AIBU to ask for your advise

[rm102]

Hi, long time lurker first time poster.
I have no-one to turn to and have''t even got this straight in my own head so please bare with me and I will try not to drip feed.
I have a friend who I have know for 20 years we met when I we were in primary school.
He is male and we have been very close since day one. He moved away a few years ago but regularly visits and sometimes stays over at my place. He came yesterday for a visit that was pre arranged and is due to go back on Sunday.
I live in a city and have a small apartment and we have always shared a bed our relationship is completely platonic or so I thought.
last night we went to bed at the same time as usual and watched a film then went to sleep all fine.
at about 3am this morning I was awoken to him removing my night clothes. I asked him what he was doing but he told me be shhh it would be nice. I must admit at this point a froze I couldn't speak move anything, I don't know what happened I just found myself completely frozen unable to do anything.
the friend then proceeded to sleep with me (something that has never happened In our 20 years of friendship not even mentioned.) so I am in complete shock. I didn't want it to happen however did not tell him to stop.
I don't know why I am tell you all this I just do not know what to do or even how I feel about it. he is currently out with other friends in the area and the only communication I received from him today was a text saying I hope you enjoyed as much as I did.
I feel so stupid for not stopping him but I physically couldn't move. I now feel sick at the thought of it and the thought of him coming back tonight. I missed work today due to being very confused and unable to think clearly.
could I asked for your advice

Please don’t feel dirty or that you’ve done anything at all wrong, OP. Whether you told him to stop or not, none of this is remotely your fault. Please try and remember that this is 100% him.

Please don’t speak to him because you feel you should, only do what you’re comfortable with.

Do you have any friends of family nearby that might come and sit with you, if you don’t want to be alone? Or that you could stay with if staying in your bed doesn’t feel possible right now?

I don't have contact with my family due to past with them and I dont know how to tell anyone this out loud.....I haven't slept since I am exhausted but I can not switch off i am hoping that I fall asleep tonight due to being so tired however my sofa is so uncomfortable I dont know if I can.....I just can't enter my room the bedding needs to be thrown but I can not enter I tried earlier but just could not breath and went dizzy as soon as i went in there.....I feel such an idiot

Make the sofa as comfortable as you possibly can, extra blankets and cushions if you have them, maybe take your duvet and pillows out of the covers and use those if you think you could manage to run in and grab them? And would feel comfortable using them. Hopefully tiredness will take over and you’ll get some rest.

Is there someone you would tell if you felt able to? Could you perhaps show them this thread if so? Then you don’t have to say it out loud yet.

Please don’t feel like an idiot, you’re really not, you’ve been through something awful and of course terribly unexpected, there’s no right or wrong way to react. What you’re going through is completely normal.

I can't thank you all enough for all the advice and understanding I have no one really in the real world I'd be able to talk this through with all of your support and advice has really meant so much. I haven't responded to him since asking for him to stay elsewhere he is still contacting me but now he is getting angry and said he feels hurt that I would do this to him. I feel awful but I dont understand how he thought that is what I wanted he seems so upset with me but I just can't face talking to him right now

Don’t reply to him at all but keep all the messages. Then if you do report it you have them.