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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or are men inherently lazy?

54 replies

Justthinkofone · 05/10/2019 19:00

It's chilly, dp and I discuss lighting first fire of the season. He huffs n puffs around, moans, grunts that his knees hurt, the wood isn't burning well etc. I tell him not to drown it in paper (he has form) to which he says " I know you're trying to help but.." ....anyway more huffing n puffing and gives up. I say I'll have a go.....kneel at hearth to find......he's not cleaned ANY of last season's ash out!? Just piled wood paper coal on top and WONDERS WHY IT WON'T WORK!? Fire needs air!? I just say....nothing....fetch the ash bin...proceed to clean, make roaring fire....ahhhhh. fetches well earned glass of wine
Why are they such lazy twats?! Like forcing more stuff in bin instead of empyting. Leaving empty shampoo bottles in sink instead of putting in recycle bin...I could go on. And if we say anything......We're nagging! Lol.
I just don't get it!!!? Examples of your dps fuckwittery laziness please!!!

OP posts:
Amanduh · 05/10/2019 19:40

My husband isn’t remotely lazy. I am 😂

MerryDeath · 05/10/2019 19:41

i on the other hand am lazy af but I'm
also driven to distraction by the simple mess created by daily life so as forced to take action 😭

WorraLiberty · 05/10/2019 19:43

You both left last season's ash in the fire but he's the lazy one? Confused

FunOnTheBeach20 · 05/10/2019 19:45

My DH is an incredibly successful, driven professional but then he comes home and it’s like it’s an effort to wipe his arse? He asks me how to perform the most simple tasks and I often find myself telling him he’s an intelligent man is it really that hard. But I think they like us to do it for them whilst they stand scratching their heads.

meccacos2 · 05/10/2019 19:45

Could it be more stupidity than laziness?

It seems like he didn’t know.

My DP has practical intelligence that I don’t possess. Occasionally he says stupid things - but it doesn’t make him a stupid person.

Your DP complaining about lighting the fire and the difficulties and the carry on sounds like laziness - the not knowing about the ash sounds like stupidity.

Alwaysgrey · 05/10/2019 19:46

@Justthinkofone he’d likely get cross. I’ve mostly been a sahm so he figures as he works I should cover everything. Youngest has only been at school a year so it’s the first real time I’ve had with no kids. It’s pointless bringing it up as he’ll say he does x and y (despite it being the easy option) and he gets narky.

handbagsatdawn33 · 05/10/2019 19:48

What country are you in?

I don't know anyone who doesn't have central heating, & even the laziest partner can flick a switch, LOL!

dudsville · 05/10/2019 19:50

Also not buying the "men are..." stance. Sorry you're frustrated, but it's not because of his sex. My oh has loads more energy than I do.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 05/10/2019 19:51

@handbagsatdawn33 my DM has just bought a house in Devon which doesn't have any central heating.

adaline · 05/10/2019 19:51

Sorry OP.

I know you want sympathy but why is emptying the fireplace his responsibility? Neither of you have touched it since last winter, so isn't that your fault as well as it is his?

Ninkaninus · 05/10/2019 19:52

Uhm, lots of people don’t have central heating. Or don’t use it much.

Hopoindown31 · 05/10/2019 19:54

Hi OP, as you are the firelighting expert why didn't you just get on with it rather than sit there and tear strips off you husband for doing a bad job?

madcatladyforever · 05/10/2019 19:55

Quite frankly OP I totally agree with you, every man I've ever known has been a lazy twat.
I live on my own because I don't want to be done for murder.
I'm house hunting right now and the very worst houses are owned by single men who have done fuck all to them and are filthy hovels with overgrown gardens.
I don't think you are being sexist at all, they need to up their game and get nto this century. Women won't put up with that shit anymore.

Mephisto · 05/10/2019 19:55

He knows if hedoes it badly then you’ll do it. And if the bin overflows you’ll empty it. And if he leaves the shampoo bottle in the sink you’ll get rid of it. In short, don’t do these things. I’m happy to ignore things that DH should be doing.

madcatladyforever · 05/10/2019 19:56

Sorry OP.

I know you want sympathy but why is emptying the fireplace his responsibility? Neither of you have touched it since last winter, so isn't that your fault as well as it is his?

Because I'll bet she does everything else around the house.

Whoever lights the fire checks if the fireplace is clear.

Original poster
Justthinkofone · 05/10/2019 19:56

After the last fire we must've just put the draft board in front without cleaning...but I can safely say that wouldn't have been me...so I've not seen the hearth to clean lol. I don't think he'll be so lazy about the fire again lol....the fact I got it going has quite annoyed him!

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 05/10/2019 19:57

Quite frankly OP I totally agree with you, every man I've ever known has been a lazy twat.

You've either met a very small amount of men in your lifetime, or you're just as sexist as the OP is.

sirfredfredgeorge · 05/10/2019 19:59

Neither of you have touched it since last winter, so isn't that your fault as well as it is his?

It didn't need emptying until it was next going to be used, so the laziness would have been not cleaning the ashes out then - and it depends a bit on the ashes and the fire etc. if it really, really needed it then too, but given it didn't light it probably did. So yes it was a bit lazy.

Choosing not to de-scale the shower head however is not lazy, just a different priority in life (ie having one.)

IAmALazyArse · 05/10/2019 20:06

I just went to the kitchen.
Forgot the cup. He is now joined by a small plate. Oh well...

thetardis · 05/10/2019 20:07

is it a wood fire or coal? wood likes a bed of ash.

CherryPavlova · 05/10/2019 20:08

My husband works harder and does more around the house.
He’s washing up the pans at the moment. He fetches in the logs, orders the logs so we don’t run out, lights the fires, arranges the sweep. I just have to remember to buy firelighters.

The husband of the couple who came to supper last night is working 13 hours in an accident and emergency department today. He will have got up early to fetch their logs in and walk the dog before his half hour drive to the hospital. Definitely not lazy.

Our son is working double watches in the Gulf at the moment. Forty three degrees, broken air conditioning, twelve hours of high concentration and no breaks then six off and this has continued for weeks. He’s definitely not lazy.

My future son in law is working an additional job providing medical cover to two hospices all weekend. He does his fair share of housework too.

Very sad that some people vilify all men because some are lazy. There are plenty of lazy women too.

thetardis · 05/10/2019 20:11

ah okay from last post it is the lady-points you're after. do much log splitting op or buy it all prepared? even if you'd carved a bow and hearth and did it with friction i'd not be that impressed :p

PumpkinPieAlibi · 05/10/2019 20:13

My DP always helps out. Mature, adult men usually don't conform to the lazy, hapless male stereotype.

Looneytune253 · 05/10/2019 20:13

Tee hee my dh is far from lazy but I have been known to do many of the things on this thread 😂 (I am a woman) lol

thetardis · 05/10/2019 20:14

op just wants us to say yay she lit a fire.

yay \o/

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