Can I go without my 18 month old dd?

[Breastfeedingworries]

I’m posting for traffic. 👍🏻

I’m really unsure about whether I can or should do this so I’m wanting advice.

Before my baby was born (I was newly pregnant and naive) I was invited to go to an abroad wedding in Jamaica in may 2019 for 16 days. I was invited as close friends plus one and I know the family.

My dd will be 18 months at the time of the holiday. I’m a single parent (her dad is very involved and seen her every week set times and days) I didn’t think of the holiday again and put it out of my mind but as the months have gone by LO is so independent. She’s done everything early, we go to so many groups, she’s around strangers and different family every week. She’s been staying over night since 9 months old, every other Saturday. I breast fed until 6 months so didn’t consider it then (I need to change my username!)

I’ve dared to hope it could be a possiblty. It’s a once in a life time holiday, first class flights, first class accommodation all paid for. I’ve got enough notice that her dad could book the time off work. :/

She will be so young and not know where I am! That’s the thing am I really selfish wanting to do this? :( I’d also love the break! Doing everything on my own is so hard. Would it be too cruel though to leave her 16 days? Would it do too much damage?

Thanks let me know your thoughts

Have you ever videocalled her when she's with her father? Could this help "fill the gap" while you are away?

Go. Plenty of time yet to build up staying with her dad.

Make sure you arrange to WhatsApp/Skype every day

Definitely try that before you go. I can’t do that with one of mine as they get really upset seeing me and not being able to get hugs so it would be unfair on her to do it everyday.

Test it so that you know before you go if that’s possible

I must be a terrible mother because I'd already be at the airport.

Speak to her dad, get his opinion. Decide together. Is there someone else she could stay with if not? You could build up to 16 days with some practice.

Some of these replies are making my toes curl!

Go.

I wouldn't go for 16 days. I would go for a week, maybe 9 days tops. 16 days seems too much at that age.

Definitely go! Try leaving her with dad for longer periods beforehand, more for your benefit so you know she's fine. You'd be mad to miss out on it and being with her dad isn't going to do her any harm at all. Will he be willing to take the time off?

She'll be with her Dad, she'll be fine
Go and have a lovely trjo

I'd definitely go (and left my 2 DS with OH regularly when they were younger than your DD for work abroad). Just build up to it and if you need her to be less reliant on you in certain areas just make sure that happens slowly. It would also be a fab break and you'd probably enjoy being mum all over again.

I would go. She sounds like she’ll be in good hands.

Talk to her dad now, ask him how he feels because having her looked after is what's going to dictate you going in reality. FWIW I would happily go, and in May my son will be 10 months

I think you should go. It will be fine. xx

Go, OP. Your baby will be fine with her loving father.

It sounds amazing, I’d go for it, just building up the time your DD spends with her dad between now and then.

I wouldn't go for that long without having had at least a week as a trial run beforehand, and quite a few weekends etc so she's totally used to it.

It's a pretty long time for that age. She won't understand why you're away for so long so unless she's totally confident at being with her dad for more than a couple of nights I think it would be a pretty bad experience for her.

Go, her Dad sounds more than capable and like other suggest build up to it beforehand. You can Skype/FT so she can see you while away.

If it was me I’d probably look into whether the flights could be changed to around 10 days or so.

@ChilledBee 😂

@ChilledBee 😂

Go and enjoy yourself. Your daughter will be absolutely fine with just her dad.