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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be considering taking a sick day for back pain?

26 replies

Penguin13 · 06/10/2019 07:30

Been in bad pain down the side of my left shoulder blade since Tues. Have been trying all avenues to treat and have a chiropractor appointment booked for Tues (they assessed yesterday and took xrays but wont assess and treat on same day) and have been prescribed naproxen by GP and taking that alongside paracetamol but it doesn't seem to have done anything. My pain level is such that i am finding it very hard to concentrate, it varies but is mainly around 7 out of 10. It is exacerbated by sitting at my desk, although saying that it has actually worsened over the weekend, and is at a level that i often find myself unable to sit still. I can't drive as it makes the pain significantly worse - but could make it to work on the train.

Anyway my AIBU is, would it be excessive to take a sick day on Monday if the pain hasn't improved? To complicate matters further we are increasingly overstretched and understaffed, though noone picks up my work when I'm away anyway so I wouldn't be landing anyone in it in that sense. Also my MD has had numerous back issues although far from making her more understanding, she actually takes a 'well I soldier on so everyone else should too' approach (conveniently forgetting all the days where she starts late and finishes early or takes a lunch to do pilates/spinning) Oh and in case it makes a difference, my job is desk-based.

If you think IABU, I would sincerely welcome any tips on managing the pain sufficiently to focus until I can get to treatment.

I don't think I am particularly wimpy in genral but would honestly liken this level of pain to giving birth without the promise of a lovely squidgy baby to cuddle at the end of it!

Think this is my first AIBU so will don hardhat now Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Penguin13 · 06/10/2019 07:38

Annoyingly i couldn't work out how to add a poll to this.

OP posts:
CatstorTroy · 06/10/2019 07:49

My OH had 9 weeks of last year for back problems! I dont think 1 day is unreasonable especially if you have good attendance other wise. Fuck it take the week off!

HollyBollyBooBoo · 06/10/2019 07:57

Not unreasonable at all, don't understand why you think it might be?

Original poster
Penguin13 · 06/10/2019 08:01

Holly partially that I have been institutionalised working at my current company which takes a very dim view of any time off sick. I have lost all perspective of what is normal.

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Original poster
Penguin13 · 06/10/2019 08:04

I think the other thing that was making me hesitate is that i can physically sit at a desk and type, although it is very hard to focus on anything.

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AuditAngel · 06/10/2019 08:08

I have occasionally taken time off for back pain. I find Paramol works for me.

thewayoftheplatypus · 06/10/2019 08:10

YANBU- people who say ‘it’s just back pain’ often haven’t experienced it themselves. If your pain is such that you wouldn’t be able to focus on your work/complete it to your usual standard then you shouldn’t be there! Give yourself the time you need to heal

Angeldust747 · 06/10/2019 08:10

YANBU at all, take the time you need to get better. If the back pain is a long term issue, you could look into a standing desk (raises and lowers as needed) for when your back is bad. A couple of people in my company had them provided after a workstation assessment x

OpiesOldLady · 06/10/2019 08:16

YANBU at all. It's not 'just' back pain though, its the inability to relax, focus or even sleep.

As pp have said I'd take as long as you need to get yourself better.

theretheirtheyrenotno · 06/10/2019 08:18

YANBU if you can't focus due to pain or whatever you should not be at work! Hope you feel better son .

bluetongue · 06/10/2019 08:25

You sound like me OP! A few years ago I injured a couple of discs in a horseriding accident. One morning I woke up and the pain was so bad I couldn’t get out of bed I was seriously considering calling an ambulance (have never been in an ambulance in my life). On top of that I couldn’t feel half my foot. So I rang work and told them ‘I won’t be in this morning but might be able to make it in this afternoon’. I couldn’t even stand up straight! To top it off, instead of calling my mum to drive me to the doctor or getting a taxi I drove myself.

Don’t be like me. I was an idiot and although I didn’t go to work that day I was still in the next day. Still in excruciating pain and unable to stand up straight.

Look after yourself and take the day off. Hope you feel better soon. I know how bad the pain can be.

