To think I am weird?

[Eliza1020]

I don’t want to leave my DC who is 19 months overnight. I should add that I still breastfeed.

I told a friend I would leave them overnight soon to attend a hen do but now I don’t think I want to.

People are saying I am odd. Maybe I am.

I have time to myself but staying overnight is not something i want to do.

Not weird.

I still feed DS (2 years and 3 months) for naps and night time.

I have never left him for a whole night.

15 month old and exactly the same. Not weird at all x x

I don't want my "old" life back
No, neither do I. And I do think there is a huge pressure these days on being somehow “cool” and going out still and not giving things up to have a baby and all the unmumsy mum gin drinking non-mummy martyr etc etc stuff. But if you want to just be at home with your baby every night whilst they are a baby (and I do), that should be completely fine and no one should tell you otherwise.

I couldn't do it. My 3yo has never been babysat or left overnight anywhere without me or his dad. It's just not something we are comfortable with. I have had so many people tell me I have to have me time and me and my partner need to have dates but when you think about it, 4 years at home with your child really isn't a long time. Date nights, weekend aways and holidays can wait.

I just do not understand this obsession to get straight back to your old life and palm your child off to others. It goes against every instinct you have as a mother.

Not weird. Your child is your number one priority and still very young.

Presumably you aren’t drinking alcohol as you are breastfeeding, so could you take the car to the hen do and leave when it suits you? (Having left some expressed milk for dc at home so dp can do the feeds while you are out having fun). Or is it too far away to drive back from?

When did you commit to the hen do? Rather than letting a friend down could you have your partner bring baby and stay at nearby hotel, or come from day/evening then drive home? Seems a bit shit to say yes then back out.

I wouldn't want to either OP. In fact even before DC I hated it. I'd feel guilty and go on overnight trips away or sleep over at a friend's house. I don't mind staying late somewhere but I hate sleeping elsewhere unless I'm with my DP and now my kids too. I know a few people like this.

I’m with crispysausagerolls. Each to their own, every day of the week, and that includes parents who don’t want to rush back to the way their lives were before their children arrived. It took us a long time and several pregnancies to get our baby and I’m not interested in leaving her for long periods and have been fortunate enough not to have to. If I had a friend who wanted a hen do that necessitated an overnight I’d decline and offer to take her out and do something during the day, circumstances and geography permitting.

I have not left my DD and I can't see it happening anytime soon she is 2
As for getting your life back after kids I love being around mine so I don't feel like I've lost anything
But I'm late 30's

Obviously you don't have to go if you want to stay with your baby! That doesn't make you strange.

Nor does is make strange who would go to the hen do with a baby a similar age. My DS is 15 month and has slept at my parents house once a week since he was 8 month old because that's what has worked for us. He has spent a lot of time with my parents, I've gone on a weekend away and go out often on an evening (not out drinking). I know he's perfectly safe with my parents or with my dp (his dad) so I'm happy to leave him.

Firstly, leaving your child with their other parent isn't 'palming' them off, that comes across as pretty judgmental. The expectation that mothers aren't entitled to any time away from their baby can be pretty damaging, there's nothing with feeling like you need a break. Parents are allowed to be people as well as parents.

Secondly, you can breastfeed and drink alcohol.

I hated leaving mine when they were little. If your don’t feel comfortable, then don’t.

Who would you be leaving your child with? Is it the child's father or someone else? Do you ever leave your child ie do you work?

Not weird at all it’s completely natural in my opinion I haven’t left my son yet overnight and he is 2. Baby number 2 due tomorrow though so will probably have to leave him very soon.