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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Nothing like dipping your toe into online dating to make you miss your ex

38 replies

Really222 · 05/10/2019 13:51

Sad

This is probably the 4th time I have signed up, but I always delete my accounts.

The weirdest messages so far are either from people who are on the other side of the world, but apparently potentially willing to relocate for me and already pledging some kind of undying allegiance.

This person is apparently a widower but his wife “died in a car crash 6 years ago and he is over it” Confused.

Or the two jokers who have a friend who “saw my profile over their shoulder” (I signed up yesterday), who is widowed, and doesn’t want to do OLD. However here is his email address and he will email me photos Hmm.

Then there are the people who can’t write or spell, the one who made some lurid comment, the ones who are much older, lots more very earnest people who again seem to be willing to relocate...

I divorced my ex because he was emotionally abusive and in the end I had no choice, and even though for the last few years of our marriage he did not touch me, was regularly unkind, subjected me to endless silent treatments etc... this morning I really missed him Sad.

So it’s back to being single IMO. And aibu to think that almost anything is more interesting than talking to random strangers on OLD sites. Give me a good debate about politics on Mumsnet any day of the week.

Flowers to all the women (and men) who are on here, you are often articulate, interesting, clever, supportive, so thank you, I’ll be sticking to Mumsnet Grin.

OP posts:
MoreNiceCereal · 05/10/2019 15:32

A very thick skin, op. Very. But I haven't had a horrible time of it, really. It's not something to be embarrassed about, either. I see it as a modern solution to a modern problem. Meeting people in real life is hard.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 05/10/2019 15:40

You do need a thick skin for online dating! If you are someone that takes stuff to heart too easy or gets offended by a sleazy message it’s not for you.

Use the block button after 1 message you don’t like

Not everyone will be your cup of tea

Some weirdos are about, but you knew that about life anyway

Don’t talk for ages, it’s better to meet for a coffee/a rink ASAP and see if you have a real life spark

Of course there is good people than online date but just like real life you have to find them

Really222 · 05/10/2019 15:43

I am not sure I did know that about life actually - I think most people I have come across at work etc have been remarkably “normal”. Maybe online they would be different, who knows, since it gives them the cloak of some kind of anonymity. And I agree that some men view women on dating sites as being by definition “easy”.

OP posts:
familycourtq · 05/10/2019 18:55

Online dating is one of the most soul destroying things I have ever done

ConfusedAndStressed95 · 05/10/2019 19:00

I tried online dating but I had loads of creepy older guys messaging me constantly. It didn't matter how I wrote my profile or how many times I said that I wasn't interested in sex or hook ups. They kept coming.

Summerhillsquare · 05/10/2019 19:11

Try Bumble. Free, fairly civilised. But it is a numbers game.

Dieu · 05/10/2019 19:18

Aww Jesus ladies, don't get back with your exes just because the online dating is a pain. The issues from your previous relationships aren't going to magically disappear, just because you can't face being on your own.
Better to be alone in the short term, than with the wrong person for the long haul.
And this is a tough love comment from someone who is in exactly the same boat. Stay strong!

Newkitchen123 · 05/10/2019 19:27

I'm married
Met online
Very happy
It can work

Elieza · 05/10/2019 19:30

And what about the ones who messaged me to tell me how much they dislike my profile (generally too long or too wordy) and block me immediately after they send the message so I can’t reply to them that if it’s so bad why did you waste your time messaging me you weirdo...

Ebonyandivory2 · 05/10/2019 20:05

Oh my I’m hoping I don’t come across any creeps. My experience so far is positive but it’s only been one day 😬

balonzz · 05/10/2019 20:16

That's absolutely awful, @Elieza , what a nasty, calculated thing to do. And what a complete waste of time. I suspect that vile specimen has some mental health issues.

Flowersandthorns · 05/10/2019 21:05

I met my husband online - he was number 23 that I met!! Grin

MissConductUS · 06/10/2019 01:01

I met mine online too, but that was over 20 years ago and it was very early days for OLD.

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