To think my partner has a responsibility when our child has a tantrum?

[CroissantwithCheese]

My partner and I have a 3 year old daughter who has regular tantrums. She is a very sweet and smart girl but is also incredibly strong willed, and has been since birth. She often refuses outright to do what we ask (eat, wear jacket etc.) and often has almighty meltdowns when she doesn’t get her way.

When this happens and both my partner and I are with her, he walks away, muttering about the noise or the tantrum. He does nothing to help. I am sick to the teeth of both hers and his bad behaviour and I want to get help for the family. He and I have terrible communication as it is and we need to learn how to cope with her behaviour better than we do.

AIBU to think that this is not just my responsibility, because of the fact that she acts up more when I’m there?

Maybe you should follow suit? I walk away from tantrums. When there's no audience they often peter out. Also, if she's tantruming so badly, it's not safe, you CAN say "You deal with this one" you know. Why haven't you mentioned it?

Ignoring a tantrum is generally the best strategy. Perhaps you could both walk away?

I'd also walk away with tantrums

Actually, ignoring a tantrum is one of the best things you can do.

However, walking away from her obviously only works when you're in your own home. Does he do this if she has a tantrum when you're out and about? If so, you both need to agree a plan of action (i.e. both take her straight to the car / home) and stick to it.

If you know you have communication difficulties then you need to work through them so that you can agree a strategy to present a united front when parenting. This is especially important when parents have different parenting approaches, as you seem to do.