To feel so much pressure about Christmas and birthday for a 5 yo?!

[Northmumof2]

I am panicking.
Single mum of 10 month old DD and soon to be 5 year old DS.
They turn 5 and 1 within a few weeks of each other

I’m absolutely clueless what to get him?
For either occasion and I’ve done over time this month so I really want to try box it off on this wage.
Any ideas ?

He’s asked for either a tv in his room or a Nintendo switch. Neither of which are happening.
He likes to go on my iPad so I did consider an amazon kids tablet because I read I can limit screen time- but I’ve also heard mixed reviews ?

He loves Lego but it’s so expensive.
I just want him happy and I know at his age he will care more about the amount of things he has to open!

I just want to be able to give them everything they want and sadly I can’t !

Don't bother with wilko "Lego", really. You'd be better off spending your money on some second hand Lego. The imitation stuff sucks and doesn't hold onto its value either. You'd be able to sell on the Lego again and people will be willing to buy it without shed loads of horrible, brittle fake pieces mixed with it.

Charity shops have good things if you strike lucky. We once found a selection of barely used Melissa and Doug toys for our toddler.

Last year at Christmas I put
stuff like socks and pants and bubble
bath in my kids stockings (2 and 5 year old). They were stupidly
excited, they just loved unwrapping stuff. I also got some books from the charity shop and cheap tubes of sweets from wilkos. They ended up with bulging stockings for not very much money, and half of it was stuff they needed anyway!

Don’t feel bad about not being able to get. tv or an expensive games console. I don’t know a single child with those things.

Don't get fake Lego. It's a false economy and doesn't click together as well as the real stuff.

Wilko Lego is much cheaper

Does he have a bike or scooter? I pick them up for mine free or very cheap 2nd hand and they make excellent"wow" presents.

Local selling /freebay sites on Facebook are perfect for this

And make Christmas magical by all the routines like writing letters to santa and Christmas baking etc

I don’t know about wilko lego pieces but the base boards are great value and fit perfectly with real lego.

Not a Switch but would he like a Wii? They can be picked up cheap as chips.

Wrap up a box in Christmas paper & fill it with helium balloons. The baby will love playing with that.

Set a budget for your 5 year old and stick to it.

Scour charity shops in affluent areas, car boot sales & fb selling pages.

Head over to the mn Christmas bargain thread on the Christmas board. Lots of discounts, bargains and codes on offer. It's on thread 5 atm.

Chech the clearance sections online & in store

Don't get into debt for the sake of birthdays and Christmas. My mate took out a payday loan at the interest of 65%, please don't do this.

If you can, hold off buying a games console for as long as it's possible.

Christmas is all about atmosphere, please believe me! It’s smoke and mirrors for the most part. Decorate, make tasty food, get him some mixed lego and some mini figures. Get the baby a nice Duplo set. Done. It’s all about the twinkly lights and extra chocolate, belief in Father Christmas and all the rest. FWIW my kids don’t have screens or tablets, I don’t think they’ve ever had a shit Christmas, they’re having all of that magical stuff that us kids from the 70s-80s had.

FluffyAlpaca why hold off as long as possible? We’ve recently dug the Wii out of the loft for our nearly 5 year old and the three of us are all enjoying Animal Crossing, finding all the fish and fossils etc and deciding how to spend money and design things, and it’s really encouraging her to read as much as she can of what the animals are saying. A console doesn’t have to mean plonking them in front of Minecraft and leaving them to it.

Also I remember from when I was very small one of the most magical things was the decorations. The more colourful and garish the better. The charity shops always have bits and pieces and you can make paper chains etc. When the living room looks all Christmassy that in itself will be special.

The best gift you can teach a 5 year old is to be grateful for what they have. My children ask for loads - they don’t get loads and they are still thrilled. I offer a choice of a few smaller gifts or ask if they would prefer a ‘bigger gift’ like a Lego set. They inevitably chose one nicer thing

Ps totally agree with other comments regarding what makes Christmas special. Time together, rituals and routines they will treasure some day - watching Christmas films in pjs, making decorations for the tree, sparkly lights, baking gingerbread

I agree christmas magic is smoke and mirrors, make your own little traditions, we read a different christmas story every night in december and watched a different Christmas movie each weekend. One year I did an advent calender of kind deeds. You could do christmas crafts cheaply which are fun and mean so much more than bought cards and decorations.

When mine were small I used to pick up really cheap stocking bits throughout the year. Never spent much, just things like bubbles, small toys, sweets chocolates etc that was from santa, then downstairs presents were from family. One year my eldest was about 3/4 and we did the stocking up stairs and he said it was the best christmas ever and that was when he thought that was it. He couldn't believe his eyes when he came down to more! I've always loved the stocking part of Christmas more than the big presents, the little things bring such joy

Thankyou so much everyone.
It’s so so lovely to read about how Christmas is all about the little things.
As awful as it sounds my parents worked so hard we barely saw them, I have no happy memories of visiting Father Christmas or doing anything special. But we did get an absolute fortune spent on us. But then again we didn’t get to spend a minute at home as we got dragged about the houses all Christmas.

