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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask for more?

74 replies

Ludos · 06/10/2019 16:14

DH has offered £400 per month as maintenance for 2 DC.

He is self employed with fluctuating income. No point going through CMS as they won't see his full earnings. He usually earns between £500 and £800 a week. Sometimes up to £1000.

I feel like this isn't enough, would it be unreasonable of me to ask for more?

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 06/10/2019 17:07

I do like the idea of you writing down everything that goes out just for the children

Then show him this and see if he could up it a little bit.

If he is a good guy, he will

Original poster
Ludos · 06/10/2019 17:07

I haven't worked since having DC. That obviously now needs to change but I need to find school time term time hours.

It's a big shift as previously all his earnings went into the pot so I've never had to worry about paying for anything.

OP posts:
Bohemond · 06/10/2019 17:11

Why will the CMS not see his full earnings?
Are you saying he is evading tax by not declaring his full income?
And are you suggesting that he is only now doing this or is it something you have all been benefiting from during your relationship?
If so, I have limited sympathy.
Apart from that, clearly he should pay you more.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 06/10/2019 17:18

Why term time school hours only? The children are at high school in another thread.

However in your other thread there is an extra child and you were claiming tax credits as a couple so if he was earning £1000 a week something doesn’t add up.

Hesafriendfromwork · 06/10/2019 17:23

OP I get changing details to stop being outing but changing the amount of kids you have ends up with bad advice.

Plenty of single parents dont have term time jobs. Especially those with older kids.

Confused as to why you will need childcare for them, plus after school activities, plus hobbies.

And £100 per week on lunches? That cant be right

lyralalala · 06/10/2019 17:28

The OP already corrected the lunches error

Original poster
Ludos · 06/10/2019 17:28

IceCreamAndCandyfloss I have one older DC from a previous relationship who is at upper school. One is at middle, one at first.

OP posts:
Notthetoothfairy · 06/10/2019 17:32

I would send him a quick list and say £500 but will need occasional extra help for school trips etc.

Loveoddthings · 06/10/2019 17:32

All this “it doesn’t cost £400 to raise two children” is so... naive

I receive £2350 a month for two children.

My ex earns £150k plus £70k bonus

Our children got used to a standard of living pre divorce. I am the RP. That shouldn’t have to change substantially. And that mean maintenance to reflect that

AJPTaylor · 06/10/2019 17:33

Sounds like you need legal advice tbh. Is there joint property etc? Can you house the children?

Loveoddthings · 06/10/2019 17:34

It would seem to have both fiddled the system in the past (collecting tax credits due to your partner not declaring his full income)
Unfortunately this has now come to bite you on the ass!

BritInUS1 · 06/10/2019 17:34

Wow Loveoddthings that is more than a lot of people earn in a month

Original poster
Ludos · 06/10/2019 17:35

How is that Loveoddthings?

OP posts:
Loveoddthings · 06/10/2019 17:37

you talk about claiming tax credits as a couple!

Loveoddthings · 06/10/2019 17:38

@BritInUS1

Did you clock my ex’s income. He has the children 3 nights a month

Original poster
Ludos · 06/10/2019 17:41

Yes, which we were entitled to do Confused

OP posts:
Loveoddthings · 06/10/2019 17:42

How come? On that level of income? £500-800, up to £1000

And you knew he hasn’t been declaring full income presumably

Original poster
Ludos · 06/10/2019 17:44

It hasn't always been that much.

He pays himself a wage and then takes dividends- which, I believe, makes it notoriously difficult for CMS to assess.

OP posts:
user1493413286 · 06/10/2019 17:48

The £400 is probably about right for a £500 income per week.
His maintenance isn’t supposed to pay all their costs, you also pay half.

Loveoddthings · 06/10/2019 18:05

You are in the process of separating so presumably very recent so without doubt you would have known he was fiddling the system.

Icantthinkofanewname87 · 06/10/2019 18:06

I think £400 is plenty

Original poster
Ludos · 06/10/2019 18:08

I have no idea what you are talking about and why this is relevant?! Fiddling what system?

I'm asking if £400 is enough, or if I should ask for more?!

OP posts:
kitk · 06/10/2019 18:09

If he earns his max £1000 a week you should get £120 per month if my maths correct so given fluctuating income if he pays reliably I'd take the £100 a week, but if he's unreliable it would be better to go thru CMS imo

Loveoddthings · 06/10/2019 18:18

Relevant because you have known about your husband not declaring his full income.

Even more than that - you have been fraudulently claiming tax credits on that basis.

And now... you can’t go through CMS because it will be based on his inaccurate salary.

In short - it’s come to bite you on the ass!

Original poster
Ludos · 06/10/2019 18:20

Loveoddthings

Where have I said hes not declaring his full income? Or that we have fraudulently claimed TC?!

OP posts:
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