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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the “breastfeed and the weight will fall off” thing is a load of shite?

154 replies

Pantalaimon88 · 04/10/2019 10:47

I have an 11 month old. I was sold the whole “BF makes you lose the baby weight!” I lost an initial stone in the weeks post baby, which I’m guessing was fluid. Since then, I have maintained and I’m 1.5 stone heavier than pre pregnancy.

I log my food intake and try to keep it as low as I can, but from experience if I drop below 1700 cals a day, I feel very lightheaded and unwell. Pre pregnancy I’d eat 2000cals a day and easily maintain my weight. I go on walks with the buggy, I spent 3 months religiously pounding on an exercise bike during DC’s naps, lost not a single lb. It actually feels as though my body is holding onto the extra weight deliberately.

I’m so depressed by it all, I hate my body. I was going to BF to natural term but I’m considering stopping when DC is 1, mainly for this reason. Nothing I do seems to change my body in any way. I thought once DC was eating proper food and BF dropped significantly, perhaps it would pick up. It hasn’t.

Has anyone else found this?

OP posts:
Original poster
Pantalaimon88 · 04/10/2019 10:49

And please don’t bother with the typical MN competitive non-eating and the “you just need to eat less! I ate 2 lettuce leaves and a plum a day whilst breastfeeding triplets and kept my weight down.” As I’ve said, if I drop below 1700 I feel unwell. Those kind of comments aren’t helpful.

OP posts:
kimlo · 04/10/2019 10:51

I lost loads of weight as soon as I stopped bf, until then it was impossible.

MindyStClaire · 04/10/2019 10:52

I found BFing made me ravenous and the sleepless nights reduced my willpower to nil, so I ate an obscene amount. I only put on half a stone, so yes, I think if I'd eaten anywhere near normally I would've lost weight. Two friends lost a lot, one a dangerous amount and was under strict instructions to up her calories by her GP. I was kinda jealous of that I admit!

Basically, BFing does use up plenty of calories so you will either need to eat more than usual to match it or you'll lose weight. But if you're not feeling well enough to do that, that's ok. Don't be too hard on yourself, the first year is really tough and if a little weight gain is the price to pay to keep healthy and sane, that's not the end of the world. Flowers

Cannyhandleit · 04/10/2019 10:54

100% bollocks!

CuteOrangeElephant · 04/10/2019 10:55

I did lose all my weight plus an extra stone, I was just very lucky I think!

My tummy is a horror show though that no amount of weight loss will fix. My toddler is obsessed with it and wants to cuddle it all the time so at least someone gets to enjoy it Grin

For all their cuteness they do ruin your body!

You don't have to justify stopping breastfeeding, just not wanting it anymore is a good enough reason. Making it to 1 year is amazing!

Teddybear45 · 04/10/2019 10:55

What was your activity like pre-pregnancy? If you were maintaining on 2,000 calories then you must have been more active in your normal day to day non-exercise routine?

Also I know a lot of people think they help, but I find that buggy walks are not as good at burning calories as unassisted walking. I gained weight when I started to take care of my DN and it was mainly because I had replaced regular walking with buggy walking - I found putting her in a carrier and walking normally really, really helped. It engaged my whole body.

Also, how are you monitoring your calories - do you weigh food? Have you been tested for hormonal conditions like underactive thyroid / PCOS?

thenewaveragebear1983 · 04/10/2019 10:56

I agree, I never lost weight breastfeeding although I only managed 12 weeks With each of mine. I suppose it's a combination of tiredness, being very sedentary (my overwhelming memory of breastfeeding was being pinned to a sofa for hours at a time pointing at things to be passed to me Grin), and the hormones making your body hold onto an amount of fat as back up (I recall reading it's about 10lbs average, an evolutionary thing I guess for times of famine)

I do have a few friends who went the other way, very rapidly dropped weight and went very gaunt, but they were the ones who didn't gain much in pregnancy and/or were very thin the start with.

Well done for doing 11 months Star

Pukkaorange · 04/10/2019 11:00

I lost alot. V hungry baby who some weeks put 1lb on in a week. I was a bit overweight when I got pregnant and had to buy at least 1 size smaller than my pre-pregnancy clothes when I was bf'ing. Never been that size since I stopped bf'ing except for when I went on a VLCD!

