To distance myself from my mother?

[TheStoreRoom]

My eyes are starting to open how controlling and spiteful she is.
So many little instances over the last few years I have forgiven as she has had a hard life but recently she gloats over any Minor slip ups of me and my two db’s for example slating dB first home for how small and unfinished it is. Today alone she smiled as my ds behaved badly at family gathering cheerily announcing how he never listens to a single word I say. Lots of petty criticisms but starting to take its toll.
She also is socially inappropriate but think this is due to her isolation she has very few friends and is critical of those few she does have. She’s my mum she does a lot for us all but she’s so critical and ready to catch us out at any mistake I feel on edge around her.

Bump

Have you mentioned it to her? Called her out when she makes these remarks?

Have you tried talking to her about how you feel? She might think she's helping by giving advice rather than being critical. However if she's just plain mean and doesn't care that it hurts you then I personally think I'd be limiting contact

If you feel you need to distance yourself, then that's probably what you need. Give your self some space and time to reflect on how your relationship makes you feel, and then you can re engage or not from a place where you feel more in control.

I feel for you because both of my parents are like this, but please don't distance yourself until you've spoken to her. People really do forget how to behave politely when they spend a lot of time on their own and she might genuinely not realise how she's coming across. Give her a chance to sort out her behaviour first.

The times I’ve flagged it up she just reflects it back to me...eg that was a bit rude/unnecessary she will respond of for gods sake you are so overly sensitive etc