To have told DH exactly what I want and expect from my birthday

[smartcarnotsosmartdriver]

I'm just wanting to sense check that I haven't come across as horribly grabby as DH is very sweet and would never tell me to wind my neck in.
It's my birthday next weekend and I will be 33 weeks pregnant with our first baby. I usually love a surprise for my birthday and I am very grateful that people put in the effort for me. However I've been quite emotional lately about pointless things and in an effort to prevent that on my birthday last night I told DH exactly what I'd like to happen. It's nothing expensive or elaborate but I've sent him off with a list. Im not sure if I've been helpful or if I've just turned him into an errand boy.
DH is not usually romantic and I didn't want to expect him to just know something that I wanted and be disproportionately upset when it turned out he wasn't psychic.

I don't think it's grabby. My husband is quite hopeless with presents and special occasions so I always tell him what I want and often send him the Amazon link! Unless you've got a huge princessy list of demands I think it's fine.

I don't think I've been a diva my demands are
Tea and toast in bed
Leave the afternoon free so I can catch up with my mum and sister (they'll come round to the house and they all get on really well)
And cook me a lovely dinner (he's a chef so he's more than capable)
I'd also like some flowers, I like ASDA fair trade roses and they don't kill the cat when she decides they're a snack.

I’m always very specific about what I want and where I want to go for my birthday as is DH. There’s been a couple of threads on here lately where people have been disappointed with surprises that have made me glad of the way DH and I do things. I know what I want and tend to be quite specific about it so I don’t see that as a bad thing as I’m reasonable on what I ask for

We got married on my birthday so I could add to my requests every year!!
*mainly so dh had no excuse to forget either!
Imo when life is busy and your own relationship isn't always foremost on your mind, then spelling out ways to be spoiled just for a day is a good thing!! Goes for his birthday too!
*6 dc at home so reasons to take stock are vital ime!!

None of that is grabby. You have been reasonable and helpful.
My DH genuinely enjoys getting that sort of guidance. There’s stuff plenty of scope for him to make some decisions about the meal or add another present if he wants to, while knowing that you’re going to help a happy day.
Happy Birthday.

I'd find it odd that anyone would be that specific about what they wanted from a day, but I wouldn't think those demands were UR and I'd be happy enough to go along with them. I don't get excited about birthdays but if someone else does I don't mind indulging them unless they are OTT about it.

Specific is good. It’s not grabby and demanding. I always ask my DH what he wants to do for his birthday and vice versa.

You need to up your demands OP, IMHO.
Tea and toast in bed for life - not just one day.😀
Happy birthday.

I think it's probably a wise choice to state exactly what you want if your birthday is important to you. (Judging by the many 'disappointed by my birthday' threads on here)
Especially given the fact you are pregnant and more likely to get upset if everything isn't 'just so'

I've told BF exactly what I want for my 40th at the end of the year and for the first time in years I am excited for my birthday.

Also I think if he's got any sense he will be grateful for guidance esp as you're pregnant. My husband and I nearly got divorced over an ikea hotdog at this stage of pregnancy!

I just asked BF what he would like to do for his 40th next year.....He'd like us all to go to Glastonbury, Me, Him and DD and DS ...I wish I'd never asked now!

I find it's always a good idea to tell DH exactly what I would like, within reason.

Your requests sound eminently reasonable to me - but I would add some chocolate to that list.

I just asked BF what he would like to do for his 40th next year.....He'd like us all to go to Glastonbury, Me, Him and DD and DS ...I wish I'd never asked now

That would be my idea of Hell.

Time for a divorce, methinks.

@TheMustressMhor I'm guessing we probably won't get tickets anyway, But damn it, I asked so now I've got to try :)

Movin

It's OK, it's sold out already.

OP, that sounds like a lovely list, it requires him to think and make an effort to go to the shop for the flowers, and decide what to cook for the meal. But I agree with Mustress that you need some chocolate adding to the list.

I see no point in sending Amazon links etc, once you've chosen the item you've done all the work, you might as well just buy the thing yourself and call it normal buying of stuff rather than dressing it up into a gift when the giver hasn't actually put any thought or effort in themselves.

Thank you everyone. Really relieved to know I'm not barmy for laying out what I'd like.
Chocolate is an excellent idea and will be mentioned when DH gets home from work this evening.

Well hopefully he can't go wrong with a list! Even if he does, make sure you are suitably grateful!

Meh, I'm a huge control freak, I would rather find the amazon link than get something I don't want. We are doing experiences more and more now as presents so we often discuss it in advance to plan the date, babysitting etc. Maybe not a surprise but a bit more practical imo.

I think that is kind and helpful!

YANBU at all

Not at all! Maybe if you'd given him a lengthy expensive list but it seems quite the opposite - thoughtful things he could do instead as you do not need anything materialistic. I think then he'll feel like he's made you happy and was probably worrying about what to get you - now this saves him the hassle!