Pukkaorange · 04/10/2019 11:01

I did also walk alot as had a section so keen to get back up and out and kept that up

Cwoffee · 04/10/2019 11:11

I've breastfed two babies now and both times I've been back to pre-pregnancy weight by the time the babies were 6 months old even though I was eating more than I would normally. However, what I did notice was that even though my weight was back to normal pretty quickly, my body stored fat in places where I'd never really stored fat before, mainly around my upper thighs, and it wasn't until I stopped breastfeeding that I was able to shift the fat there. So I can believe that for some people, despite eating healthily, breastfeeding doesn't really aid weight loss.

DariaMorgendorffer · 04/10/2019 11:22

Think it depends on the person. It worked for me, but I piled the weight back on afterwards anyway Sad

OpportunityKnocks · 04/10/2019 11:22

With my first i lost loads when I went dairy free.

With my second nothing. I have been eating like a horse though.

thundercats192 · 04/10/2019 11:25

I gained 3 stone during pregnancy and lost 4 stone easily within one year with breastfeeding, leaving me the slimmest I'd ever been (7st10).

No dieting, I was eating pretty much whatever I wanted, and no exercise bar walking and the occasional swim. I did have oversupply in the first few months so maybe burned more calories from BF than others might, but it certainly led to easy weight loss for me.

After one year when DC was BF quite a lot less and my supply dropped I stopped losing weight.

DonPablo · 04/10/2019 11:25

Never lost a pound while bf! Bf one dc for 13 months and another for 8 months. If anything I put weight on! I feel your pain.

Whatsername7 · 04/10/2019 11:25

I couldnt lose the weight whilst bf. Restricting calories affected my milk supply. I got to 5.5 months and then weaned (not just because of my weight, I was going back to work so switched her from ebf to mixed to ff slowly.) The propaganda surrounding bf is shit. It is hard work and it isnt a miracle cure all. More honesty would support mothers to breastfeed, the lies just make more women feel like failures.

Bloodycats · 04/10/2019 11:25

Well it worked for me, sorry. I was always at my slimmest whilst bf. As soon as I stopped the weight crept back on.

Why do you hate your body? Is this your first child? I really sympathise with you, personally I completely lost my sense of self and struggled to accept the way motherhood changed my body. I felt so frumpy and meh.
Your baby is still so young and dependent on you. You will get yourself back in time but in the meantime try and talk to yourself positively and look for things you do like about your body.

Original poster
Pantalaimon88 · 04/10/2019 11:26

What was your activity like pre-pregnancy? If you were maintaining on 2,000 calories then you must have been more active in your normal day to day non-exercise routine?

You have a good point. I’d usually walk to and from work every day and gym a few times a week which I just don’t have the time for now. I’m back at work soon and hoping to walk there again.

My weight gain is so weird, sideways on I don’t look big. My tummy is fairly flat and my legs are slim. But from the front or the back, I just look so wide. Wide hips, no waist, wide back.

OP posts:
Justgorgeous · 04/10/2019 11:27

I ate so much when I breastfed as was really hungry but tried to eat relatively healthy, lots of protein and wholewheat pasta. I stopped at 14 months then lost a stone in 6 months. Just go with it - the weight will come off.

eurochick · 04/10/2019 11:27

I couldn't shift the weight until I stopped breastfeeding. It's logical that your body clings on to its fat stores so you can sustain yourself plus another human in times of shortage.

Manicpixiedreambitch · 04/10/2019 11:28

Absolutely.

Just stopping BFing my third at 15 months and I've only just begun to see the fat around my stomach reduce and I've been sensible with what I eat and drink. Was the same with the other two children too.

Celebelly · 04/10/2019 11:29

Yeah I just keep losing and gaining the same pound. I mentioned it to the doctor and she kind of laughed and said the weight loss thing is a bit of a myth sadly because for some reason, breastfeeding actually makes it harder to lose weight. Soooo I'm just going to be festively plump till she stops or reduces enough to kick start things and worry about it then.

Celebelly · 04/10/2019 11:29

*for some people; not reason

Darkstar4855 · 04/10/2019 11:30

I lost weight in the first three months because I was too tired to nap and walked miles trying to get him to nap. Then put it all back on over the next three months as things got easier.

I’m now back to pre-pregnancy weight at 10 months but only a result of 16:8 intermittent fasting and lots of walking with him in the sling. Breastfeeding definitely doesn’t make you lose weight - I had to really work at it!

Darkstar4855 · 04/10/2019 11:30

*too tired to eat!

wigglybeezer · 04/10/2019 11:31

I just went back to normal with my first but I did end up a stone down after feeding my second but I was running about after a two year old at the same time rather than feeding and watching daytime TV!
Some of my friends had the same experience as you, only losing weight when they stopped, I wonder if its a genetic thing, it seemed to be 50/50 maintainers versus losers from my experience.