I guess I felt the need to indulge my children because I felt as a single mum I wasn’t enough. I feel bad that we don’t have a big family/ any family.
They just have me
But I feel abit better now, I’m going to make it special for them and make sure us 3 have a lovely time at home x

OP, another very happy memory I have of Christmas as a child was helping my mum make the Christmas cake. Even now the smell of fruit cake batter and fruit cake in the oven makes me so nostalgic. Little things like this will be remembered for much longer than the presents will.

Second the pps who have suggested buying second hand. Both DSs love playmobil and last Christmas I managed to get a huge castle with all the accessories (dragons, knights, etc) for £15 from Facebook. Second hand Lego is always a winner too. And for the baby, either dig out some of your eldests old toys or see if you can buy a few bits from charity shops/Facebook/car boot sales. Mostly so your son can see her opening something- she’ll probably only care about the paper!

In our house we make a really big deal about the built up to Christmas and each Advent Sunday in December the kids get a little present to unwrap- nothing expense, but Christmas colouring books or a Christmas DVD, materials to make their own Christmas cards, even a pack to make paper chains. Just fun activities we can do together to add to the build up. You can get a lot of that stuff (packs of Christmas stickers, card blanks etc) from Poundland so it doesn’t have to break the bank

There are loads of cheap activities you can do.
Make popcorn and thread it on strings to decorate the tree (and some to eat watching a film)
Most libraries have crafts on, and books and dvds to borrow of course
Stay away from shopping centres--busy, money grabbing places. Charity shops have loads of nice things and are much more civilised for browsing.
Make biscuits or truffles together and deliver them to elderly neighbours as a good deed
Walk around the neighbourhood after dark and look for pretty lights
Go to a carol concert at church, even if it's not usually your thing the atmosphere can be lovely and the church welcomes anyone
Portable North Pole is absolutely wonderful. It's a free website (premium options are available to buy but I never have). You make a personalised video for your DC which looks like Santa is reading their name and age from a book. Very authentic and festive.
Local farms and country parks often have a cheap Christmas trail for a couple of £, nice to get wrapped up and have a walk in the fresh air.

You sound like a lovely mum and I'm sure you'll have a great time with your DCs.

Lego is brilliant. Individual bits are expensive but you can build up a great collection over time. Really good for imagination. Don't get tablets or screens it just leads to arguing and rules. The baby will like the box and paper. Take them out somewhere cheap, even the park and have a lovely day. Hot chocolate in a flask was a favourite of ours if it's a bit chilly

www.hotukdeals.com/tag/kids

Also, check hot UK deals for bargains. If you shop around you'll be able to get more for your money.

I take my dc to the local garden centre to see the beautiful Christmas displays. Have a look at your local garden centres for similar. You don't have to spend much, I take a packed lunch for kids & then grab a coffee in the cafe. A little Christmas bauble from the shop as a memento & it's a lovely afternoon out.

Same with the local museums, they all have cheap or free Christmas craft activities.

Ask people to buy you passes for zoos, soft play or NT places etc if they ask for gift ideas. Then you can enjoy multiple days out throughout the year.

For my DD1's first Christmas I wrapped a box in Christmas paper filled it with tissue paper and put a few rattles, soft balls, building bricks etc. She loved it. Maybe something like that for the baby?

Tesco have a toy sale on at the moment, lots of stuff suitable for a 5 year old x

For your one year old use ebay or Facebook for some second hand Happyland. Mine have had lots of second hand, and never noticed.

Wilko lego is marvellous for 5 year old. I'd buy new for Christmas, but at 5 you can still get away with second hand for birthdays.

My kid’s loved watching Christmas tv. Lots of snacks and the snowman, gruffalo and plenty of films.
They liked being out in the dark and seeing the lights.
Doing a Christmas themed activity at the library and with friends. We invited some friends over to bake cookies and watch a Christmas film.
They remember those things more than the gifts they got.
Your dc will have a lovely time.

Tesco have a good Lego sale at the moment - DH saw a £45 box of Lego reduced to £20 or so. B&M also have a big box of genuine Lego for £20 - not a set for making stuff, just loads of bricks.

Definitely keep an eye on Facebook marketplace too. I got a great Playmobil set last year for £10 - would have been something like £40 new. Also got a set of wooden train tracks for £20 which was £120 new!

We always give the kids a box of their favourite sugary cereal - it's often their favourite present! And it fills up the stocking nicely!

For the wee one, honestly don't worry too much - again, Facebook marketplace is worth keeping an eye on, and also trawl charity shops for books and toys. It'll be more about the unwrapping for her!

I suspect your DS would love a Christmas Day where he gets a big box of Lego and you help him to make fun things with it, rather than a tv or something which will be fabulous for about 5 minutes.

I think it's also about this age where you set expectations for Christmas - keep them low and then you'll be able to smash them!