Original poster
Penguin13 · 06/10/2019 08:40

Thanks for all the replies, I just feel like such a wimp but it's really getting me down. Currently digging deep into reserves of patience trying to play with my 2.5yo who woke me at 6 Brew

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Original poster
Penguin13 · 06/10/2019 08:42

I'm also worried about getting behind with work, but frankly I am so behind already and the company is such a sh*t show that i'm not sure it will make much difference!

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OpiesOldLady · 06/10/2019 08:47

Honestly, no use killing yourself for a job that would replace you in a heartbeat if they had to. Please look after yourself - you need to be ok for you and your family.

dazzlinghaze · 06/10/2019 09:03

Take the time you need to get better! If you need more than the one day take that too. If your manager starts her 'i soldier on' crap just let it go over your head. I had a manager like that and I used to nod and smile and think 'more fool you!'. Why don't you see if you can get a doctors appointment for tomorrow and ask for stronger pain killers? Something with codeine maybe.

Original poster
Penguin13 · 07/10/2019 05:19

Regardless of work level I woke up in agony this morning, there is no way I can work. Not since labour have I found myself involuntarily making noises to cope with pain.

You are spot on Opies they would replace me in a heartbeat (well, they would if their recruitment process was in any way effective - my previous colleague who shared half of my biggest project left in July and they haven't yet recruited her replacement....)

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Doormat247 · 07/10/2019 05:29

I'm off with the same thing OP. Do not push yourself - I did for weeks and have ended up unable to walk/stand/sit for more than a few minutes at a time.
I'm lucky in that I now have an understanding manager (the first one in 15yrs working for same company) who is letting me work from home for a couple of weeks. The company also have a very dim view of sick leave (5 days in a year generally leads to dismissal) and if I had any other of my previous managers I would defo have been looking at being sacked by now.

It could end up being serious and you don't want to be making it worse - I'm my case it's a slipped disc grabbing a nerve plus I also have pgp/spd from my pregnancy. It's doubtful the hospital would do much if you ended up in there, until you can't physically walk at all and even then they're likely to give you paracetamol and send you home.

user1494050295 · 07/10/2019 05:35

Hot water bottle at desk standing desk osteopath stretching and swimming I took time off when I tore a disc

Original poster
Penguin13 · 07/10/2019 05:42

Sorry to hear you are in pain too Doormat I had PGP in my first pregnancy- it's the worst! I guess if pregnant there's a limit to what painkillers you can have too?

Definitely not planning any hospital trips, pinning all my hopes on the chiropractor on Tues pm. If he can't help me I may cry. Again. God help me if I ever get seriously ill, can't even cope with a back problem for just shy of a week!

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Doormat247 · 07/10/2019 06:00

@Penguin13 yes they're really only willing to give me paracetamol but the consultant said new studies show that can be dangerous in pregnancy too. I managed to get some codeine out of the GP but can only take it once in a blue moon as the baby could become morphine dependent.

Don't beat yourself up about not coping with the pain. I was crying and screaming in pain for the first few days and I generally have a high threshold for pain.

Russell19 · 07/10/2019 06:10

Definitely take today and tomorrow off, if not the whole week. Look after yourself abd get the pain managed, your family need a well mum. That is more important than work needing you. If you work through it you could make it worse for the long term. No offence but you are just an employee number to them.

Russell19 · 07/10/2019 06:12

And hope you feel better soon Flowers

Don't dare feel guilty about being off either. Smile

Novocastrian · 07/10/2019 06:12

Worst pain I ever experienced was back pain. It is important to keep moving and not let your back seize up, so sitting at a desk would just make things worse.

Hederex · 07/10/2019 06:16

Back pain can be really debilitating and it's a perfectly ok thing to take time off work for. Flowers

Original poster
Penguin13 · 07/10/2019 19:54

I did take the day off. I do feel guilty and a bit panicked about what i will come back to but distracted by the pain somewhat. Now only git ro survive till 4.30pm tomorrow to get some treatment.

Derailing my own thread somewhat but feeling a bit cheesed off that DH just doesn't seem to get how much pain i am in. We usually do alternate bedtimes which is great, but there has been no offer ro take over tonight given how much pain I am in. Every movement like bending over to help 2yo DD get dressed makes it worse. He isn't unsympathetic just doesn't seem to think that I might need a bit of extra help.

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