Common courtesy

[StarB3]

So just a little thing that's bugging me. Workmates arranged a weekend away for one of their birthdays. I was originally asked to go but didn't hear anymore about it. Now found out that they have planned the weekend away without mentioning it to me and I'm working all that weekend to cover them. I knew I would probably have to cover that weekend anyway, but the fact they didn't even mention it to me and say 'so this is happening, is that ok with you', I think personally is a bit shit. AIBU?

How did you respond when they invited you?

Well when they first asked you to go what did you say ?! Perhaps they thought you weren't interested - but They invited u

How horrible Star. People can be such selfish bastards. Can you slowly poison them all??

Did you say you wanted to go?

You were asked.
You didn't hear more about it.
And you didnt say, hey, what's happening with the trip, or, hey, who is covering while we go away or, God forbid, what can I do to help re this trip
You were invited. Then you sat back, waited for everyone else to do the work, and now you're moaning because you feel left out.
Have I got that about right?

I'm annoyed that they just assumed I would cover the weekend while they all go away, without even asking me if that was ok for me to cover for them. I said maybe when they asked me. I didn't say more about it cos I'd been busy and it was mentioned

Wasn't mentioned rather. Sit back and let them do the work???

I’m confused, you knew you would have to cover that weekend anyway? How? Why?

So someone out of the group that was invited would have to stay and cover?

Well presumably they still haven't asked you to cover them and that just how the rota has worked out?
Presumably the others all said yes and so made sure they weren't working...

You can't be wishy washy in your reply then expect others to work around your possible interest.

There's nothing worse, we've missed out on cheap train tickets, or restaurants etc waiting for people in tge past, I'd never do it again. Especially if they didn't ask what was happening, the week later.

One of the people going is the person that does the Rota. We work together as a team so it just would have been nice for them to say " hey we've planned to go away that weekend, sorry but we need you to work and cover us, is that ok". Not complicated, just polite and nice basically instead of arranging it anyway without telling me first.

does you covering for them mean your shifts will be changed? Why not put a small spanner in the works and say the reason you can't go with them (or were "maybe" at the start) is because you have something planned that weekend that can't be changed. (assuming your shift was already fixed)

On the other hand, if you want to keep friendly, just suck it up and tell them not to forget to bring you back a giant Toblerone from the airport.

You didn’t say yes, you said maybe. Organising things like this is such an arse without having to chase up the wishy washy “maybe I’ll come... how much is it? Can you include me then I’ll let you know down the line? Maybe not.... hang on.... no response for 5 days”

I wouldn’t chase people up like that either, I’d firm up the plans with the yes people and let everyone else get on with their life

Why didn’t you say you wanted to go if you wanted to go....?

@StarB3 do you ask if it would be ok for someone to cover your shift when you book a holiday?
No. Because the person who does the rota accommodates your holiday.

It's different if they wanted to do an shift swap but it sounds like you sometimes have to work weekends anyway.

Don't ask if you're being unreasonable if you're unwilling to accept that you're being unreasonable.

Well now I've been told I'm being unreasonable I will accept that haha. Thanks for the comments. It's not that easy to explain things on here.