Baby refuses bottles and food please help 😩

[babyrefusesfood]

I’m in desperate need of help.

My ten month old son is still exclusively breastfed. He’s enormous, on the 99th percentile. He refuses all bottles (formula, expressed milk, lots of different types of teats/bottles).

Very stressful as it is so time consuming and exhausting feeding such a demanding baby every 2 hours or so, round the clock, with no help because he won’t accept a bottle so no one can support the feeds.

I thought it would get easier when he weaned but we’ve run into even more problems. He gags on, then vomits up, everything - and I mean everything - that is not milk directly from my boob. Baby led weaning, purées, calpol, the lot.

No hcp is concerned because he’s so big so is ‘clearly getting what he needs from you, just keep it up, all babies are different and eat solids at different times, you’re doing a great job’.

I go back to work in eight
Weeks. In tears as I write this. What the actual hell do i do?

Sorry you are going through this. Does he feed himself water from a sippy cup/straw cup or anything like that? Say if you were sitting on the floor playing with him, eating something delicious like raspberries, would he come over and try to eat them?

@seabear11 thank you 😭 no he isn’t fussed with his cups. He gets excited at food, tries it, then gags and vomits! Every damn time! Then turns his head away because he’s understandably put off.

Have you tried leaving him with someone else and them feeding him?

Try Peer Group Feeding. When DS was a baby, he was EBF and did not take at all to weaning. I attended a Peer Group Feeding workshop at my local children's centre and he started eating well after that.

What is he like with yoghurt? My DD was a food refuser and mango yogurt was the first thing that she would willingly eat. It took months to get to that point though.

Sorry, I should have said DS started to eat well at 9 months. I was able to leave him at nursery without any milk (he also didn't take a bottle) at 11 months.

I’ve tried leaving him with people. He does the same with them and I return to a hysterical baby.

You name the food, I’ve tried it. The gagging seems involuntary, like they have a very sensitive gag reflux.

I’ve not heard of peer feeding sessions, will look to see if my area has any, thank you.

How long has he been feeding every 2 hours? That sounds like a baby kicking the supply up to the next level, so it may be short-lived.

You have 8 weeks till you go back to work; that is actually 20% of his whole life so far, and lots will change. Trust me, he won't be exclusively breastfed by his 18th birthday!

I think you can only keep offering tiny tastes of different foods and hope to hit on something he finds irresistible and keeps down. Try not to panic, though I know it's hard.

Enjoy your beautiful baby and make the most of your maternity leave. He will be a different baby by the time it finishes

I would try leaving him with someone for the day or possibly night if you can.

I had very similar problems with my little girl who is now 6. It was very stressful, and became more so as she got older. She developed a pretty marked aversion to everything bar the breast eventually unsurprisingly and it took a lot of work to improve things.

What helped most was a lot of messy play with things of different textures. Put on some old clothes or turn on the heat and strip him off! Fill bowls with porridge, Rice Krispies, edible slime etc and let him play with it. Don’t worry if he eats or not, it’s about familiarising him with texture.

Most kids with texture issues or sensory aversions do well starting with things like Ella’s melts/bamba crisps. Have you tried those?

There’s a website run by an American occupational therapist who specialises in feeding issues who has some useful advice.

When you go back to work will he be going to nursery? I found nursery really good at helping with messy play etc. My DD was quite extreme and only really got started eating at around 2 but she now eats a good balanced diet. It was hard when I went back to work (she was 10 months) but we muddled through.

DS was very like this, until about the same age. Don't panic, which is hard to do I know, He was my second and even then I found it stressful.

Give him every opertunity to play with his cup. Feed him when you eat, make food as soft as you can. He's either getting to enuthisatic and trying to get to much in or he's still got quite a strong gage reflex. Try really small amounts at a time on his plate.

You could try a spoon to with yogart.

Remember 8 week's is a long time for a 10 month old. Things cana totally change in that time so try not to panic about work yet.

Have you seen a Dr about the vomiting, there must be an issue there surely? I find health visitors are all very lovely but unfortunately not extremely helpful. Try and see someone on Monday, it's not normal. It doesn't sound like an allergy if he's not bringing up your milk. Have you tried expressed milk in a bottle or cup? He'll be getting low in iron if he's not taking any food, you could give him a vitamin supplement if he'll take it. 8 weeks is still a while so keep trying things, try dipping teat of bottle in breast milk and give it to him when he's not hungry and is happy. I can't get my baby to take dummy or bottle so I know where you're coming from!! Does he take a dummy? My friends all rave about mam teats but mine doesn't like anything. Can he keep tiny amounts of anything down, bananas are good for sensitive tummies, can he suck some off your finger? Sorry, I'm not much help!

