Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How do you deal with nosey people?

23 replies

Charley1988 · 06/10/2019 16:42

Sorry but nosey people really fuck me off. I'm not nosey because to be honest unless I've got a close relationship I'm not that interested in people. So how duos deal with nosey fuckers?

OP posts:
Original poster
Charley1988 · 06/10/2019 16:42

do you*

OP posts:
Jenwiththecurls · 06/10/2019 16:51

Depends on the context but if asked a direct question I don't want to answer, I either answer it briefly or vaguely, or say "it's a long story" and change the subject.

One person's 'nosy' is another person's 'refreshingly open'. I often really like frank conversations and would prefer someone to ask me a question, rather than treading on eggshells around me.

Original poster
Charley1988 · 06/10/2019 16:54

Long story Jen is a good way to deal with it

OP posts:
8by8 · 06/10/2019 16:56

“Oh, long boring story” then change the subject

“Oh you know, it’s complicated” then change the subject

“That’s a bit personal!” then change the subject

“Gosh, that’s very personal, why do you want to know?”

Jeezoh · 06/10/2019 16:57

I say “why do you ask?” with someone I know who is really nosey, seems to stop them in their tracks sometimes as they have to justify why they want to know stuff that’s none of their business.

BertrandRussell · 06/10/2019 16:58

It depends what you mean. There are people on here who would consider “Did you have a nice weekend?” an outrageously intrusive question.....

mckenzie · 06/10/2019 17:02

Sometimes there is a fine line between being nosy and being interested isn't there?
I was out for dinner with some people last night that I don't know very well at all (large group, I just so happened to sit next to this couple). Guy mentioned dropping his DS off to get the bus for school on his way to work and I then said "what is it you do?".

It might have come across that I was being nosy whereas I think I was being interested and keeping the conversation going.

redcarbluecar · 06/10/2019 17:05

i think it’s legitimate to say ‘If you don’t mind I don’t want to talk about that’ and change the subject

Pagwatch · 06/10/2019 17:08

I have used ‘honestly - I’d rather not’ but I struggle to say flat out no to people

The only time I did was when a neighbour came and knocked on the door and went to push past me saying ‘I’ve always wanted to have a look’ . I was so taken aback I said ‘no, sorry but you’re not coming in’

Nosy people make me feel really uncomfortable

BertrandRussell · 06/10/2019 17:09

“t might have come across that I was being nosy whereas I think I was being interested and keeping the conversation going.”
Nobody could possibly think “What do you do?” In that context is nosy!

Original poster
Charley1988 · 06/10/2019 17:10

Thanks so much for responding I struggle so much with this nosey people also (give me the rage) make me feel uncomfortable

OP posts:
EmpressLesbianInChair · 06/10/2019 17:10

Pag, it’s lovely to see you back. Shock to the person trying to barge in.

I usually do a vague answer and a “Why?” if they push.

NaviSprite · 06/10/2019 17:21

When I was younger I’d struggle too and use the ‘long story’, ‘not particularly interesting’, ‘why do you want to know’ approaches but it doesn’t really stop the really intrusive nosey twats. Now if I’m asked a question I don’t wish to answer - I tell them that. If they ask why, I say because I don’t want to and leave it at that.

I used to be wary of this approach because I’d worry what others might think, make up in their mind (such as “oh it must be really bad if she doesn’t want to talk about it.”) but then I realised I can’t control what others think of me or what their conclusions will be whether I answer or not, so if I don’t want to, I don’t.

Original poster
Charley1988 · 06/10/2019 17:25

Thanks Navi that's very useful.

There's a guy in work that started asking me personal questions when other people had left the room which left me feeling uncomfortable- now I just am basically polite to him but otherwise don't talk to him all. I just give the cold shoulder

OP posts:
bevelino · 06/10/2019 17:31

If I am asked a nosey question, before I answer, I immediately ask the same question. That usually brings the nosiness to a stop.

Ponoka7 · 06/10/2019 17:37

Why are you being polite to someone whose waiting for you to be alone, to make you feel uncomfortable?

Beautiful3 · 06/10/2019 17:40

I say, "I dont know" alot and am very quiet and boring around nosy people.

Original poster
Charley1988 · 06/10/2019 17:41

Ponoka - I don't speak to him all day apart from a one basic hello in weeks when we happened to pass on the stairs last Tuesday

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 06/10/2019 17:56

That’s not nosy. That’s bordering on, if not actually, sexual harassment.

Ponoka7 · 06/10/2019 18:14

Yep, that's sexual harassment and inappropriate conduct.

Have your phone on record if you happen to be alone with him again.

Original poster
Charley1988 · 06/10/2019 18:25

Thanks Bertrand and Ponoka for your support.

The questions were not of a sexual nature though to be honest

OP posts:
BertrandRussell · 06/10/2019 18:31

They don’t have to be. If they are personal and he makes you feel uncomfortable then he need to stop. And if he won’t, he needs to be stopped.

Original poster
Charley1988 · 06/10/2019 18:42

Thanks Bertrand I tend to be a doormat and have trouble enforcing boundaries so your comments are helpful

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread