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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To consider anti-depressants for my 16 year old?

64 replies

Mumofboth · 06/10/2019 08:57

Just that really. She’s had a lot of crap to deal with and is really struggling. We’ve referred her for CBT but the waiting list is long and I can’t afford to go private. She’s regularly suicidal although she also has good days where she feels she can cope. This makes me wonder if she has a hormone imbalance. From my understanding, the tablets make you “numb” almost and therefore unable to feel extreme emotions, this equally terrifies me and sounds like it might be good for her. I hate the idea of medication but I also hate the constant worry that one day it won’t just be suicidal THOUGHTS. She’s my world and I hate to see the sadness in her eyes. Any advice appreciated.

OP posts:
dietcokemum · 08/10/2019 11:00

@Proseccoinamug

Very unlikely that in any area, GPs will be starting fluoxetine on their own in a 16 year old, with no secondary care support. It may be that in your area there is some scheme where GPs can access shared care early on, but any GP who prescribes for someone that age with no support from the mental health team is foolish in the extreme as there is a recognised increased risk in suicide and the evidence for benefit is not great.

I'm a GP by the way, but obviously this isn't individual medical advice.

TheOliphantintheRoom · 08/10/2019 15:40

Big Pharma has been very successful in convincing us we have "chemical imbalance" that requires long term use of anti depressants. Severe anxiety and depression are a sign that there is something wrong in our lives that needs addressing. Some people might get some relief through ADs (though the side effects should not be lightly dismissed) but they are not the panacea people like to make out. If they were we wouldn't have this so called mental health crisis.

Rachelover60 · 08/10/2019 15:46

It's up to your daughter whether or not she takes antidepressants.

CBT is crap for her problems, she needs proper long term counselling. Look online and see which organisations do free or cheap counselling, they do exist; I have two friends who work as counsellors and there are funds available for people who can't afford the full fees.

Good luck.

Woollycardi · 08/10/2019 16:08

I'm so sorry to read your daughter is struggling and in pain. In my opinion, looking back on my past, the one thing I really wish I had been given at my lowest moments was someone who I could talk to and express how I was really feeling, who would have just sat with me and listened in a non-judgemental way. So, basically counselling. Long term. Same person. Due to the nature of the relationship with have with our parents you won't be able to be this person for your daughter so I really hope you can get her some therapy and maybe if she needs it short term medication as well. Show her as much love and compassion as you can but she needs to do her own healing work. I wish her the best of luck.

Woollycardi · 08/10/2019 16:08

*relationship we have - sorry!

corythatwas · 08/10/2019 16:48

Oliphant nobody on this thread is saying ADs are the panacea for everything: most posters are saying you should try other things first. However, there are some of us on this thread who have had experience of trying everything else first and nothing else working until the patient had been stabilised by AD's. People who have sat in that ambulance, not just once but repeatedly...

As for the "something wrong in your life"- what is wrong in my daughter's life is that she has a genetic incurable condition that is co-morbid with anxiety/depression. The same symptoms have been experienced by members of my family for at least 4 generations, going back to the early 1900s, regardless of the outward circumstances of their lives. It's not something I can take from dd or make different. It is after she started taking medication that she has been able to function, access therapy, carry on with her education, hold down a job.

My mother, who had the same symptoms but absolutely refused to see a doctor, was not able to function for long periods of her life, despite a secure life, lots of interests and a happy marriage. Looking back, I now realise I became her carer around the age of 7. I don't think that was right for either of us. It frightened me. Having that responsibility frightened me.

My grandfather survived because my grandmother basically carried him during his regular bouts of black depression: he admits this freely in his memoirs. He had grown up in a poor farming community, had made a better life for himself through hard work and created a happy family. But he still couldn't cope with the black times.

In our case, it wasn't a crisis caused by Big Pharma: it was a crisis inherent in our family, which is far less of a crisis in the present generation, thanks to proper support. When I look at my daughter, I feel sad that my mother couldn't have that.

Of course this may not be the same for the OPs daughter. But it can happen. Don't assume everybody is the same.

CBT is crap for her problems That, too, depends, Rachel For my dd, CBT under CAHMS worked as longterm counselling, teaching her to identify when she was spiralling down and working on ways to stay on top. I think the reason it worked was, there wasn't actually any underlying problem that she didn't know about herself; her real need was to find a way of managing her reactions.

HappyHedgehog247 · 08/10/2019 16:52

Not what you are asking about, but there are sometimes other therapy sources for teenagers whilst waiting for NHS. Mind often offer sessions, Childline does a lot of work with teenagers not just children and there may be specific things locally for teens.

Spidey66 · 08/10/2019 21:11

You can also get advice and support from an organisation called Young Minds.

EmeraldShamrock · 08/10/2019 21:17

I would under the circumstances. I wish I had the choice or knowledge when I was 16.
I'd be careful which tablets the doctors prescribe. I tried many for me steralyn has been the best, floxentine the worse as my issues are hormone related.
Can I suggest mapping her menstrual cycle if you think it is a hormone imbalance.
I suffer with PMDD it caused years of trauma including suicidal thoughts, if I was diagnosed sooner it may have helped me understand my mind earlier.

EmeraldShamrock · 08/10/2019 21:19

Can you afford one psychologist appointment for a prescription.

CilantroChili · 08/10/2019 21:29

A psychologist cannot prescribe, only a psychiatrist can.
Even psychiatrists are very very slow to reach for the pad here, because as a PP mentioned, the brain chemistry of a 17yo teenager is vastly different to a 27yo’s.

Does your dd have any interests/hobbies OP? Does she swim/run etc?

stucknoue · 08/10/2019 21:41

Here gp's cannot prescribe to under 18's you have to be assessed by camhs (they then hand you back to your gp for monitoring) if she's suicidal they will offer an appointment very quickly

stucknoue · 08/10/2019 21:44

Ps dd is on Sertraline now and quite bad side effects. Not sure she could have coped at 16, she took flutoxitine then

EmeraldShamrock · 08/10/2019 22:00

OP one of things that help me besides the AD, mentioned on this thread is vitamin B complex with vitamin D and exercise. They might be worth trying before AD's

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