11 year old worried about weight

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NC and posting here for traffic...

My beautiful DD11 who is perfectly normal weight has started to worry about eating healthy and commented that her tummy is big.

She is perfectly normal with a normal BMI, same weight and height curve and does a quite a bit of sport. She is one of the taller girls in the year.

I am worried as there are two obviously anorexic girls in her year (refuses to eat lunch, super skinny, think they are fat) with mums who do not see the problem.

Does anyone have experience on this? Any tips on how to nip this in the bud?

I have spoken to the school about the general message they are giving the girls and the weight comments (they actually confirmed that other girls had issues). At home, I try not to make an issue of it, just focus on providing healthy food, occasional treats and talking about food as a source of energy and nutrition.

Any other ideas? Any stories of this being a phase?

First of all, I’m very sorry you’re having to go through this.

I had issues with eating from 15-25yrs (when I had my first child and realised there was more to life).

Looking back I would have found either doing some sort of dvd/YouTube fitness helpful and also constant messaging that strong is healthy, not skinny.

I have two sons but if I had a daughter (and based on experience of being that young girl) I’d go with building get up - confidence wise and enabling her to feel strong.

Positive messaging is the key. Easy for me to say but keep digging at it. She will realise what’s important.

Ooof, that sounds hard. My son had a period of thinking he was plump, but we concentrated on Healthy Eating and Being Fit and it eventually passed. I suspect it's more of an issue with girls... (he also had an older brother, who is wider-built)

It sounds to me as if you're approaching it in the right way. Maybe emphasise, rather than the Not Eating whatever, the recommendations of things we should be eating? So many portions of whole grains, so many portions of vegetables, different types of protein etc. Especially if she's into sports - can you find things from the national organisations saying Eat More Eggs or something?

IME she has nothing to worry about - my two elder DC were both a bit 'rounded' at that age and by 14 had shot up and were very slim.

DD (11) is the same and I have no doubt she will shoot up over the next few months. Mine always go a bit chubbier before a massive growth spurt

there are two obviously anorexic girls in her year

Unless you know they're diagnosed, then this really is not something you should be saying.

Some girls are just very skinny at that age. My DD is and it sickens me that people comment on it...she's 11.

I do sympathise with you and your DD but the best thing you can do is ensure she never sees you commenting on anyone else's weight or your own and mind what she's viewing online.

Thank you Tooold, I will try to keep reinforcing about strong and healthy. We have never really focused on looks (I have tried to avoid talking about looks, focused more on trying your best, teamwork in football, etc), but have started to tell her that she is beautiful as she is. Might look into the fitness DVDs as well.

Stupid thing is, she is perfectly normal, possibly on the slim side. I am just worried about peer pressure, it seems to be a new topic among the girls, something I am very unhappy about

My 12 yo DS was really worried about that. He also had comments from kids at school (he’s well within normal weight range) I took him to the Doctors. Had him weighed and the Dr showed him where he was in the curve for weight. Totally in the middle. We also looked at his baby book and where he was when he was born. I’m not in the UK so I don’t know if a UK Dr would take the time to do this. It took someone outside the family telling my child there wasn’t a problem.

I think this is totally unacceptable of the school to divulge such information about these “skinny girls”. In the opposite argument, how do you know they are not divulging such information about the plumper children?
No reflection on you and obviously the info you have had had been helpful to you but this needs nipping in the bud with the school. Information like this shouldn’t be given

When you say you spoke to the school do you mean the class teacher? They shouldn’t be discussing the weight of other children. I know you said this but it is wrong that they did it.

But for your dd is focus on the everyone comes in different shapes line and food for energy to do stuff including exercise.

Wow I'm surprised school gave out confidental information about other pupils. Ds has some eating issues (that the school are aware of) alongside other difficulties and I would not be happy if the school were discussing him with another parent.

Can you encourage her to get into a sport? This may shift the focus from weight to fitness.

Life, thank you. She is into football, we may try to do some more.

Thank you everyone! I may ask to have this thread taken down... I worry about too identifying.

Just wanted to mention also that my mother took me to the doctors for a weigh in and this made me worse with secretive behaviour (this is a massive sign of anorexic tendencies). I think it’s a positive that you’re aware of your daughter and her needs.

All the best in sorting this out - from the sounds of it she’s in the right hands. Good luck