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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to offer guests leftovers?

35 replies

PralineCookie · 04/10/2019 15:18

I had a smallish party this week. There was quite a bit of left over buffet food left so I offered to it to my guests. It was some chicken, ham, curry, mixed grain salad et, Some cake etc.

One friend said later that she never offers leftovers to guests because it makes it look as though they're poor and need the food. I've never heard anyone express that sentiment before. It's the norm at parties I've attended.

They were good quality leftovers and hadn't been picked over by people. It wasn't scraps and had been stored and served correctly. Not left out for hours.

AIBU to think that it isn't rude to offer people leftovers?

OP posts:
WeirdCatLady · 04/10/2019 15:20

I would just think you didn’t want it to go to waste so I would have taken a nice plateful home with me.

InOtterNews · 04/10/2019 15:22

Not at all - I always offer food to guests to take home.

pumkinspicetime · 04/10/2019 15:25

Offering food in that situation is fine. DC would cry if I gave away cake so we don't. But dc happily leave with offerings.

Once they were particularly ecstatic to be offered left over fancy wedding cupcakes at a hotel we staying at by the wedding family.

Mrsjayy · 04/10/2019 15:26

It isa totally normal thing to offer, it is your friend that is being weird about it of course you don't think your friends are poor and can't feed themselvdx

Mrsjayy · 04/10/2019 15:27

Urgh typos but you catch my drift Confused

managedmis · 04/10/2019 15:31

Why would you not do this? Otherwise it'll go to waste?

She sounds very puritan

Icantthinkofanewname87 · 04/10/2019 15:32

I’d love you forever if you gave me leftovers!

SantaIsReal · 04/10/2019 15:33

I've never heard of anyone being offended by this! If anything, I would be offended if I wasn't allowed to take the leftover home haha!

Total norm to offer out leftover buffet food Smile

IHaveBrilloHair · 04/10/2019 15:34

I'd quite happily accept.

Mummyshark2018 · 04/10/2019 15:41

I always try and offload leftovers otherwise I'd just pig out and eat it all!

Rachelover60 · 04/10/2019 15:45

I'd have taken a nice plate home with me and been very glad to do so. Your friend has odd ideas, you're not suggesting your friends are hard up and need hand outs, it's just better than wasting and means you don't over fill your freezer.

Please don't worry about it, people do think strange things at times but she may not think it in future.

Bluntness100 · 04/10/2019 15:45

Sounds like your friend has a chip on her shoulder. Is she suggesting you thought she was poor and needed the food? Or she felt she was behaving like she was because she didn't offer it?

ChippyMinton · 04/10/2019 15:49

Ridiculous and wasteful. We have a stack of takeaway containers on hand for this very purpose. An extra portion of dinner, chunks of cake, slices of turkey and ham etc.

AMonkeysMummy · 04/10/2019 15:49

I would be more than happy to take her share of the leftovers 👍

fifig87 · 04/10/2019 15:52

I always plate up leftovers. Seems wasteful not to if you know it won't get eaten by your own family.

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 04/10/2019 15:52

My DH’s family is like this - i’ve offered in the past to take dessert to lunch and DH explained to me not to do that as in his mum’s eyes i’m Implying that she couldn’t afford dessert.

Irony is that when we go for lunch at hers we leave with a bag of leftovers from her

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 04/10/2019 15:53

Totally normal, surely better than going to waste?!
I'd happily take any leftovers offered my way.... Grin

Hullygully · 04/10/2019 15:54

I think it's a lovely thing to do, I'd be delighted. I had dinner at a friend's recently and it was delicious and there was tons left and I was thinking, oh please ask me if I want to take some home!

Intruiged · 04/10/2019 15:55

I always happily take leftovers and offer them out too. Would never have crossed my mind to think anyone would ever relate them to financial circumstances.

Bouledeneige · 04/10/2019 15:58

My best friend is in the cupboard getting my Tupperware out before I've barely finished offering the leftovers! And I always do this after I've hosted a big family party.

Your friend is uptight and over sensitive. Ignore.

Molly2017 · 04/10/2019 16:00

Assuming they were poor?! That belongs with arriving at someone’s house with wet hair is rude!

When we eat at Dsis’s house we ask for ‘takeaway’. Always. We love her food and she doesn’t mind. I’d take it as a compliment if they said yes.

CalmdownJanet · 04/10/2019 16:01

Your friend is ridiculous

Mrsjayy · 04/10/2019 16:07

Thinking about it my mum is a bit like that she would do adramatic "nono im fine let somebody else have it" . Clearly it didn't rub off because I love a buffet and gladly take it off your hands.

Anonanonanonanonanonanonanon · 04/10/2019 16:16

I thought your question meant you were feeding your guests leftovers (which I would only do, by the way, if it was nice stuff and not obviously leftovers). Absolutely nothing wrong with what you did.

Arriving with wet hair though, @Molly2017 ? Bad form.

Mephisto · 04/10/2019 16:18

I misread that at first, I thought you fed guests leftovers from the night before!

Omg of course that’s fine. In some cultures it’s expected you’ll send them off with a box of leftovers.

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