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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Will this feeling ever go away?

4 replies

TheDarkPassenger · 06/10/2019 20:37

About 3 year ago my in laws launched an attack on me, ranging from beating on my door when I’m home alone, to threats against my life and SS threats. Ended with a harassment order and is no contact. They still have contact with our eldest child. I thought I was fine. I even don’t panic anymore if I see them in the street.

Home alone tonight and laid up with a broken rib feeling very shitty and they all barge into my house with eldest son. Being fair the harassment order has ended now and if they do kick off it’s usually low key and I have them blocked on everything so it doesn’t come straight to me. I’m not saying they did wrong, they didn’t threaten me or anything.

Im shaking like a dog shitting razor blades, I feel like I could vomit and I can’t breathe. I can’t calm myself down I want to scream and cry. Why is this still happening to me? How am I still allowing myself to react like this? FWIW if partner was here I’d have been fine, if I wasn’t vulnerable right now I’d have probably been fine. I’ve had therapy, but she seemed to think the issue lied with my ability to maintain relationships (I have amazing relationships and lots of friends that go back years plus new ones, I get on with my family etc)

I don’t even know why I’m posting I’m just arghhh.

OP posts:
scattercushion17 · 06/10/2019 20:40

Sounds awful and I didnt want to read and run. Perhaps call your partner. People shouldn't really come intk your house uninvited.

TheDarkPassenger · 06/10/2019 23:43

Thankyou @scattercushion17

I have calmed down a lot now. I text my partner while it was happening just saying ‘your family are in my house’ which panicked him more than anything so I’ve apologised for that! I just need to get a bloody grip of myself!!

OP posts:
IncrediblySadToo · 07/10/2019 00:06

To put this into perspective or you...

If they’d done that to me, they wouldn’t be seeing my eldest and they wouldn’t be setting foot in my home. EVER.

THEY DID ‘do wrong’ WHY did they even come into your home

Your home us supposed to be your sanctuary, your safe place. They need to be told they’re NOT welcome - get another order if necessary.

Nothing wrong with your reaction, everything wrong with their behaviour!

I’d say your reaction is normal 🌷

underground76 · 07/10/2019 13:54

Your reaction is 100% normal and honestly, I don't understand why they are still allowed access to your child as they sound utterly deranged. They have threatened and harassed you and as grandparents they don't have any automatic right to see your child either. I don't think people should use kids as bargaining chips, so I'm absolutely not suggesting you stop them seeing your child as some sort of revenge, but I personally would be worried about a child being alone with people who have form for harassment, death threats and intimidation.

What's your partner's relationship with them like? Does he still see them? I don't think I would want to see my family if they were treating my partner like this.

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