I know I can't/shouldn't interfere, but I've had no sleep and need a rant.
Niece stayed over last night. I'd agreed to the sleep over as my DD had been begging to have her cousin stay for ages. I'd love her to stay more often but she will not go to sleep on her own, and never has, so it's difficult to do so.
My brother had said she's a little better, but then when he dropped her off yesterday admitted she still expects me to read her to sleep. So I did as he'd asked. The problem was when she woke in the night, about 12.30, she was unable to get back to sleep on her own and got very upset. I tried reading to her again but it didn't work, she said she always wakes in the night and then goes in to bed with her dad (or her mum if she's at hers). This is every single night. Should have mentioned earlier, she's 7 years old. They put her to bed at irregular hours, let her stay up with screens, have always read her to sleep, co-sleep when she wakes.
In the end I managed to get her to sleep again by moving my DD out of the double bed they were sharing, and getting in with her myself. I didn't know what else to do, poor girl was getting hysterical at the thought i might leave the room (I didn't!) The instant I got in she stopped crying, and quickly went back to sleep.
I've talked to my brother a lot about this in the past, and he describes the problem as night terrors. But from what he's told me, and from last night, I think she simply has never believed she can fall asleep without a parent with her and is very scared of trying to do so. She didn't have a bad dream last night, she wasn't upset or scared when she woke and came to find me - it was only when she got back into bed and thought I might leave that she started crying.
I know it's none of my business really, but obviously I care about her and my brother and would like to help. My DD (8) was not an easy sleeper initially, we worked at it and it did take a lot of effort but she was sleeping well in her bed by about 2 years old. My DS (11) is autistic and has trouble relaxing enough to fall asleep without me, again it took a lot of work but he sleeps most nights in his bed - I had to teach him how, it didn't happen on it's own and it took a long time. I have a long history of insomnia too, so I really understand the importance of routine and good sleep habits.
I know my niece was not happy at all last night, she was terrified! How is she going to have sleep overs (which she really wants to do, she's an extremely confident sociable child) or go on school residentials? I'm concerned I won't be able to have her to stay again, which would be sad, because I've had no sleep and feel like death today.
She's been really happy this morning so at least the sleep over experience hasn't been all bad!