I exclusively breastfed (partly because DS was also a bottle refuser) and had similar issues. He refused puree, or anything other than breastmilk for a long time. He started off pulling faces and spitting it out and then just outright refusing to open his mouth. He was also healthy weight and size.
Please don't worry too much. Instead of offering puree I did baby led weaning, so put lots of different food on his plate. Bits of waffle, toast, crumpet, soft carrot, broccoli, anything really! As long as it was fairly soft. He eventually started to eat more but he never really ate baby food. He just didnt want to be 'fed' bottle or spoon!!
Once he realised how nice yoghurt was he let me feed him that on a spoon.
There are parts of Europe where people (Italy maybe? Can't remember) dont start weaning till closer to a year old. Breastmilk can still provide what your baby needs.
When you go back to work are you doing long hours?
You will probably find his behaviour will change in the next 2 months anyway but just keep persevering with different things.
I actually started on those baby crisp (carrot wotsit things) he loved them and it got him used to the texture of food.
He is now 3 and a great eater!

@NearlyGranny I wish it was a phase, he’s been the same since he was born. He’s just massive. I am indeed panicking :(

@Rinceoir that sounds like what I’m facing. I feel so overwhelmed. Yes it will be nursery. I’m so scared I’m going to be giving them a baby who will dehydrate and starve themselves!

My eldest was like this and he ended up eating when I went to work, but not when I was looking after him! I carried on breastfeeding and he naturally weaned but just a bit later (around 14 months but like I said he was eating solids when I was at work). He eats everything now and isn't fussy. I made sure I didn't make it an issue for him as so many kids get hung up about eating. He did it in his own time. My other 3 children were variable but all are more before him.

Thanks for all help will try to respond. Really appreciate people trying to help.

He won’t take mam teats, dummies, melts crisps, soft food, yoghurt, etc etc etc. Won’t keep vitamin supplements down. Even have to use paracetamol suppositories because he vomits calpol back up!!

I know a lot can change in eight weeks but because nothings changed in so long I literally feel the panic rising when I think about going back to work which, yes, will be long hours.

I’ve spent weeks expressing to try delivering it in differently modes and it’s all gone to waste.

Oh and yes he’s my second too so this has thrown me for a complete loop!

Just remember that some babies sleep 13 hours at night without eating or drinking- he’ll be fine! If it helps at all DD is currently eating a perfectly normal diet, it just took a bit longer than usual.

Op this would concern me, id be getting a referral to peads. Hope you're all doing ok soon

Does he take a dummy? There are dummies where the teats have holes in, you can put food inside them.. the holes aren't big enough for food to get through obviously, but when he bites/sucks on it he's get a taste of the food.

If you can find food he likes through this, he might be more open to eating it without the dummy in future. You can put fruit/veg in it etc.

My DS wasn't a big eater & lived off breast milk at this stage (also never took a bottle). He just made up for it when i got back from work. It did mean he was hungry at times though.
We also experienced the same issue with Calpol etc.

But the consistent vomiting and gagging sounds quite exceptional. I would expect a health visitor to be giving you more support and I think you should be calling them again. I'm sure he'll be fine & change loads in the next couple of months but your anxiety over it also means extra support is needed.

Does he like the taste of other foods?

This sounds very like my dd was. The only thing she would keep down was breast milk, and she projectile vomited anything else, even calpol. I eventually saw a paediatrician at the hospital, who diagnosed some sort of reflux and prescribed gaviscon. I was really sceptical at first, but it was a total game changer, so maybe worth asking your doctor about?

The doctor I’ve seen was very unconcerned. Sounds like I need to push for a referral maybe?

Sorry to hear of others who’ve struggled but a bit glad my son isn’t the only one with this.

I’m so sorry you’re struggling with weaning. My DD was a big puker and had a really sensitive gag reflex til well over 1 year old. She’s now 2.5 and completely fine but it was very stressful for me. Sounds like he’s keen to try foods which is good - have you tried watering (with ebm/milk/water) the purées/yogurt so they are a drinkable consistency? Thinner foods might trigger his gag less. Also playing with spoons/teethers on an empty stomach might help a bit. Or feeding even from a spoon?

I probably would also speak to your gp as well though. Although he’s doing fine on bm now you might want a referral to check there are no underlying tongue/mouth/throat issues.

Hope things improve soon. As PP have said he can fill up after and before nursery so he’s unlikely to starve