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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to be annoyed about DDs stolen thing even though its tiny

17 replies

sprite25 · 06/10/2019 08:24

DD (5) and I went round to next door neighbours who was looking after her neice (she's around 6 or 7) DD and neice were playing nicely with LOL dolls, but the neice kept saying she really liked the accessory that came with DDs doll and said she wanted to keep it. I quietly told DD to put the accessory in the bag we had with us which I saw her do. When DD went to get it, it was missing and couldn't be found anywhere, neighbour said she will look for it as it will be in the house somewhere. When the neices mum came to collect her and they were leaving I noticed the neice had something in her pocket and after they left I told neighbour I think she took it. Neighbour said she will txt the mum to check, and I was willing to dismiss it as just a silly thing kids do. Neighbour said yes she has got it, the mum said she'll bring it back at some point but neighbour says the mum has a habit of not bothering to give stuff back and says she put a bid in on a knockoff replacement on eBay. I say don't bother getting a new one just tell her to bring the old one back whenever. She just says well she will get one or another. I understand she's offered to replace it but surely that's not the point? If someone took something of DDs then she should have it back, not just get a knockoff replacement while the girl who took the original one just gets to keep it with no reprocussions for stealing. I know it's only a silly LOL dolls accessory but surely DD should have back what's rightfully hers?

OP posts:
sprite25 · 06/10/2019 08:25

Sorry just realised how bloody long that post is!

OP posts:
GrumpiestCat · 06/10/2019 08:27

Stick to your guns and say you'll go and collect it today. It's not on for her to keep it.

TheTrollFairy · 06/10/2019 08:28

I agree with you!
It’s not about the item that has been stolen is it, the niece has stolen and her parent(s) seem happy to ignore this (probably because the time is small).

Out of interest, why didn’t you just ask the child/mum when you saw the item in her pocket?

DeathStare · 06/10/2019 08:29

Tell her you don't want the replacement - you want the original back. If you are able to go and collect it, then I would just tell her that is what is happening. If she wants to give the replacement to her niece that is her choice.

Hahaha88 · 06/10/2019 08:30

Of course it should be returned, but your neighbour is in a tricky position and probably doesn't want to cause a family ruck over it. So she's ordered a replacement. Surely that resolvers the issu

Hahaha88 · 06/10/2019 08:30

*issue?

sprite25 · 06/10/2019 08:51

Thanks for the replies, knowing the family history I don't think neighbour would be in slightest bit worried about upsetting the mum and I didn't get a chance to say anything when they were leaving as they rushed out to get a taxi and I had sleeping DS on me but I am annoyed at myself for not saying anything quickly at the time. From what I gather it's just a way of life for them to 'borrow' things and not give them back which I only found out after. If I found DD had taken something of someone else's, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem, I'd make her take it back and apologise.

OP posts:
NoSauce · 06/10/2019 08:56

Paragraphs are your friend OP.

Cakemadeoffruit · 06/10/2019 08:56

Ooh that would annoy me, especially when they've admitted they've got it. That means the girl purposefully went into your bag to get it, incredibly dishonest and just plain theft. I'd message back and say I don't want a knock off I want the original item and I can go and collect it today! I'd also say to the mother I don't appreciate how sneaky your DD is going through my bag. Hope you get it back.

Paddingtonthebear · 06/10/2019 08:58

My DD has just turned 7 and I would be mortified if she had stolen like this! I would ask neighbour for her daughters address and a time today to go and collect. It’s absolutely embarrassing that you even have to ask but some people just don’t give a shit. I would not be fobbed off.

AlexaShutUp · 06/10/2019 08:59

YANBU.

If I were you, I'd offer to go and collect the item, as a pp has suggested.

If you are discouraged from doing this, and asked to keep the replacement from ebay instead, I would explain that you're keen for dd to have the original item back because you want her to understand that it's wrong to take stuff that belongs to other people, and that asking her to accept a replacement while the other child keeps dd's original item would give her really mixed messages.Then suggest that the other child should have the ebay replacement if her family thinks it's appropriate.

Bananalanacake · 06/10/2019 09:04

I understand how you feel. I know this is different but I lost one of my dds lol dolls bottles down the plughole. other dd played with it in sink. I can't get it out and dd knows what happened as she noticed it's missing. feel really bad about it.

StormTreader · 07/10/2019 17:19

She can give the girl the knockoff and get the real item back for your daughter - its not your neighbours item to decide to give away!

KurriKurri · 07/10/2019 17:28

Paragraphs are your friend OP.

If you can't cope with reading a short piece of writing without paragraphs, then a grip is your friend.

NoSauce · 07/10/2019 17:38

How will a grip help me then?

Why are people so offended by someone asking for paragraphs? It’s hardly a slur on their grammar or spelling.

Lulualla · 07/10/2019 17:42

Ask your neighbour for the woman's number and then send her a text asking when would be a good time to pop by and get it back as your daughter is very upset.
I would also tell her that you had actually put that specific item in your bag, and her daughter has gone into your bag to take it which is concerning.

AdobeWanKenobi · 07/10/2019 17:50

If you can't cope with reading a short piece of writing without paragraphs, then a grip is your friend

It's posts like this that require a thanks button.

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