Do you always know where your 17 year old is if he/she goes out?

[Really222]

Genuine question because I have lost perspective and don’t know if I am being unreasonable or not.

I don't understand why not Uber either?

My mum always knew where I was, I had nothing to hide. I started dating dh when I was 19 and had told my mum I would be home straight after the pub but Dh and I went to the dancing and so I phoned her and told her I’d be later, dh was a bit shocked but that’s just what I’d always done .

Nope and we were ALL over London and dodgy warehouse / M25 raves

However...

If I had a 17 year old son, in London / going out in London / in proximity to London, I would set up an Uber account in his name. I mean, if he took the piss and was usinfbit to bar / club hop from East to West then, RIOT ACT but to get home? Yup.

I think I’d also say ‘I’ll give zero fucks as to the state of wastedness of you / your mates: if you’re in trouble / can’t get home, call me and I’ll be there. No judgement (till the morning).

I have always been more concerned about who they were with rather than where they were. None of them has ever been into parties/clubs/alcohol so they were unlikely to be anywhere dodgy.

I had some idea of where my son might be although I always knew who he was with. He would check in with me at 11 pm if he was going to be much later.

My youngest daughter is 17 and only ever goes to her friend's house. We have an understanding that whoever's house they are in will bring them home so no worries on that account either.

No, but if I text I expect an answer.

He always wants to walk home too which is usually ok apart from after parties when we pick him up.

We have also done the "wherever you are and whoever you're with, you can call us at whatever time if you need a lift home". I think they need to know they have an option to get out of any potentially challenging situations.

Yes. Not that I'm controlling or anything, it's just that he tells me where he's going, as does my 20 yr old daughter does. It's just basic respect isn't it.

No, not at 17. All I asked was that they tell me if they won't be back at night so that I could lock up & pretend to not worry about them.

And we did the 'respond if I text you' thing, and the 'I'll pick you up anywhere, any time no questions asked' thing as well.

I have a 16yo and yes, I always know where he's going and who with.

Mind you, we are very rural so mostly wherever he's going will require some involvement from me or DH anyway

I'd left home so no my parents didn't have a clue, nor do I think they even thought about it!

My ds turned 18 a couple of weeks ago and always lets me know roughly where he will be and who with. He has been out clubbing twice and both times I knew who he was meeting, which clubs they planned to go to and he text when he was on his way home. He does this without me pressurising him. He usually walks home which I hate as although we live in a nice area close to the city centre there has been a huge rise in stabbings lately. He has an uber account which he uses occasionally.

I know roughly where she is going, and who with, but plans change easily at that age. BUT if she is not being dropped off, I will always pick her up.

I generally have a vague idea of where she is and with whom.

Roughly but not really, but I don’t have any concerns about what he’s up to either

My DD was living alone in Paris at 17 so it would have been quite hard to keep tracks on her.

I don't expect to know where 16 year old DS is, but I expect to be told roughly when he will be home, because that is common courtesy.

I do-at least a general idea-someone's house, into town, the pub etc

We live walking distance from the town centre and she and her friends are very good at not walking back alone which is my primary concern.
She is a very responsible DD and I trust her-expect her to get up to things I don't know about but we have a very open relationship which I am very grateful for! She is probably an over-sharer as well!!

She will give a guesstimate of when she thinks she will be home but just out of courtesy so we don't worry-but it's much more like by midnight or late