely on to do things for you. It's all about reciprocity. Stop texting some of your friends and see who continues texting you

Please read the book "too nice for your own good"- you can get it on amazon. It describes how to get out of the mindset of constant people pleasing. You have just as much right to "speak your truth" as anyone else and trust me when I say that constantly suppressing your own needs/feelings/thoughts over time can make you ill (I work in mental health). Its fantastic that you recognise that you do this and this is the first step to empower yourself and give yourself permission to nurture yourself for a change and to really listen to your body/mind and look after yourself. There is a reason they tell airplane passengers to put on their own oxygen mask BEFORE they help others with theirs

This is one of the reasons I'm going to therapy for (combined with the fact that sometimes, with close people, I'm not able to stand up for myself). She taught me an interesting exercise.

Take all your relationships, paper and a pen.

Write down how's your relationship with them and how would you want it to be. Then compare. If it's completely opposite you have your answers.

Try it, you might be surprised.

My DD is just like you:- a rock to all of her friends, kind, lovely and supportive. I am cooler and will not be exploited. I am nice to people who are nice to me and am polite but not over giving to those who aren’t.

My DD is often disappointed by her treatment by others but she is well liked and loved. I am not mistreated but nobody much likes me and only my family love me. Many are jealous of me and some are actively hostile albeit in a polite and passive way.

You pays yer money and takes yer choice.