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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off when thread is removed

40 replies

BeerandBiscuits · 04/10/2019 12:46

because "some of the replies upset the OP".
Many posters spend time trying to help, of course some pile in and go OTT but that's par for the course on AIBU.
If threads stay they're useful for others in a similar situation who don't have the confidence to start their own.
The OP can stop reading the thread, or hide it. It's easy, I've done it myself when replies have wound me up.
Surely Mumsnet HQ could explain this to the poster rather than deleting everything and losing all the useful stuff?

OP posts:
murmuration · 05/10/2019 11:13

It looks like maybe the @ thing makes it hard to ignore? I remember one thread where OP said she was hiding, but people kept tagging her and she came back and said she had hid the thread but kept getting emails. If that’s true I’d suggest hiding should disable tagging too.

DamonSalvatoresDinner · 05/10/2019 11:30

I had one removed once because all was just fine with helpful answers and one person (who I now realise is just a GFer on here) came along and changed the context to a twisted one (projecting their own issues I presume) and it changed the whole thread into a nasty vile attack on the subject when I, as the original poster, had already clearly stated the details, I knew the story and yet my OP was turned into something horrible which a mob pounced on.

I was bloody glad when it was pulled at my request because it was vile and hiding it didn't mean it didn't exist.

Original poster
BeerandBiscuits · 05/10/2019 11:32

Perhaps there's a way M'net could allow OPs to permanently hide a thread (so they can't unhide it), as well as disable tagging.

OP posts:
DamonSalvatoresDinner · 05/10/2019 11:36

@WillLokireturn yes, "wilful misinterpretation" is definitely something I have seen over and over in AIBU. The commenter knows full well that thats not what the OP meant but will run with it and that will encourage others to do so too.

Lex234 · 05/10/2019 11:40

Maybe there needs to be a "condone whatever I'm doing" sub

@SnuggyBuggy as a light hearted sub that would probably be comedy gold

BloggersBlog · 05/10/2019 11:41

I have never seen MN state the reason for a thread being deleted as "some of the replies upset the OP" Hmm?
Have seen loads of threads deleted as I agree it is really annoying. If you think the thread may identify you in RL then what the heck are you posting it for in the first place? So stupid.
I am sure there must be some reasons why it is sensible for threads to get deleted, but stupidity shouldnt be one.
Presume before you post that the DMail will get hold of it, and if you dont want that then dont waste our time post!

ElizaDee · 05/10/2019 11:49

Yanbu. They should just lock the threads so no further posts can be made.

callmeadoctor · 05/10/2019 11:54

I do think that some of the language on AIBU is over the top. Would love Mumsnet to maybe do something about that.

Grimbles · 05/10/2019 11:57

I think trolling ones should be locked or moved to a read only forum to prevent further attempts.

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 05/10/2019 12:00

They started the thread, I think it's fair that they are allowed to get it removed.

LolaSmiles · 05/10/2019 12:05

lex234
Yes! Less AIBU and more "please tell me I am reasonable".

BloggersBlog
Usually they seem to word it as "OP has some concerns / not in the spirit of the site", but anyone who has followed the thread can see that actually the OP had come back, argued over everything, changed details each time they hadn't got the responses they wanted etc.

Eg. Posts a situation where they're clearly being unreasonable, it's around the 3rd thread on this issue or a similar one, people have already given advice multiple times. Consensus seems to be the OP is unreasonable. By page 4, the OP has drip fed new (sometimes even irrelevant) information, redesigned their description of their DP/DH to make him sound abusive or controlling in order to get the response they want, posters change their advice in light of the drip feed (usually to say "in this situation YABU still but if what you say is true about your DP then really this isn't a healthy relationship at all). The OP gets annoyed because their DP is a wonderful partner and dad, and everyonr on MN is mean.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 05/10/2019 12:17

I do think that some of the language on AIBU is over the top. Would love Mumsnet to maybe do something about that.

Do you mean swearing? Or people claiming they would be ‘livid’ at the slightest thing, or throwing terms like ‘toxic’ around willy-nilly?

Chickenwing · 05/10/2019 12:20

Yes so annoyed. I put a lot of effort and thought into my responses on a post last night to help an OP which has disappeared this morning.

minesagin37 · 05/10/2019 12:55

Sometimes you post about something that's an issue for you but may seem trivial to others and you get a pile of abuse. Some people just seem angry at the world.

callmeadoctor · 06/10/2019 14:19

Yep, not keen on the overuse of the "C" word for instance. (But I guess I'm in the minority)

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