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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To tell them?

23 replies

lilyboleyn · 04/10/2019 16:04

I’m signed off work with stress due to a bullying line manager. Union involved and supportive. Doctor wrote on my note I can attend interviews elsewhere. I have an interview in two weeks. I have to tell the new place, right? How can i word it without sounding like I’m bitching about previous employer and without looking like a liability?

OP posts:
Lifeisabeach09 · 04/10/2019 16:14

I don't know--do you have to tell them at the interview about being signed off sick at present? You may go back to work your notice. I'm not sure I'd mention until after a job offer.
They may ask you why you are leaving--spin things positively.

MmmBlowholes · 04/10/2019 16:24

I've never told an employer I'm going for an interview

Aliceinunderland · 04/10/2019 16:29

I was interviewed and given my current job whilst on sick leave from my previous employer. I didnt tell my employer at the time as it's not classed as work. I did tell my prospective employer that I was on sick leave as I knew it would come up anyway on a reference. I just highlighted what I had learnt and would take forward into the new role (I was signed off due to depresion/anxiety) and pointed out that I had a previously excellent sickness record before that.

ItsMilkAndEggsBitch · 04/10/2019 16:31

I have just been through this. Got signed off sick due to issues with other members of staff, attended interviews and got given a new job while I was signed off. I just didn't tell the new job that I was off and told my reason of leaving as i wanted a new challenge.
I handed in my last sick note into my old employer along with my notice to leave at the end of the sick period. It was glorious and I I am much happier in my new workplace.

lilyboleyn · 04/10/2019 17:21

Won’t it look bad on me if new employer finds out I’m off sick and I haven’t said?

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ItsMilkAndEggsBitch · 05/10/2019 07:52

Unless there is someone else who will give you a ref?

Hahaha88 · 05/10/2019 07:57

It would definitely look bad. I'd be completely honest with the new employer

NoSauce · 05/10/2019 07:59

Won’t they ask about your present employment situation?

joystir59 · 05/10/2019 08:07

How serious is your illness? If ongoing how are you going to start a new job?

joystir59 · 05/10/2019 08:08

I wouldn't employ someone if I found out they were off work with stress and involved in Union action.

joystir59 · 05/10/2019 08:09

My advice would be to get back to work and continue your job search

Sleepyquest · 05/10/2019 08:13

Hmm I think I wouldn't tell them unless they asked. That way I'm not lying, I'm just not being forthcoming with info. If they offered and subsequently found out as your work place told them, you could then have a conversation if it was an issue for them.

I went off sick after I was offered a new job but I don't think my now current job found out.

custardbear · 05/10/2019 08:15

Go to the interview and don't say anything, say you're looking for progression if they ask why you're leaving but I doubt they would

Be positive don't say negative things

It's likely they'll get references afterwards and if it comes up tell them it was due to bullying in the workplace

Have you been to HR about the bullying? I'd perhaps confide in them if you get the job and ask about references if they would supply one and if it mentions sickness can they say it's confirmed bullying

Be brave, go get that job!

lilyboleyn · 05/10/2019 08:15

Current employer HAS to be used as a reference.
Joystir59 can’t tell tone from your message. I wish it was as simple as get back to work and look for employment.

OP posts:
StillCoughingandLaughing · 05/10/2019 08:18

Won’t it look bad on me if new employer finds out I’m off sick and I haven’t said?

It’s not as if you’re concealing a condition that affects your ability to work. I’d keep quiet.

HouseOfGingerbread · 05/10/2019 08:19

Don't tell them at the interview, do tell them if you're offered the job. They won't normally ask for references until they have your verbal acceptance in my experience.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 05/10/2019 08:20

Current employer HAS to be used as a reference.

Your current employer will almost certainly provide nothing more than confirmation of your job title and dates of employment.

lilyboleyn · 05/10/2019 08:23

Thanks guys. Feeling a bit better. References almost certainly taken before interview but I suppose they’ll ask me and I will tell them if they mention it...

OP posts:
lilyboleyn · 05/10/2019 08:24

And no HR here...

OP posts:
MakeItRain · 05/10/2019 08:51

You have a choice here. You either go into the interview with a confident air and answer all the questions about your current role as if the bullying situation wasn't happening. So just refer to aspects you like. Talk about relationships being important to you etc. Then tackle the situation when the references are given.

Or you mention it in the interview. If you do I would do it after you've had the chance to talk confidently about your roles and responsibilities and aspects of the job you're good at and that you love. Then say that for the first time in your employment history you've found a relationship with a line manager difficult and that it hasn't been anything you've experienced before. Turn it into a positive and say it's encouraged you to look for a company that values work relationships where you can continue to work on a job you love as your work is important to you, and in previous companies you've always enjoyed your workplace relationships. I wouldn't dwell at all on the specifics of the bullying.

Moondust001 · 05/10/2019 09:01

I wouldn't employ someone if I found out they were off work with stress and involved in Union action.

Why not? That statement says a lot about you and nothing about the person you might be employing.

OP, you do not need to mention sickness or anything else at interview. An employer should not ask you either, as they should not ask about sickness unless and until they make an offer - if they are going to ask at all. Some employers ask as part of the reference process. I would be discussing it with them if an offer were made, but only in respect of your sickness record, why it won't affect effect taking up a new job, and nothing else. Whether the union is involved is none of their business and they don't need to know. Keep to the bare details - you are signed off due to your being bullied and the impact that has had on you, you are trying to resolve the issues but you want a new start.

If anyone takes the view expressed by that poster, consider it a lucky escape to not get the job.

lilyboleyn · 05/10/2019 10:25

Thanks for the advice. Am at a really low point atm and appreciate the supportive answers.

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joystir59 · 05/10/2019 16:21

I wouldn't employ someone if I found out they were off work with stress and involved in Union action. Why not? That statement says a lot about you and nothing about the person you might be employing
Because I would want someone who was fit to work! Because I'd have a job that needed doing FFS!

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